West Lothian Floaters

Strolling along the footpath of the Union Canal today, low sun and vanilla drizzle. Chilly indeed. The canal is named after the infamous union of West West Lothian and East West Lothian that took place (on this day) in 1812ish, so unreliable versions of history tell us. Prior to that it was simply known as Onion Canal because of the numerous onion plantations in the area. For a long while West Lothian was the home of serious onion smuggling across this part of northern Europe until the Calvinists poisoned the soil. The other notorious and illegal union of clowns, chumps and parliaments (1707) has of course nothing to do with the name Union here. 

Many strong willed, brave and reckless tattooed people have chosen to live upon these turbulent waters in narrow boats and canoes. These boat people are sometimes known as "Floaters" as in the sci-fi genre of beach combing. Some venture ashore at times to plant great field fulls of crops such as iceberg-blue-lettuce, sweet Chinese tobacco and liquorice root. While living in makeshift yurts along the canal banks these "Floaters" harvest their crops, steal nearby donkeys, burn damp logs and generally mess with the heads of local old people. They are story tellers and mystics. Their vegetative goods are then sold on at nearby markets, mostly to American tourists eagerly searching for recreational drugs and their family roots in what they term their "homeland" or "old country".

The canal winds it's way from Fountainbridge in the charming district of Edinburghshire to somewhere out there beyond the shape of Falkirk. No one I know has ever gone that far into the dark west and lived to tell the tale. The outline of Scotland and it's many warring counties and tribes has never been fully understood or recognized. Viewed from space it remains a vague and fuzzy enigma. Overall the Romans, who actually built the Onion Canal as a watery wall, seem to have done the best job of providing a ruling regime that at least worked for a time in a few regions. They are long gone now but fondly remembered in our many fish and chip and pizza establishments.

Heading westwards on the Onion Canal.