Snail Collage and North Korea

"It's been a bumper year for snails!" said nobody ever other than the many snail farmers across in France and possibly elsewhere too. So in Scotland the snail community doesn't seem to be doing so badly in our garden and as we've not got any actual proper fruit and veg to worry about I've declared peace and prosperity across the small green place and the snails can pretty much do what they like and go where they please. Peace has broken out. Let that be a lesson to the warmongering elite that make their miserable choices to destroy any alternative ideology that they can't tolerate. A simplistic view I know but too much situational analysis numbs my brain ...  so back to happy snails and onwards to South Korea.

Ho hum, here's North Korea, off in the distance, as seen from South Korea. We move in a turbulent world. Photo by Liv.

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Stomp Boxes

Free parking and unfinished business: Chinese built mini pedals, a Build Your Dream (BYD) production and presentation at almost bargain prices and relatively free of tariffs. I thought I'd be a super smart arse and take a photo of these experimental settings as they seem to produce a nice tone with a workable level of sustain. "What were the amp settings?" I hear you say. Err... 

Gandalf Snacks

By the light of Treebeard's ghost: Here in Queensferryshire we enjoy bountiful supplies of Hobbit inspired snacks, mainly gleaned from Gandalf's Big Book of Recipes. Ingredients from nearby farms and fields are often used or completely ignored. It's all a matter of taste, time wasting and trickery. Despite Gandalf being a wizard and not a hobbit, all his Zoe based recipes seem to hit the spot with smaller framed people. It's a big deal in Fifeshire. 

Even his mysterious Chi-blob cat snacks for dogs and humans work out well (as below). Please see local press for details and shop opening times (by moonlight only) and news of special occult eating events. Also please note that this simple culinary venture is nothing at all to do with any Amazon "turd based" Middle Earth adaptations or film versions.

Edinburgh Daily Photo

An impressive midnight view from the heart of Edinburgh Castle looking down onto Princes Street and across the Forth to the distant lights of the Kingdom of Fife. As you might expect this inferior night time photo kind of misses out the visual splendour of actually being there.

The fabled Camera Obscura is lit up at night for some reason. You need to actually go inside during the day, preferably on a bright sunny one to see the optical magic happen.

After a lifetime of working with all manner of heavy lifting equipment I'm a sucker for watching a decent mobile crane in action. This impressive beast of a tower crane has been busy installing the seating for whatever events are happening here on the Castle Esplanade over the summer. I'm unlikely to be at any of these shows but a big shout out to the crane driver and teams of labourers I watched working up on the terracing putting this whole heavy metal puzzle together.

All The Peaceful Oilfields

 

Ambient: the dull mechanical, blurry hum of machinery and industry somewhere further away, out of sight but audible.

Cruel, rogue and clearly religiously unhinged, the state of Israel carries out missile and drone strikes against Iran, a pretty dangerous and religiously unhinged state in itself. Unsurprisingly Iran retaliates. Within minutes the price of oil shoots up ... while more innocent people are killed or injured. The markets and war machines still have the upper hand.

Friday Thirteenth

It's Friday the 13th and I'm not superstitious but at an even looser end than usual so here's some random, unrelated photos, not all taken by me but they are "to do" with the past few days. I'm also keeping the text (or a stream of "childish drivel" as it's commonly known) to the minimum. No explanations required, perhaps there are some vague connections but nothing deeper.

Experimental Whisky

I'm quite poor at being Scottish. I'm an underachiever. Golf,  Rabbie Burns, bagpipes ... not really for me. I do like whisky however but I know nothing technical or historically interesting about it. I just enjoy a dram. That made this kindly gifted, oddly named bottle of Experimental Series #4 a new discovery: so they try things out in the distilleries? Didn't think of that. Then again you might argue that every cask and blend of whisky is a bit of an experiment. That actually applies to all distillery work or brewing, wine making, cheese, coffee etc. 

Life is just wandering across the world in clothes without an occasional experiment to stimulate and spice things up. Experience a fresh taste or take a hit. I'm looking forward to cracking this open for a nip, maybe I'll just sit back and learn something in that golden glow of the amber nectar and a small set of revelations will emerge through the murky darkness of my mind. Could it be that we're just another of God's experiments stuck on a dusty shelf in a forgotten petri dish in the corner of the lab? - but we can still create good whisky. 

Brown Socks Don't Make It

Some might say that brown socks really don't make it. I can understand that sentiment. This particular colour is simply a rather pedestrian shade of brown, that simple. Not to everyone's taste but if they're comfortable then I'm OK. So if you're geeky enough or simply interested in other vague or obtuse Frank Zappa references then I suggest you check across the five and a half thousand plus posts and twenty one years that make up this blog's peculiar landscape. They're in there somewhere for your perusal but don't ask me, I've certainly not kept any records.

Cat Shit Safari

 

Part of our cat facilities management duties or cat janitorial work as it is often described, are of course carrying out regular sweeps of the garden to collect and remove clumps of cat poo from wherever they may be buried. Naturally not everything is buried nor does it always stay buried. Activity is unpredictable. So it's sort of like an archaeological dig involving research and chance but in the end there's no real treasure to discover,  just the mild sense of smugness that comes with having done some bit of insignificant environmental cleansing. 

Today's impromptu rummage yielded about half of an asda bag of material, so that's not too bad though we've not developed actual KPIs yet. What's left will slowly rot away over time, so I tell myself, but with three active cats out in the garden and surrounding areas everyday, growing herbs and vegetables has become a thing of the past. It's just too complicated to police and the thought of actually eating the produce isn't a pleasant one for me. So ends another dream, silently but with, as you'd expect, an earthy and pungent odour.

Edinburgh Daily Photo

Following a French breakfast fix we found ourselves in the gardens and interior of the Scottish Gallery, Dundas Street, Edinburgh. The rain kindly gave itself up for a few minutes as we looked around it. Here's a large piece of stone that I know nothing about.

Works (indoors) on display by Pascale Rentsch, some of which were inspired or about the gallery garden. Delicate, strangely beautiful and sort of skittish (not Scottish), but in a good way.

Ironmongery sculpted metal shapes and fragments are attached to the outside wall in the garden, not sure who to credit. Being a bit of a construction and fastener geek I spent some time trying to identify the key fixings and how the pieces had been attached to the wall. This is how I amuse myself, seeing and understanding the way other people do the things that I'm unlikely to ever do.

Seventeen Years Ago

I found this old photo the other day. I had completely forgotten about it. That happens a lot, but then again it was taken in May 2008. Here are two adorable (yes, I know) cats we had back then, both fixed onto some passing birds flying off into the blue, I imagine. Clint is on the left, he died in 2023 and Smudge, his sister, is on the right. Smudge died not long after this pic was taken in 2008 after being hit by a vehicle. Shortly after that their mum, Missie, came to stay with us. At the time we lived elsewhere in a green and pleasant land filled with things for cats to kill - unfortunately. Seems like a lifetime ago but it isn't, unless you're a cat.

Kiki's Delivery Service Cafe

 

What's not to like about a "Kiki's Delivery Service" themed cafe somewhere in Seoul, South Korea? Obviously I'm not there at the moment but I know somebody who is/was and they kindly sent me the pics. Kiki's has been a family favourite Studio Ghibli movie for over twenty years and remains in my top ten, now if only I could remember the other nine. It's not everyone's cup of Java but I like it - that of course applies to almost everything. So what's the chances of a themed cafe like that happening in one of our laid back, clean and peacefully beautiful Scottish cities (and remaining open for more than a month)? Pretty unlikely I'd say. 

Lost to the Future

 

Gibson guitars are hamming things up just a tad with a "hunt" for the Cherry Red ES 335 guitar from Back to the Future. It's been lost since 1985 apparently. Report any suspected sightings here. There may or may not be some kind of reward but if you do have this Holy Grail guitar you're onto something. I'm sure you knew that anyway. You can bet that Gibson are up to commercial and marketing mischief here.

Speaking of lost things here's a thing I never did own but for unknown reasons I consider it to be lost. I was never a big fan of EJ but I did quite enjoy this album, a hitless wonder of a pre-Americana kind of black plastic dish. It was close to cool to be "into" this when it first appeared in 1970 before everything got a bit silly. Part of my high school years soundtrack of aural noodles, fights and needless rebellion. Funny how there was almost a straight line from this onto Can, Gentle Giant and the Mahavishnu Orchestra. More old memories. I'm slowly coming unstuck.

Technical Shelf

 

I see that Lego have started making Lego cameras that look very much like cameras but don't actually work. You'll fund them and numerous other things on the Technical Shelf. Lego also make other models of things, some that work up to point and some that don't other than acting as inanimate facsimiles of the original item. Some models are just toys really, others are complex machines or maybe, if taken too far beyond any of these terms, might be seen as just a bit pretentious.

Speaking of tech it's quite good that, at a certain stage of life, you send off a poo sample to a lab in Dundee and shortly thereafter they send you a letter back saying that you don't have bum cancer. I know that there are the other kind of letters that some people must get that are not so good but I've managed to avoid them so far. Don't knock the NHS (well not for this sort of thing).

Monday Marxism

So what or who  might your top three Marxists be? Mine are roughly* as follows:

1) The Marx Brothers.

2) Marks & Spencer

3) Karl Marx.

So despite various scandals and poor lifestyle choices I'd give top marks (groan!) to the actual Marx Brothers. The absurd (had to get that word in), surreal but often strangely conventional comedy family that still remain highly influential, copied and referenced within art and entertainment to this day. I was introduced to them fairly early on when their films were still regularly broadcast on TV in 425 blurry lines. Those films would have been almost thirty years old at the time but I didn't really realize their age because my own wee out of time world was completely  monochrome just like theirs. I just liked them because they were stupidly funny and so different from the Billy Cotton Band Show, Come Dancing or whatever the two available TV channels coughed up at the time. I even enjoyed the ridiculous and hammy musical bits they added in.

Marks & Spencer - Mainly about the food but also for their trouser selection which for some reason seem to be made in sizes that can fit somebody like me. *I also know that this Marx was actually Michael Marks but who cares?

Karl Marx - Grizzled, misunderstood, often misquoted and a byword for a theoretical political radicalism that is a better model than many others. I can't completely disagree with someone who said "Keep people from their history and they can be easily controlled" (unless that's another misquote). The thing is we all know that Marxism will never work because amongst other things ... people are involved and human life is way too complicated.

Destinations

Too much air in the wrong places today. The wind logistics team worked hard to balance out shortages. There were large pockets of excess air here and there. Everything seemed to be headed over here though, to the right or East as it's sometimes known. The water was a bit bumpy too. I'd recommend eye protection if you're cutting back any vigorous or stubborn vegetation. Dust mites, thrips and tiny particles of debris all swirl in a dangerous aerial soup.

So I've captured a blurry, window based photo of a visiting cruise ship. The SS Indefatigable returning from the Orient perhaps. It's also a bit windy for cruise ships today but the cruise crews find it all too hard to choose. Trips and buses are all booked so they can't easily dodge the blustery conditions. It's an unavoidable and exhausting week long party for the cruise Grockles in their baseball caps and over sized sunglasses. 

You see we live in a "destination" which is quite near to a proper "DESTINATION" called Edinburgh. Was it destiny that brought us to this destination? Was it fate, predestination or something else? I've no clear idea.

For clarity I should say that the windy day was yesterday. We've all moved on since then. The Grockles safely sailed away about 8ish.

Fake Plastic Trees

 

Out and about in the East of Scotland: I admit that for a few seconds I was fooled but once I had got myself together (as the younger folks might say) I realized that I had simply encountered one of either China, Israel or Russia's carefully placed and camouflaged not so secret listening stations suitably disguised as an innocent indigenous tree of some sort. 

Thanks to meeting strict award winning environmental and design guidelines you can see how well it blends in with the surrounding soft, green and pleasant West Lothian countryside on a braw May day. Worried about intrusive fascist states? Just relax, think daft and happy thoughts and talk any kind of lively Edinburghshire bollocks on your phone or enter them in the comments, then let the AI bots in Texas and Tel Aviv try to make some sense of it. 

Once you get a little closer to the "tree" you can see where they put in the AAA batteries and their multiple USB connected connections feeding back to Air Force One (the updated Qatar "Kamikaze" model), BBC Scotland and the Vatican's dungeons and torture gardens.

As a warning though, please don't get too close, it may be protected by a state of the art Golden Dome. The local MSP and the council are well aware of this fixture (a site of outstanding scientific interest) and have assured nearby residents that the access road will certainly not be maintained unless a new set of speed bumps are deemed to be necessary.

Life Still

Life still/still life with socks.

It was a plain kind of day. All I had to do was take a pictures of things. That was the job I'd made up. I didn’t want to do it, but I did it anyway. Something told me to. I don’t know if it came from inside or outside my head.

I was calm about everything now. The people I loved. The money. The world pressing down. It would all go the way it would go. Kismet.

The only thing left was to keep a record. A record of what had happened. What was happening. What might come. 

Then the mirror writing began but from the keyboard.

That was enough. Quite enough.