Happy Tuesday

 Everyone needs a happy Tuesday.

A golden shoes day.

I don't really understand what golden shoes might mean.

Sounds interesting.

Illustration by LB.

Imagined Daily Photo

Inner mediocrity: Turns out that my imagination is a fairly dull place with rather blunt edges and a lack of sympathetic tonal application. Some coin operated appliances may work up to a point. The property is available to rent via Airbnb but with limited seasonable availability even in the low to medium seasons. Forget the highs. Sleeps four. Pets and shoes welcome. Swamp parking conversion in progress.

Stories That Can Never Be Told

The Wager is a good book that I'd recommend. It's also nice to find subtle but subversive revelations and hidden truths in unexpected places. This makes me feel less alone in the world. A world which is a terrible place for too many people most of the time. Dark enemies, dark deals, dark silences and no real prospect of change.

"Empires* preserve their power with the stories that they tell, but just as critical are the stories they don't - the dark silences they impose, the pages they tear out."

*David Grann is of course referring to the British Empire here. Not much about it's operating methods has changed since 1740.

Fire Walk With Me

Lego: Back in the days of the crazy cults movement this might have been a useful part of an initiation ceremony. You could tackle it dry as suggested above or of course add petrol and a lit match for the full early disciple, hot, sticky and life changing experience. Those who fail or refuse can't ever join but might be able to walk home from the meeting physically unscathed though some kind of mental health damage is likely. Anyway the abstract plastic hail storm that is deconstructed Lego remains both a marvel and a baffling enigma for most adults. 

Many modern homes will have a bin full of it somewhere, all the stray pieces that are never likely to be reconstructed into anything remotely recognizable making this also a study of pain, frustration and considerable expense. It could fit nicely into your team building sessions as an extra task if such things are still common in the workplace. Otherwise very useful as a prank when carefully set up on the parent's bedroom floor for late night high jinks and swear fests. All of this is very good for the Danish economy and certain aspects of Viking mythology.

Tokyo Skyline (Offical Visualiser)

Obviously at some point I was bound to use the sweetly pretentious "official visualiser" term with a video because ... I'm addicted to using bullshit descriptions and well, why not? However no high scoring hit count or forecast of some reasonable extra income whatsoever is predicted. Fame, recognition and notoriety remain elusive and far away helium filled balloons that I seldom think about these days. I also have a morbid fear of balloons. This is actually known as globophobia. There, you've learned something new and so have I.

Spectral Musings

"The light enters the room and bounces around onto walls and through glass objects creating pretty patterns as it travels. It actually does this at the speed of light which still seems a rather strange description to use despite the fact that we experience light speed every day because we see everything at the speed of light. Light speed isn't just for describing distances in space, we live all of our lives immersed in it. God save the Queen!" 

From the diary and journal entries of Dr John Claude Boscoe, 14th February 1842. Chief Scientific Officer on the sloop HMS Twigberry.

Dead Pigeons

Because we have sinned (obviously) in various fairly regular ways, God has sent a plague of dead pigeons upon us. Well at least two ex-pigeons have been encountered in the garden recently. Strangely the destroyed corpse of one of them ended up perched on the top of our seasonally bald willow tree. About half an hour after I took this shaky photo a small raptor, probably a sparrow hawk, came along and carried the stiff pigeon's remains off into the woodland nearby. It was lunch time after all. I saw it with my own two eyes but unfortunately not with a camera to hand.

Idiots Guide

Idiots guide to blog posts: Waking up on a strangely sunny February morning and having nothing much new to say about anything, what to do? Easy, simply post a picture with a quotation from some reasonably interesting historical figure. Dead or alive doesn't really matter. The quotation should be profound enough to cause the reader to think for a moment (that's all anybody ever does), then they can move along and get on with their day. The blogger then feels like something has been achieved despite knowing that it's all trivial, unconnected and unable to be properly measured because of the abstract nature of all things.

Of course none of this applies to the higher life forms who post messages, kitten and puppy pics, car crashes and advice and incidents of all sorts on Insta or Tiktok. The strike rate is robust and the energy is intense. They not only survive, they thrive and all is well in their world other than some users may suffer from a strong sense of  "I'm sure I've already seen that, I wonder where it was?" 

There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in but they're ever so small which is why the rain is thin. SM.

(Official Visualiser)

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Welcome to the world of the official visualiser.

Apparently a thing that bands use these days.

Thinking of picking it up.

The use of brackets is optional.

 

"Pick up the things you love. Put down the things you don't. 

No matter where you are, that will feel like home."

I'm OK with this.

Willie is Well

Alternate Title - North Queensferry Daily Photo: A bit like Minas Tirith and Minas Morgul from LOTR, North Queensferry and South Queensferry look across those cold northern waters at one another comparing fortunes, favours and an uncertain future. I doubt that it'll ever come to an all out fictional war though, not even in this troubled and sleazy century.

Whatever else might be going on we can also take comfort from the fact the Willie is well, if a little ignored as a tourist attraction. To be honest NQ is a bit ignored overall but I imagine that those living there are quite happy with that. Peace of any kind is precious. 

Rankine's cafe is a nice, friendly spot, good coffee but the hot food is served on cold plates, something I've come to expect in Scottish eateries. I take this as a sign of the times and a measure of the slow decline of civilisation and one which people seem to put up with. The photo below is clearly not one of Rankine's cafe either. Everything in the shadow of the famous bridges isn't clean and pristine.

Dunfermline Daily Photo

 

Groan: This was a grand and important house once, now it seems to be abandoned. That's pretty much of how most of the centre of Dunfermline looks on a grey February morning. There's something very wrong happening in small towns and villages that's working itself out in the gradual ruin and abandonment of places. Structural decay is rife. No I don't have an answer. Nobody does.

In Search of Kerning

In typography, kerning is the process of adjusting the spacing between characters in a proportional font, usually to achieve a visually pleasing result. Kerning adjusts the space between individual letter forms while tracking adjusts spacing uniformly over a range of characters. In this video some numb-skull makes a simple kerning error early on, once seen it can't be unseen. It is however forgivable and frankly I'm not really bothered. Perfection is only for those who can afford it. Always good for the soul to own up to mistakes though.

Meanwhile George volunteers to put an M&S paper bag through it's paces. I'm glad to say that both cat and bag survived the crazy ordeal.

Why?

Why me? For the first time in a while I'm almost excited about the release of new music that's fairly conventional and obviously made by some relatively older guys. OK it's really about the guitar playing of John Squire more than the Gallagher drone and his overplayed dumb attitude but I'll be giving it a robust listen come March 1st. Not on that golden vinyl over priced shit either but in it's purest form; the bright, spinning, whizzing laser read CD format. I'm old but not fully ready to be old school yet.

Meanwhile from the twitter poetry library:

Perth and Kinross Daily Photo

 

"Something can't be truly representative of everything": Discuss and agree or disagree if you will using no more the 2000 words. You have two hours and thirty minutes to complete this task. 40 Points are on offer.

Unspoken Truths

Some people can't go through a single day without thinking about the Romans (gods, roads, cement, sanitation etc.). Some others perhaps find that the Vikings (rape and pillage, tattoos, axes and long-ships) occupy their minds at times. Others will see a cow somewhere every day; in a roadside field, as a design on a milk carton, a bar of chocolate or maybe a label on a leather item. Perhaps every day you hear a Beatles song or there's some reference to them, a lyric, a photo or an item of iconic 60s fashion maybe. I understand that whilst I get some of these thoughts, mostly regarding the Romans, I also find that in any room I happen to enter where there are people I know, I always think about the elephant. 

Today is the Day

From the Manchester Guardian: Today may be the day when, if the calculations are wrong, a rather large lump of E.T. rock biffs the earth. If the calculations are correct we're OK but if they are a bit fuzzy then it's going to be tough. That "if" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. I hope it wasn't just AI that checked the figures.

So perhaps no more anything for while then. No jury duty, no nice lunches, no self service petrol pumps, no beach holidays, no Dr Pepper cold from the fridge, no product placement. Also nobody reading this, but that's actually nothing to do with what the asteroid actually does.

Imagine if it missed us and just moves on through space and many light years later crashes into some small planet, right there in the creation zone's sweet spot, that's just forming and breeding primitive life as earth did billions of years ago. 

The Book of Screams Etc.

 It's not just any book, it's THE BOOK. YIIII!!

🠝Meanwhile in other news 🠝:

Turns out these are the two most common disabilities.

Unexpected TV brilliance but with a few bumps along the way: Season II of Traitors Australia is a crazy ride and it doesn't seem to overstay it's welcome either. Stick with it for some proper TV gold. Evolution is definitely running backwards there.

The Reluctant Juror's Day Off

A whale oil and deep pastel based study into human emotion and bigoted resolve painted in 1947 by the legendary American artist and hair stylist Hugo Einstein-Oppenheimer. The same Einstein-Oppenheimer who vanished into thin air at a champagne reception in a black and white New York gallery in a monochrome 1950. The painting was said to be the silent inspiration for a major Hollywood movie that has become a household name after winning various awards and honors for a load of trumped up actors and tedious film people. For many years this piece of work was considered to be lost but then one day it just sort of turned up somewhere and that was that so it was declared to be "found after all". 

It's value has been set at a sum of money that so far has not been disclosed by whoever set it but it has been described as uninsurable by insurers. It was voted to be Cultural Item of the Year and an International Treasure in 1948 by the then Chinese and Mandalorian Governments. It is instantly recognizable by most intellectual types everywhere and has been used as a test piece. The artwork remains a stiff, solid but slightly vague and rubbery enigma for a variety of reasons that I'm unable to disclose due to personal ignorance and privacy issues. If you want to see it or download a copy then the best place to do so is here. There will be no charge at this time but then again you never know who's going to come after you.

Apple

I was checking our material on what's a fairly sluggish Apple Music account. Somewhere I rarely go. It's a mysterious on line place where you can stream or even buy music for a small fee. Incredible I know. I was then offered the chance to create a "promotional" tool so obviously I took it. Somehow I imagined that as it was Apple they might construct something wonderful with their vast resources, something slightly more sophisticated than the above MP4 file which does next to nothing. It doesn't even come with a sound clip or anything, other than you can add your own link to Apple Music as you see fit. I wonder what they are currently ploughing their profits into? Here's the link they didn't bother to add. (End of the low key rants for the time being).

Fundamental Facts for the Freak Bros.

Apart from Fat Freddy and of course Fat Freddy's Cat who I can both remember, I can't recall the names of the other two Freak Bros. Did the other two actually have names and why don't I know them? I could just do a Google but sometimes a spirited level of ignorance without the extra burden of holding onto unnecessary facts and snippets of useless information is the best way to be. If I was the spiritual or cod-philosophical type I might even say something along the lines of "but the scriptures tell us ... the longer you live the less you need to know" (unless it's guitar chords).