Beaver Town

BBC image.

In a move echoing the Highland Clearances a community of Scottish beavers have been re-homed in Dorset. They have left their beloved hills, glens and social chaos forever and now reside in the sunny uplands of the Brexit Free State itself. The text says that they were somehow set free, but what is it all about? "Freedom" they cry from deepest Dorset as the timber loving refugees try to chew on hearts of stubborn oak and lead a new life amid strange accents and primitive customs. 

Freedom is an elusive thing that means different things to different people and to different beavers. The "F" word that successive UK governments have debased, mocked and made sterile. I just hope they can settle in and pave the way for the next part of the Scotland to England wildlife export program: carnivorous haggis and wild boars followed by packs of wolves, all high on cooncil-cocaine from the Methil Science Centre. At least they may avoid the coming Central Scotland ice-age. At that point it'll be renamed Narnia and rebranded as a frozen theme park.

Just a quick pointer to the good people of Dorset; prepared properly beaver does taste a lot like chicken.