I've just about had enough of American Pies and those old time neighbourhood wars:
So I'm exploring the eternal question that keeps us all awake at night, (even in daytime 😉) these days anyway. If Britain did go to war in my lifetime (a reasonably real possibility, given the current shit show), who would I trust as a wartime Prime Minister? Who would rally the troops, maintain morale, and lead a nation like ours if we were on a war footing?
What person in the current crop of UK politicians would be the best choice? When you look at the runners, it’s a pretty dodgy field. Slackers, sycophants, and shysters mostly, all lost without their lobbyist handlers. I can’t think of anyone who, as a frontline politician, strikes me as being up to such a task. Starmer it seems is a completely spineless dick; he couldn’t/wouldn’t punch a pensioner's bus ticket. I could be wrong of course - but we’re most likely in trouble. Ugh! What a shower. It may be for the best having our Chinese masters colonize us.
As an alternative and possibly more absurd exercise, I looked at our cats and wondered which one of them might make a good wartime PM:
1. George - reckless but often strangely timid and nervous. Quite curious, good observer, quick to react, unfazed by most people, a bit of a wanderer. Likes to maintain his own territory and borders (good skills). Urinates effectively. Sleeps in a nomadic fashion, a few nights here and a few more there. Very friendly when he wants to be.
2. Zippy - great at jumping but not tree climbing. Elegant mover. Confident when out alone and away from our garden. Acrobatic when going up onto roofs. Returns at high speed when called in for food. Likes to sleep in a box or also likes to sleep where the humans are. Proven hunter / killer: birds, mice, shrews, and butterflies.
3. Bungle - slow but steady. Not fussed about travelling too far but will climb trees easily and quickly if required. Likes to camp out by the bird feeders or in the hedge - mostly doing nothing. Not worried by rain or bad weather. Certainly the muddiest cat of the three after being outside for any length of time. Paws like dirty paint brushes. Takes her own time. Really likes a tummy tickle and a stiff brush.
Hard to pick a winner from a strong but eclectic field. They're all aborable but in the role of PM ...
Perhaps the cats would form a coalition?
Maybe these are all the wrong questions and observations. Being realistic and thinking strategically, it’s more about who would get us the best peace deal after either:
a) our annihilation (not sure how that looks or why we'd need a PM), or
b) a quick surrender when all the conflicted Brits just say “fuck it” and try to walk away (kind of understandable TBF), or
c) a humiliating but not too devastating conventional military defeat.
Get Mark Carney back into the fold (that's the fold that he was never in). He actually has balls ...
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