Thursday, February 16, 2012

Under your very feet

Geologist's Dream: A ground breaking and secret report commissioned by Cadbury's Crème Eggs has revealed that large areas of the UK are siting on top of a vast lake of molten chocolate. It is believed that the lake may at least a mile below the surface of the land and follow, almost exactly, the surface profile of this great and sceptered country. The molten chocolate is believed to be at a constant temperature of 40 degrees Centigrade and considering it's peculiar location is in a relatively stable state. Plans are afoot to harvest this unique discovery and use it as a source of power, heating and nutrition though experts are divided on the actual full potential of the resource. There are of course numerous technological problems and many of society's most deep seated prejudices that will have to be overcome. There are also issues over cowboy or gypsy type white van miners who may well, by using cheap and unhygienic equipment, attempt to draw some of the precious hot chocolate from the bowels of the earth and introduce it to the food or energy chain. A special task force is planned to counter the possibility of this. So below our green and pleasant and minted land a chocolate sea is churning...

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