Eclipse Chasers

They (?) call them the "eclipse chasers" but I don't know what they call themselves. They fly across countries to stand in a field and wait for the sun to disappear. They have special glasses to stay safe. Special cameras. Special websites. Special opinions. They know the weather in places they have never been and will never visit again. Then the moon moves across the sun. It gets dark. Everyone looks up. Kind of a primitive way to be, but "in the name of science" is there in their heads.

For a few minutes the world stops being ordinary. Just a bit darker. Some people might cheer. Hopefully no human sacrifice (or any other kind) takes place. Then the sun comes back. Some other people might cheer. The eclipse chasers pack their bags and go home. They have seen something that has been happening for billions of years -  so I've been told. They are very pleased with themselves. They will absorb the costs and no doubt do it all again.

Nobody Ever Asks

At a certain age it's true to say that you may have more time to spare. Or time to kill even. Not on real work that makes actual money, but pottering about and misplacing useful items then finding them days later. I do all that but I can keep busy in many other ways, as per above and below:

Cat wrangling - not as hectic as it once was. The cats have settled down but there always is the odd time they require a rescue or return for a decent meal.

Guitar - some practice and the occasional repair project. Currently trying out learning huge swathes of Bob Dylan's material. I work mostly in fits and starts, followed by great leaps forward (then backwards of course). 

Garden - loads of things here, too many to mention. Pond pump restoration and maintenance and bloody solar panels is currently top of the list. Some thoughtless self sabotage may have been involved before the "fix" came along.

Misc - repairs to the log burner's inner liners. Yes it's a real and awkward thing. Dirty and fiddly but if it all works ... great. 

Unavoidable/Hail Mary

Andy Warhol is unavoidable. Still present. Despite being quite dead since 1987. Now he resides in some artistic firmament. Beyond our sphere. Floating free in a cloud of familiarity. Remembered for 15 minutes, Brillo Pads, Campbell's Soup cans and excess or all sorts. Now I'm not sure if this photo is real or a curious bit of AI. I should've check the source but I didn't. He might appreciate that.

There are many other unavoidable artists out there. Most of whom have been dead for even longer than Andy Warhol. 

The late, great and very short non-review. I saw Hail Mary about a month ago but was reminded it existed in a conversation yesterday. It's a kind of a cross between ET and Robinson Cursoe. An interesting mash up of themes and storytelling. Currently watchable on the Devil's own Amazon Prime for free, apart from the fact that nothing is ever free. Four Stars 💥💥💥💥. 

This post was thought up, fueled up and runs on a reheated haggis, beans and French toast breakfast (with a side of chilled Toblerone). That's how we roll around these parts.

Edinburgh Daily Photo

Not in central Edinburgh so much these days, I'm a little out of touch, but it seems like these new pink bikes (for hire) are everywhere. Trouble is I've not seen anybody actually riding one of them so far. Perhaps there's a few mad hours later in the evening once everybody get's a bit more relaxed and lubricated and they (?) race around the city's cycle lanes performing tricks and racking up huge rental bills.

Burn down the mission: Yeah, Princess Street is a tip, best avoided. The Great (and clearly or nearly accidental) Fire of Debenhams has not improved it either but ... the buses are flowing more freely now that they don't have to compete with the trams. This is only my opinion.

Coffee review: Surprisingly good and affordable coffee is available in Lauriston Place. It's at the ground floor coffee shop in the NHS Lauriston Building. Opening hours TBA. These days I'm a semi-regular visitor due various age related issues. The coffee and buns there are a wee treat after ... well after stuff. I guess you could also purchase some as a passer-by without being a patient or maybe you could just drop in and give a pint of your blood next door while you're there? 

One Contretemps After Another

Not quite sure why I'm being targeted by AliExpress with special offers on dental teaching models(?). I did have a slight contretemps with my ex-dentist a few weeks ago when I decided to "seek a second opinion" and, as a result, left that Fife-based practice in favour of one closer to home. Hopefully one that's a lot less dodgy too, so I won't need to try DIY.

In no way am I qualified to teach or assist students of dental health. It's just not my thing. I'm no teeth geek. The chaotic nature of today's tech-driven offers, however, keeps me both confused and amused, up to a point.

So, if I'm seen by some hive mind to be interested in dental education, guitar machine heads, and some unknowable device described as "not bevelled", then that's fine. They're all cheap as chips and most likely of poor quality, so why should I even care? Always good to be a little misunderstood by these hungry, shifty, demonic algo-bugs. Get right back to your data centre you little bastards.

The Analogue Restistance

Life and Transience.

 "Life is all the things of mortals and all things pass us by; 

but if not, then we ourselves will pass them by."

or

"Everything passes. If it doesn't, we do."

I saw a book advertised on Amazon all about the "analogue resistance". A writer's ideas. It's cover was clearly a piece of AI artwork. Perhaps, in times of great change, nothing actually changes in the way you'd expect, or falls into line with your mild or safe expectations. The change is awkward, contradictory, and in the end only more of the same, but people will applaud it. The media takes note. Buzz words follow.

Somewhere, somebody did something. They published an article, a detailed post or made a YouTube Short. It was seen by many, but also swallowed by the great flood of dopamine hits that it swam amongst. Everybody stayed the same and moved along, just as the algorithm predicted. The revolution may not be televised because it may never happen. The cotton wool of the low conversation choked out it's young life.

We don't know it but we've been caffeinated to death.

Old Photos

Failed cheap Chinese T-shirt: an experimental one-time purchase. Lasted about two washes but met it's ultimate fate following a heated exchange with the tumble dryer. Straight to the bin, sadly. I liked the design almost as much as I like sardines. I hope that their EVs and outdoor jackets are a bit more durable. Also: "you get what you pay for", as your mum might have said.

By way of an explanation: There's always some mysterious folder on the desktop that I completely forget about. Here's why, it's full of fairly shitty and useless photos that I'm unlikely to do much with. Or am I? Well I decided to use a few of them here and I can't recall and I can't be bothered to check if they've been used or are on view anywhere else.

Exhausted? When you run a twenty three year old car you spend a lot of time looking at stuff like this and then start scratching your head and talking to yourself quietly. Sadly but not sadly I've moved on from this now.

A snail on the glass. Pardon the blur.

Then there was the time when brass guitar nuts, some with rollers fitted, were all the rage. It was the way forward. We move on. Not sure about the current direction right now.

Word Art Nostalgia

Somewhere deep in Fife this working phone box actually works.

Cats at large.

OK, The Word Art belongs to another time. Forget it. You may have missed that stage of MS Office. Let's move on. Show some love for the P Bass. The faithfull and reliable pack-horse of blues, funk, soul, jazz and rock - and everyting else.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

Just the other day: Another great slab of metal, plastic and people sails under another great slab of iron and steel. The travel and holiday industry moves quietly along right by our window and under our noses before breakfast has been served. Well it's only five past eight and the old town clock never tells fibs as far as we know. Welcome to Scotland y'all. 

Today will be mostly sunny. We'll get the washing dry and do a spot of gardening and you'll be on an air conditioned coach bound for various Outlander locations or maybe even a visit to a Harry Potter themed gift shop. The kilted guide will explain everything clearly using an upcycled and cultured version of the local dialect. Have a nice time here.

Duck Soup

Not so sure about coming back as a duck, but it really depends on the other options being offered up. Just take your time if you get the chance to choose. So, I've mentioned this before but @beetlemoses is currently my favourite cartoonist. That's all I have to say. 

Fridge Chatter

Popular trees in other parts. A sea of (almost) green.

The aftermath of a successful cat grooming session. I collected almost enough material with which to construct a second cat, should anyone be inclined to do so.

Borrowed fridge chatter that remains within the margins.

Helping in a Big Way

 

It's very nice to be told that your trivial act of little real effort is helping people. Particularly so, when it's by the AI heart of a grim and far away Google bot of some sort which is simmering away in a data centre deep in the Californian desert. Simply purchase a few builder's bags worth of logs and you're well on the way.

One of these days I'm going to get myself one of those new fangled sheep floats. Oh yes! And I'll certainly have a nice day.

Nothing to see here, just another normal outbreak of domestic (Cooncil) cats spontaneously appearing wide eyed out of random cardboard boxes. An everyday occurance around our gaff.

Unrecogniizable but Familiar

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower. Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in one hour." - William Blake.

It could be from or to do with that long running story and unwritten song; the Ballad of Jackie Earth and Julie Ocean. Not many will remember now. It was a long time ago and I don't really know much other than it was a real thing. Maybe it all worked out fine eventually. I wonder, where are they now?

These Stones

 

"Many a mickle of Scottish stones make a muckle of a wall." 

Robert Burns.

Some time in the 18th Century.

Near to Gatehouse of Fleet.

Or Fleethouse of Gate.

--:--

Moonage Daydream

"Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!" ("...and keep your 'lectric eye on me," while you're at it, if you don't mind.)

Those were the days when we dreamed of a sparkly, strange moon age. Nobody had the faintest idea what it meant. Maybe we stared at the moon like cats might. But it was just a tuneful comic strip of images and TV footage running through our heads. NASA could do no wrong.

The dream didn't last, and that age is long gone. It was the early '70s, though, and anything seemed possible, if you were a certain age. This cycle of life repeats endlessly as we thrive, look around and then die back into safe cover over time.

Now we're stuck in a Martian daydream. If anything, it's even less believable than the old moonage one.

Just another song that they don't play on the radio ... who listens to music radio anyway?

Strawberry Portaloo

 

It was that kind of day. Some perpetual pop festival event as the stones were cut back into shape. Yes we have a portaloo. And I visited the Korean style supermart for good measure. Short sentences for crimes against ventriloquism. The tidy wee cake comes from Cupar in Fife. It takes a good photo. Sunny July. This is what blogging is all about.

The Opinions of Cats

Apropos of nothing: Here's the common MAGA style USA agruement for curtailing and/or snuffing out free artistic, ideological and political expression.

'"You expressing your point of view oppresses me, you enjoying your civil rights oppresses me. Even though I’m the second most powerful man in the country, other people having their point of view is actually oppression against me." Said by J D Vance, sometime? 

Not completely sure of the source but it sounds about accurate. "Get back into your small corner because your rights don't count, that's the message. My rights are far more important than yours."

Even the cats know this is political dogshit. Don't be afraid to speak up.

Though it's not the first thing I have to say, the first thing that I have to say next is that nobody on this earth ever wants "lashings of ice cream". I saw this phrase as part of an article header about a walking holiday spent somewhere in England. "Lashings of ice cream?" No thanks. A tub or a cone with a reasonable amount of firm ice cream placed into it is fine. Lashings? WTF.

Kind of glad the World Cup's over now. Maybe just too much of everything. It's tiring, well the final certainly was. Less is often more ... so let's have not so much of the USA style razzamatazz, overkill and general bufoonery in future. 

South Queensferry Daily Photo

 

Meet the budgerigars who are at home in the barber shop. A blue and a yellow. They live free and fly randomly across the shop. Thankfully they seem to be averse to flying out of the door and also shitting on the customer's newly shorn heads. They chirp but don't talk much and they have no names. But as a special treat(?) any kids in for a haircut can name them for the duration of their visit. Seems reasonable, giving permanent names to animals, ones that they didn't even ask for, is quite odd, when you think about it.

OK, I know that they have to be called something ...

Life Hacks for Idiots

 

1. Drink water when you are thirsty.
You will live longer than if you don't. Beer's OK too, now and then.

2. Rise a little earlier if you must be somewhere.
Time does not bargain with you.

3. Write things down.
Memory is brave until next Tuesday.

4. Leave your keys where you left them yesterday.
The house is not out to get you.

5. When you are cold, put on another jumper.
Winter has never respected human optimism.

6. Take a list to the shop.
Hunger always buys foolishly.

7. Charge your telephone before it dies.
Dead machines answer no one.

8. Put food in the fridge before it spoils.
Bacteria is patient.

9. Empty the rubbish before it begins to smell.
Decay always keeps it's appointment.

10.Wash the cup after you drink from it.
Tomorrow is improved by small things done today.

There are no tough hacks. 

There is only paying attention. 

Most of what men call wisdom is just the advice of some old guy.

Don't be a fuckwit.

Everything else is advertising.

Burger Wallpaper - Flip Side