Ode to a plastic cow (Atom Heart Mother tribute):
With your plastic udders and plastic ass,
Above the septic tanks on sewage fed grass,
I doubted your existence but had to ask,
Were you sent from Switzerland for this task?
Because for a real cow you'll never pass,
You're not even plastic, just cheap fibreglass.
This real plastic/fibreglass cow can be seen in an imaginary field at Loch Leven's Larder any day from 0930 - 1730, weather permitting. Advance booking is not always necessary.