Thursday, August 12, 2021

Misheard Yoga



The vital question that no one is asking is - is the extreme Connecticut accent complicating the already complicated science of Yoga?

I suspect that this particular session is not suitable for beginners: 

"Yoga and walnuts. Practice ton for ten minutes. Leave your regular life behind. Knees stacked up into your hips. Leave your regular life behind. Cash care here. Take your gaze inwards. Exhale at the back. Inhale cow poles. Exhale for the cat posse."

"Lateral!"

"Rise, inhale for cow poos. Wide to the thighs of your mat. Format to the earth or lower your blanket. Wreck your hits from side to side. Brain stickiness here. Face the lawn. Reach down to acquaint a gentle stretch. Gucci if you're tall then take your ears to the arch."

"Break into the straights!"

"Rub your knee into your chocolate. Break into the step-side, coin more inhale. Extend bull legs outside. Mink your bright elbow and hug your knee into your chops. Find your brats. Slow down - lengthen brats. Head loose and take on inhale. Move over your mask. Give yourself a vaccine massage. Whistle your soul." 

"You're welcome to stay here. And relax."

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