Dr Who Shoes

Traveling isn't easy and arriving is worse but why is it that I am forever wearing the shoes of Dr Who? The David Tennant Dr Who too. No other part of me has anything at all to do with Dr Who. I have not watched an episode for years and yet these shoes testify to other stranger things. There may be a lack of control out there.

We were bathed in a strange green light. A beam from afar. Some saw golden sparks of golden fire. I'm not a religious person. It was last night when a falling asteroid nearly hit our car. Our car was on the road and not in space. My shoes were safely at home but my feet were in the car wearing other shoes. Hardly a coincidence. I tapped the accelerator pedal. The rest of the journey was uneventful, as I later told the puzzled young army officer back at base; "The skies shone like cathode ray tubes, just for a moment."

What if you travel forward in time, do something and then return to the past and do that exact same thing but accidentally? It could be something as simple as a simple spelling mistake or a piece of bad handwriting. Hardly unusual these days. Nobody can execute decent handwriting anymore, not even the pious monks or bankers. You should see the letters I get. Then I look down and see the shoes that I'm wearing. Quite unexpected. I wonder who's shoes they may be. I'll never truly know. 

All of their operations are tricky, requiring dexterity, nerve and what some may describe as pure pluck. The design concepts we work with are sure to fail me at some point. Why have they never fixed the cloaking circuit on the TARDIS that keeps it stuck as a blue police box from the 1950s? There are so many other looks it could assume. All of that makes no sense to me either. I'm thinking script writer's block and production costs v viewer's expectations and tradition. 

For example: Upon opening the heavy door I was greeted by this ...

Art is Everywhere

Our House

"Preparando la tavola"(c. 1888) 

    Olio su tela del pittore danese Carl Vilhelm Holsoe. (1864-1916):

 

Lunch time and it's tuna noodles for me and tuna bagels for Ali, that's how we seem to survive these days. Mustn't grumble though. The storms of life pass over one and all and sometimes cut the power if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. No noodles or toasty bagels for you.

Vimes Economics

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Some wise words from the pen of Terry Prachett. They don't publicly teach this particular theory but I'm certain that it's a fundamental part of how modern business operates and how political strategy is forged to support it. It also masks the true facts of inflation and product pricing and sizing; some of the many levers that companies use to maximize returns. Jack Monroe has statistically demonstrated this quite effectively in recent times. 

Taj Mahal & Ry Cooder

As the title suggests here's Taj Mahal and Ry Cooder playing "Hooray Hooray" in Ry Cooder's front room. Something to cheer up your day. Lots of interesting musical notes getting bundled together with a great bit of backing from a makeshift drum kit. Time well spent.

Ambushed

 

In the so called real world absurdity has become normal as the musings, desperate mumbles and piss poor excuses of our pathetic Tory rulers are exorcised and lampooned on a daily basis. I quite like this one.

Victim of AI

When the key making robot in B&Q tells you your fortune, or at least is intuitive enough to know roughly what might be going on in your head. Turns out the robot is extremely good at copying keys too, though it is it's chosen profession so I expected that. We had quite an interesting conversation but I cant recall the details. I think he/she may have wiped a few of my memories during the process. Three keys and a cleaned up mind for £10. I'll be back for the complete valet.

Monday Morning

The soft machine speaks: Probably a faulty sensor, carbon on the valves, a loose connection even. Typical Monday.

Internet Scavenger

All hail the beauty of a life lived in monochrome without the tyranny of time and colour bearing down upon it. 

Microscoped Oxygen

When the world is running down you make the best of whatever Rory Stewart is saying. The shatteringly bad news is that the fragile supplies of oxygen in Earth's garden of oxygen are running out. I've been conducting tests in the spare room and it turns out that the blue globs of CO2 and used chewing gum are depleting the breathable atmosphere (see illustration above) at a rate of knots. Humans and animals and plants etc. please note. More brackets coming ... (As you might expect nobody is listening). 

My research is incomplete but basically I'm just repeating something we all knew to be true in the 1970s. In fact the Groundhogs made an album all about the problems of pollution and sustained public apathy, it was called "Who Will Save the World?"  We all understood the message then (well the album went to about No.19 in the charts) but as usual we failed to act. A Labour government was in power at the time but they were riven by their own internal problems and battles with the Trades Unions. The weather was mostly dull, the beer watery and that influenced attitudes.

When I was an optimist: In my own head I had assumed that Joni Mitchell would eventually become US President and that things would sort themselves out and there would be outbreaks of kindness and honesty everywhere. In the UK I also imagined Ian Dury would be PM and that politics might take on a more self effacing style of humour and attitude. Based on this imaginary evidence I think I understand why we are somewhat adrift at the moment and why music and media stars are a bit unreliable when it comes to attaining positions of political leadership.

Cats Sitting

No text (apart from these words) and no drama.

Bill Murray on TV

After what seems like a short but lengthy spell of self imposed itinerant eternity we've returned to our renovated house complete with a renovated TV. It's time to relax in front of the big screen. For some reason Channel 4 is championing battered looking actor Bill Murray and his cellist pal as they are playing gigs here and there. As some kind of career change it makes the news in a day mostly filled with the usual tripe and self inflicted misery. 

That's my tired out feet at the bottom of the picture, supported by some surgical device pretending to be furniture. Because today was a moving day we feasted on fish and chips as is the local custom (I was taught never to begin a sentence with "because", this must be the first time I've done such an unspeakable thing since 1967). Now I almost feel free from the puritan curse of a dour Scottish education.

Final Thoughts

FFS. I guess I'm politically naive, I expect better things from people. Straight lines to be drawn between things. Simple arguments rather than complicated ones. Getting to the point etc. Being transparent enough so that the general public will at least understand where you're coming from and going to. But modern politics isn't like that, if it ever was.

The SNP have a strategy but it's not clear, no matter what they say because they don't indulge in straight talking (OK maybe they're not so bad with Covid). They have become a closed shop, a machine and I'm done with that sort of thing. The rot began in 2014, it's not stopped and it will get worse. They are weak, distracted and mostly self serving, careers before country etc. Mr Rushdie puts in well enough.

I can't be bothered anymore. None of this really matters. 😕

New Planets

 

While we slept they erased the known solar system and replaced it with an exact replica (apart from the fact that it's quite different). You may have experienced some mild discomfort or turbulence as this occurred. There are reports of injuries and damage to equipment. An official apology was published at the time but no one was ever named as being responsible for the turmoil. 

Understanding this new media based universe will now become part of the normal school syllabus and curriculum so that a consistent view of this re-imagined reality can be upheld. The UK government fully supports this change of view and has described it as being in line with their own rapidly forming chaotic ideology.

Want Want

Enjoyable things can happen to you, just be ready to look out for them.

An inspired and original piece of artwork by one of my grand daughters.

Want Want rice crackers, a small gift passed on from our Chinese neighbours because we took a parcel in for them.

Citadels of the Mind

Everybody lives somewhere but mostly we live in our minds. It all happens there. It happens there a lot more than it does in the real world. That's the power of the powerful mind. Books, films and plays have been written about this sort of thing and as I don't really know what I'm talking about here you might want to do your own research.

360 Reality Audio

Oh really? 360 Reality Audio is a new immersive music experience that uses Sony's object-based 360 Spatial Sound technologies. Individual sounds such as vocals, chorus, piano, guitar, bass and even sounds of the live audience can be placed in a 360 spherical sound field, giving artists and creators a new way to express their creativity. Listeners can be immersed in a field of sound exactly as intended by artists and creators. Music content created in this new format for 360 Reality Audio can be enjoyed through compatible music streaming services.

Enlightenment ...

 ... and a boiler gone wonky. The universe is a serious place. There's pressure and there's not enough pressure. Not enough can mean the failure of the central heating system and oops, now you're caught out. The manufacturer's instructions are gobbledygook, the installer's tiny pamphlet, hidden in the hatch, is incomprehensible, you've no choice  but to contact your virtual technical support team out there on YouTube. There's always an 11 minute video (but it'll ramble and be tough to follow), some South African bloke with a bad accent with intrusive background music or a 1:35 minute snappy alternative. Choose the one that gets to the point, you don't need travelogue with a wonky boiler. You just need to know what two tiny taps to turn to refill the pressure system and move that little dial back up to 1 Bar (1.5 Bar if you feel like taking the risk of a full on kitchen explosion). A tweak and fumble here and there. It's all over in a few seconds (?). The things fixed and I didn't even bother to like, comment or subscribe. I'm a bad person.

L’empire des lumières

L’empire des lumières will be auctioned in March and looks set to be the highest price paid for a work by René Magritte, bidding is estimated to reach at least £45m. I'm so tempted to throw my hat into the ring on this one, possibly by means of some leverage restructuring deal, a crowd funder project, an elabourate pyramid scheme or an on-line raffle. 

If you're interested in this little enterprise by all means make a contribution (details via DMs (Doc Martins)) or post a comment and my people will happily get in contact with your people, eventually.

Gilded Palace of Sin

 

Beach combing by the pale moonlight has it's limitations. The flotsam and jetsam is often obscured by shadows and criminal acts of misspelling. As a result we found nothing apart from our feet. Meanwhile the local hostelries remain dull and unvisited, some closed completely as we endure the limbo of a closed season and the UK's economic fuck-wittery on a grand scale. Victims mutter in anger and prepare plans for soft revolutions that never come. I hear the voices. The glittering palace of entertainment, illustrated above and lapped by the incoming tide's grey ooze, was also closed but the last person there had clearly forgotten to switch off the lights. You just can't get the staff these days. 

It's not all doom and gloom though, the road works, in their third full month are coming along nicely and the traffic calming measures have ensured traffic stays away. That is apart from the traffic (Ford Fiesta STs mainly) that seems intent on crossing coastal grassland presumably in a late night attempt to keep the rabbit numbers down. The Just Eat drivers also add some colour to the pulse of the streets, every conversation is loud but no doubt necessary as the troop's rations are delivered in good time for whatever Netflix stuff is tickling the hungry customers. 

Now we're home, digesting a stir fry and feeding medicine to eager cats. That was Tuesday night's stroll, pretty much as it happened.