Monday, April 29, 2024
Temu Trousers
It turns out that choosing to wear a pair of Temu trousers and using a Temu high pressure garden hose nozzle at the same time may not be a good combination of choices. Temu is of course a complete nuisance and a conscience botherer, however I've still made a few low risk/low price purchases that have been surprisingly OK. To be fair the hose nozzle actually works well enough, the fault was in the joining connector (not a Temu product) that came apart during the high pressure wash process. A big splash followed on. My Temu sourced joggers (of questionable quality) were soaked and so the car and patio cleaning task came to an abrupt halt. For some reason I put the two products together as if they were creating some form of flimsy universal retribution, as you might well expect. Then it started to rain.
Sunday, April 28, 2024
Curry Police
From the inner kingdom of Rosyth via Fife Jammer's photo service and spyware. Two police bikes at the end of the alley by the Co-op. Don't even breathe if you're a baddie. They may be on a stake out or waiting for some abnormal load to escort along the highway. Perhaps they're hoping to catch some red blooded, loco speedsters heading for the motorway. They might just be on their lunch break and discussing what have from the menu of the nearby Indian restaurant and who's turn it is to pay. Do the police actually pay for things like that these days? At one time everything was "on the house". Incidentally restaurant is one of those words that I can never spell correctly first time ... there are a few others. Oops, another is incidentally. This is bit of a rabbit hole. I'm going to stop typing now. Too risky.
Saturday, April 27, 2024
Sticky
What's brown and sticky? Yes it's a stick. Here's one I planted earlier. Well quite a few weeks ago and so far it remains a stick and not the apple tree I was hoping for. I check it every day and any progress is slow enough to look pretty much invisible. Maybe I should talk to it and offer encouragement. I've fed it and watered it and so on. It may be dead. The autumn apple crumble I was expecting to enjoy looks unlikely at the moment.
Thursday, April 25, 2024
South Queensferry Daily Photo
New piece of garden furniture. Turned out to be a difficult build for numerous reasons. Still not complete or in situ.
Tuesday, April 23, 2024
Even My Small Guitar Looks Big On Me
This fake guitar has nine and a half fake machine heads but I didn't bother to count them. Too many knobs and so on. How come AI doesn't know what a guitar looks like? There's quite few out there on the internet. I'm in the huff with AI. It's just not intelligent enough. That's because it was built by humans and not our alien overlords. Fallible, weak, complicated humans. Alternatively I should perhaps stop using what we in Scotland call "Cooncil AI". As George Harrison might have almost sung "Even my small guitar looks big on me, as it gently weeps, there in the naughty corner, doing nothing in particular."
Monday, April 22, 2024
Nothing is Really Real
More of those ceaseless philosophical points to consider. The unbridled power of the influencers grows on unchecked (and if you're fortunate - unnoticed).
Things to do, some of which might be already done: Empty the dishwasher. Empty the tumble drier. Sort out the cold chicken. Mind your head. Switch off the lights. Put out the solitary milk bottle. Look for things that may be lost. Recycle. Paint garden furniture and then assemble it. Await a dry day. Visit Bo'ness for various reasons. Check the guitar strings stockpile. Tidy up. Tidy down. Tidy sideways. Double check things. Worry about earth's three body problem. Procrastinate. Stop making pointless lists.
Sunday, April 21, 2024
Sleeping with Plato
Zippy the cat occasionally sleeps with Plato the finger puppet philosopher. Other philosophers are available but Plato seems to be quite popular at the moment. That is all you really need to know.
Saturday, April 20, 2024
Magical Shoes
Once upon a time there was a boy who bought a pair of Dunlop welly-shoes from Amazon*. At first they seemed like ordinary waterproof shoes and nothing more. However after a short while he realised that when wearing these shoes he could sense what might be in the ground right below his feet. Through the shoes he could detect tree roots, large stones or bricks, running water in pipes or streams and occasionally buried metal objects, even treasure maybe. Yes there was always buried or hidden treasure to be found. It made going out and about very interesting.
If he stepped on something that triggered the feeling of treasure he would stop and if it was possible try to dig up the object with a trowel or small spade from his backpack. Never make a scene or fuss, act casual. Now, having dug up loads of lost gold, silver and other treasures he's a millionaire but he can never tell anyone as he'll likely get done for tax evasion or some such other crime. He still wears the shoes but not so often these days, they do look a bit naff don't they?
How do these shoes work anyway? Ordinary shoes don't find buried items and telepathically inform the wearer. Well I just don't know their secret, that's all I can say but if you ever get a fully working pair from Amazon then good for you.
*Terms and conditions may apply.
Friday, April 19, 2024
M&S Box of Delights
George seeks solace and tranquility from within a repurposed cardboard box. Here, for him, the outside world no longer exists; no pesky cat siblings, annoying humans, leaves puffed along by the wind, erratic bees, noisy pedestrians in the street or the rude spitting of the rain can get to him. In the background some random YouTube cat channel whistles and burps serenely and all is peaceful, almost, in his precious cardboard sanctuary.
Thursday, April 18, 2024
In the Blink of an Eye
Anyone know the name of the famous Scottish punk rocker with an out grown but distinct Mohican hair style? Can only be Hawkeye the Noo.
West Lothian Daily Photo
A short circular tour of the wild west via it's pristine garden centres, bistros (did you know that the word bistro is Italian slang for "be strong"?) and temporary traffic light collections. We came close to the purchase of four (yes 4) snails for a fiver. These are not any ordinary snails, they act as mini hoovers and clean up your garden's water features. A sign written in black Sharpie confirmed this. Currently mulling over the ethical questions I have about setting snails significant hygiene tasks in the garden.
I liked my coffee machine coffee and the free cake from the people at Dobbies too. Our paperwork was correct. I sat there in a big basketwork chair and laughed at the world (well not exactly). I could rant about roads, weather and things in general but to be honest it was all fun all the way and a lovely day out. Just my better half and me. Strange to think that such a wonderful place exists and is a few mere spectral minutes from our front door. A bit like Narnia must be, were it only real.
Tuesday, April 16, 2024
Everything is Uncomfortable
The feeling that your earthly footprints are too large and unable to be deleted (or even cleaned) isn't nice but it's awkwardly familiar to us. We are the problem. Birmingham artist Foka Wolf knows how to disturb a person's peace and makes a good point. That's art for you. Put it up and make people think for a bit before they move on to think of something else. The thing is, are the kids really innocent and at what point does anyone ever grow up? It seems that Keith Richards never really managed it. Gigging as a life style model now.
Monday, April 15, 2024
Morning After
I experienced exceptionally long shadow legs this morning, something to do with the time of year and us hurtling around the sun at the speed of a 43 bus. Yesterday turned out to be a good day. The gig at Leith Docker's Club went well, great wee audience all up for a singalong and a spontaneous jig or two. It was good fun and the band were buzzing, thankfully mostly for non electrical incident reasons. Big thanks to MW for the piece of work below.
Saturday, April 13, 2024
Feathery Stroking
Dusted and cleaned the old PA and monitor gear properly today. This is in addition to the other PA so these will provide the stage monitor set up. Shake down sound check kind of gig happening on Sunday. A hoover, scissors and some feathery stroking was required. More fluff attached than there's fluff on a fluffy cat. Then the endless testing of endless leads and cables. I did this a few weeks ago but decided to double check again today. I'm mildly obsessive. Everything (amps, boards, leads etc. not pictured because they are all tidily stored in some cases and boxes) seems to be working.
Leith Dockers Club tomorrow:
Thursday, April 11, 2024
Jellycat
This really isn't about anything: Following on from yesterday's on-line shopping moan I've now experienced another purveyor of expensive distractions but for (mostly) younger people. Many things are there, some iconic: cute, cuddly and plush based around stuffed toys and accessories and it's all the rage apparently. Everything is "adorable". Not very cheap either. Shop until your card maxes out or your Apple Pay money tree withers here. Turns out that shopping is the new shopping.
Wednesday, April 10, 2024
Vintage Clothing Mafia
More first world problems: You get days where you're just bombarded with a new set of on-line advertisements that seem to come from nowhere but are somehow familiar. Traders and sellers that you've never heard of home in on your precious little corner of the internet and pound you with their often interesting but generally overpriced* wares. Today's offerings are mostly shirts, jackets, French hats (?) and loafers and on and on.
Are they exotic, cool and expensive? Are you just a little intrigued and tempted? Up to a point I suppose I am but I'm more quizzically impressed and annoyed at whatever random click or hover that I might have made, quite innocently, that has led me to this intrusive and destabilizing barrage and how that algorithm just keeps on pumping out the sweet and themed consumer juices well beyond it's tolerable shelf life. And no, sorry but I do not wish to have sex with your website ... ever.
Tuesday, April 09, 2024
Harvest of the Souls
Monday, April 08, 2024
Use This?
If we ever go for a vinyl greatest hits collection (this being highly unlikely for obvious reasons) this cover mock up has some potential. Original image found courtesy of CS's Instagram.
Cats having their tea. Hungry but still easily distracted after a healthy dose of fresh air from the Firth of Forth region of central Scottishland.
Thursday, April 04, 2024
Eat Beautiful
Better late than never I discover fast food Asian style at itsu. The strap line "Eat Beautiful" is aiming maybe too high as it's not quite what the entire experience is about. It's a high street food machine. Having said that I've not explored the whole menu and probably never will. What I did try was fine, touch screen ordered, served up hot and quickly and it looked and tasted good. Reasonably priced? Maybe not too bad for a quick meal served up in the middle of a rainy Edinburgh.