Friday, January 30, 2015
(Indeed these are the actual pictures of two views I viewed (as above), there are no photos of the views I missed however). I spent a couple of days in Cornwall. Most of the time it was wet and gloomy, the roads were narrow and the breeze from the English Channel icy as I sped around in a nippy wee hatchback. The real ale was pretty good as was the seafood. Now I'm back home...and that's always best.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Whilst I certainly wish these obviously sincere folks well in their lives and chosen careers it's pretty hard to look at a photo like this, presented in any context and not think that religious processes and the garb that goes with them (and the ritual, tools and the surroundings) isn't all pretty screwy and (you have to say) it looks like it was all made up by either a lunatic or complete joker. There I've said it. As an alternative here's a likeable alien I made earlier...
From the Daily Mash:
"Greeks vote to stop having the shit kicked out of them".
GREEK voters have defied expectation by choosing not to be beaten like cringing dogs for the next five years.
Offered the choice between another half-decade of soaring unemployment and plummeting household incomes or a bit of a change, the Greek electorate has stunned Europe by making the wrong decision.
The ruling New Democracy party is still wondering how its platform of Endless Suffering For Everyone was defeated by Syriza’s competing message of Maybe Not That.
Athens voter Elena Mitropoulos said: “I was going to do the responsible thing and vote for continuing austerity, because I know how important it is not to damage the German economy, but madness overtook me in the polling booth.
“Now we face a future of working hospitals, of recovering industry, of my children not begging for food in the streets. I wish I had not been so rash.”
EU technocrat Denys Finch Hatton said: “There is a very real danger that people across Europe, inspired by the Greeks, will no longer choose to be ruled against their best interests by people they never voted for living in massive wealth hundreds of miles away. Though we hope they will follow the fine example Scotland set and continue to do just that.”
(That's a killer of a final line, let's just hope they carry on and retrieve the Elgin Marbles as part of their healing process).
Saturday, January 24, 2015
|A Stirling engine, powered by warm air and temperature difference as opposed to hot air and general indifference.|
|The famous 3157 12volt auto bulb, never seen one in my life until today. Now I can die happy.|
Friday, January 23, 2015
|Peanut butter &|
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
At this time of year and in the dark I often mistake by boots for cats but I have never mistaken my cats for boots. Socks and pants also suffer from the same mix up but they seldom scurry away or have smelly, furry bottoms (not when clean). I think these thoughts as I slurp warm home made soup from a cup shaped like a hand grenade. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make the least sense. With that in mind I consider a brace of tweets released on Sunday that badly quoted famous lines of dialogue from the 1979 film Apocalypse Now. A film that had been on my mind all week as funnily enough I'd watched it the previous Sunday on ITV4 or some other obscure channel. The tweets sank without trace except for single retweet from a surfer dude in California who clearly liked my almost comic take on "Charlie don't surf" featuring a cat. One of the cats that I have never mistaken for a boot. None of that helps me believe in aliens or an afterlife. I'll only believe in aliens if first and foremost they believe in me and I'll only believe in an after life if I can manage to scratch together some primitive belief system that covers the possible existence of intelligent life on this earth. Impossible really.
|Sunset over the water.|
Monday, January 19, 2015
The tribes of our elders and visiting divine presences of Scotlandshire aided and abetted by aliens and alliteration left a series of complex messages hidden in ancient stone structures all across the blasted and sometimes frozen landscape. A brisk, hangover clearing walk any given Sunday accompanied by a pair of binoculars and a large magnifying glass will reveal their hidden secrets; so I have been told. The truth is (seldom) out there if you only know where to look. I'd say more but the strict laws of blasphemy currently practiced in Fife force me to hold my tongue. Heresy is an unspeakable crime so best not to speak of it. In terms of understanding history and the nature of god and suchlike I must say that I found the recent blockbuster DVD release "Noah" starring the wonderfully concrete faced Russell Crowe, the girl from "Labyrinth" and a truckload of special effects extremely helpful. Religious groups of any moderate persuasion should take note.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
OK it's 11:45 on what I thought I would call a "creative day"... I'm starting slowly burdened down by the bitter cold and having too much fried bulk for breakfast. I started by lighting up the stove, it's still blazing hours later and the house is full of a hazy smoky film or fugg, a bit like my head. So far I've only managed to place three rather puerile and distorted quotes onto Twitter based on famous lines from Apocalypse Now. I also added some tenuously linked up up photos taken whilst scraping around in the house this morning. Waiting for inspiration sucks. I watched Nick Cave's 20000 Days last night (?), his output is phenomenal but the quality is patchy to say the least. He ate fried eels and also ate sloppy pizza, he has very enthusiastic fans, he's different. I'm clearly not Nick Cave but he is clearly not me. I take some small pieces of damp consolation from this. He does have a nice Jaguar though.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
|Two people wearing shirts as well as other clothes.|
Friday, January 16, 2015
|Beware, freezing conds could damage your building.|
FREEZING CONDOMS - not a pleasant thought (but some fetishists may disagree).
FREEZING CONDOMINIUMS - over enthusiastic or badly adjusted air conditioning.
FREEZING CONDUCTORS - if at some chilly orchestral concert.
FREEZING CONDORS - birds of prey descending on the road from a high altitude.
FREEZING CONTENDERS - winter Tough Mudder venue up ahead?
On balance somebody probably meant "freezing conditions" but what could that possibly mean around here?
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
In a desperate bid to avoid any further negative examples of posting or random carping about irritating types, rubbish music or all the evil in the world here's a cat waking up from an otherwise peaceful sleep on a basketwork chair just as a blizzard is about to start.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Now that they've changed the formula I can't go on and eat any more of these. It's not possible, it seems like it's some unspeakable and uneatable act. Wrong and reprehensible. From now on I vow not to consume any CCEs ever again (in the January or February of any year). It never was any more that a sugary Polyfilla mixture in a greasy chocolate egg shell that was far to small to ever have been mistaken for a real egg.
I hate to say it but there's something about Margaret Curran that makes my flesh creep. Driving home today she came on the radio to discuss the awful Citylink collapse and despite my interest in the story that radio had to go straight off. A mild panic attack and a grab at the rotary switch. I'm thinking chalk on a blackboard here. I don't understand why she gets to me this way and it's not all about Scottish Labour or any of that tedious business nor is it about the referendum. I'm sure, outside of politics she's a nice person and a caring human being but...that voice and that way of talking...of course I apologise for any offence taken.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
I was born too soon for these guys to be my heroes. They're out on the margins, interesting but not burrowed into my life like the "others" who as it turns out are mostly people from that god-awful decade known as the sixties. This forgotten and woe begotten place /decade remains as the major and persistent source of various ear worms and technicolor flashbacks of lucid and often awful memory. It must be an age thing.
So help me but I can't help but buy food, despite the fact we don't really need more...somehow it all gets eaten. Some law of physics is bending to the point of imminent fracture here. So today I went looking for a chicken pie but could only find a steak pie and a tray of brownie like chocolate sludge, milk and a bag of potatoes. I will, without the assistance of the web, a net, an app or any prompting turn these random things into some sort of presentable meal. Later.
The good news is that the bad weather has attracted a colourful pair of magpies into the garden. Like crazy crows on drag these green and purple monsters clamber all over the bird feeders as the tits and sparrows look on, puzzled and bemused from a safe distance. Treat of the day for our feathered bandits are those pink suet bullets that Tesco sell. Birds of all sizes love them, perhaps they are some kind of socially acceptable drug in the avian community. They go in a matter of moments, gobbled up in a frenzy as the seeds and breadcrumbs are ignored.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Well maybe it's the time of year or then again maybe it's the time of man but you see, at this particular moment I don't quite know who I am and of course, with the true and irreversible passage of time, life is for learning. So I watched three acts on the Voice, and walked away, ate a chicken Kiev, drank some wine and stoked up the fire (no euphemism there). it seems that today has gone by the way, that way, in some by the way way. The good news being that the drains are unblocked and that the dishwasher works on the second click (who knew that), the Volvo will get MoT'd and all good taxi drivers with car trading experience would recommend Skodas, every time. I also learned a French term for melted chocolate and added cream and in an earlier version of myself found myself agreeing with Will Self. That was today, tomorrow is chicken and leak pie; naturally.
Friday, January 09, 2015
Today, for the most part the weather / traffic / news / stuff outside was totally frightful. Escape is rare but I found some in this lunchtime club sandwich containing the works. All the bad things can just go away at least for a few minutes while the moment of sandwich (near) perfection is enjoyed. Good coffee also at Reubens in the quaint old and sadly neglected town of Dunfermline. Outside a busker played Beatles tunes on a clarinet. Next door in the £ a chair barbers I had a haircut and a blether. Then back home to make more beds than you could shake a ragged duvet at.
Wednesday, January 07, 2015
...and gone today. Naturally it seems quite right to show solidarity with #JeSuisCharlie this evening. I'm tempted to rant about religion, terrorists and extremism but Rushdie puts it far better than I ever could so just to maintain some balance here's a rainbow cat.