Saturday, November 15, 2025

Top of the Bots

I was mostly against robot checkouts in shops for the usual Luddite reasons but like everyone else I've slowly given in, not to the customer exploitation or the fabricated convenience so much as the time taken. If you've only a few items to buy, then waiting in a queue for a cashier is frustrating. The bots can be quicker. 

I realise that billionaires and their immediate serfs do not have the mundane problem of actually waiting for stuff, so they do things their way to generate "savings" and efficiency etc. mostly for shareholders benefit. So, now that we're stuck with this fine tech "solution", which supermercado checkout abomination is the best system? Be warned, I'm likely to wander in the sharing of my observations.

Aldi - Probably top: Quite cramped and small at the point of use but superfast due to Aldi's clear and very effective barcodes. Everything works 100% of the time, staff on hand and quick to check alcohol purchases etc. They just do simple ranges of stuff and I have a false sense of smooth operational efficiency going on behind the scenes that I can almost believe in, so I'm not overwhelmed or agitated in their shops. The machines don't speak, well not to me. 

Tesco - Mid/low-table finish I'd say, always busy and staff often distracted by chatting to each other, sorting out security tags on stuff or trying to fix or check those dumb scan as you shop systems - over complicated. As ever Tesco tries to do too much, a huge range and level of inventory so things seem very busy and hurried. Some of the devices talk, others remain silent. Why? Doors on fridges are a thing now, not just in Tesco to be fair, who's fucking dumb idea was that, opening doors as old folks with trolleys shuffle past? The blue chip token things are a joke by the way. Just sort out your own selections for helping the local community and while you're at it calm down with your screwy Clubcard prices.

Morrisons - Nothing to say really, bland but workable. Don't shop there very often. I like the look of their bakery and fresh stuff but seldom buy anything. Low score? I don't know.

Co-op - Weirdly designed system. No obvious scales or weight checks and noisy, random beeps for some reason, but it's quick and effective. Also speaks in a kind of "Still Game" forced Scottish accent which is wearing a bit thin when you hear it every other day. Trying hard.

Boots - Fucking dreadful. Staff always elsewhere. Try buying a giftcard sometime, not easy. Bottom.

M&S - Mid-table: Again a peculiar device design that at first seems quite baffling but I guess is effective enough. There's bit of a height thing where you have to lift items higher to scan them than in other shops. Ergonomic failure? No clear area for used shopping baskets either.

B&Q - Obviously not a supermarket but one those places where sometimes you do it yourself (DIY) and sometimes a cashier intervenes and puts your stuff through. Must be a DIY ethos thing that's not quite understood by anybody. Fine if you're not behind somebody who's building a house.

Lidl - See Aldi. A bit more grubby and even more off the wall than Aldi but has decent fresh baked goods to offer, which are quite easy to put through the robot till. Topish, sometimes stocks Smucker's Goober.

Asda - Generally OK, absolutely no frills (or thrills), usually a charity intervention at the end of scanning. No idea what an Asda card actually gets you either so I won't be bothering with that. Solid performer on the whole "meal deal" thing though, something Asda has made dead simple while Tesco's meal deal price structure is a completely incomprehensible mess of colour and codes that has resulted in near nervous breakdowns for me a few times. A higher than usual proportion of Asda customers look pretty peculiar - but that's more of a Fife thing I guess. Overall a pretty good performance. 

Waitrose - Only been once in recent times, good sourdough bread. Used a human operated till to pay.

I may have veered a little away from the core topic here from time to time but it's (mostly) my blog and that's just how it is.

Next Up: Which system is easiest to fiddle?

2 comments:

  1. Superb post John - more of these "Which?" articles please!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, you never know, this is just what it is ...

    ReplyDelete