Thursday, May 29, 2025

Fake Plastic Trees

 


Out and about in the East of Scotland: I admit that for a few seconds I was fooled but once I had got myself together (as the younger folks might say) I realized that I had simply encountered one of either China, Israel or Russia's carefully placed and camouflaged not so secret listening stations suitably disguised as an innocent indigenous tree of some sort. 

Thanks to meeting strict award winning environmental and design guidelines you can see how well it blends in with the surrounding soft, green and pleasant West Lothian countryside on a braw May day. Worried about intrusive fascist states? Just relax, think daft and happy thoughts and talk any kind of lively Edinburghshire bollocks on your phone or enter them in the comments, then let the AI bots in Texas and Tel Aviv try to make some sense of it. 

Once you get a little closer to the "tree" you can see where they put in the AAA batteries and their multiple USB connected connections feeding back to Air Force One (the updated Qatar "Kamikaze" model), BBC Scotland and the Vatican's dungeons and torture gardens.

As a warning though, please don't get too close, it may be protected by a state of the art Golden Dome. The local MSP and the council are well aware of this fixture (a site of outstanding scientific interest) and have assured nearby residents that the access road will certainly not be maintained unless a new set of speed bumps are deemed to be necessary.

1 comment: