Tuesday, July 21, 2020

The Wearing of Masks

Some folks say that it's a patriotic duty, you must be a good citizen and don a mask when required. Saltire designs and Joker smiles, football teams and floral patterns. So I'm slowing growing used to, perhaps even becoming almost fond of mask wearing. A new part time ritual. I only wear a mask in shops where there is the threat of humans and I'm not in shops very often, maybe a few times a week and only for a few minutes but the mask is fine. It brings a strange kind of anonymity that's enjoyable, maybe I wont be recognized, maybe if I committed a crime I'd somehow get away with. Maybe I can frown or mouth swear words and nobody sees. Most likely I wont behave like that  but I might try. 

But if it did, "The masked man did it!" They'd shout as I ran out of the shop with a wad of cash and all the other masked men would be suspects and would break into a run also as people everywhere panicked. In the comedic chaos and confusion I'd make my get away. Then, in some safe place I'd stop to think and wonder why it is that panicked has a k in it. It would help me de-stress after the robbery. After a short period of reflection I'd find a discrete way to return the money (unless it was from a shop I didn't really like or it was a business supporting Brexit or donating funds to the Conservative Party) or give it to some noble cause. 

So that's a new genre of fiction, a mask triggering over confidence, insanity and uncharacteristic behaviour in the person wearing it which leads on to some kind of epiphany and redemption all the time avoiding the spread of the infection. Maybe that's already been done.😊

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