Egg Mountain

One person's egg mountain misery is another person's reasonable and sustainable egg supply situation. It's a tricky thing to get right. Supply v demand. Appetite v abstention. Feast v famine. Whatever. All numbers and conclusions are abstract.

It's never easy to know where you are with eggs (hen's eggs I mean, forget the other kinds). Sometimes perfect; in a Denny's in Key West, over easy with pancakes, syrup and bacon on a warm Gulf of Mexico morning. Then in that WWII Brad Pitt film with the tank, Fury, the scene with the fried egg, set in that particularly disturbed house, ugh! It haunts me still. Eggs can tip from brilliance to disgusting in the blink of an eye. 

Eggs. Like some alien thing. You have to be in the right mood. The mind has to be settled correctly. Keep it clean. Avoid things that may distract or push a negative image or feeling. You're walking on eggshells. A crazy image in itself. Develop a physically and psychologically sound system of defence to optimize your egg preparations and consumption. Learn how to be wrong. Then fix it. Too many tough recipes. Stay simple.

Fried eggs are never easy. The very hot oil, crinkle theory is all good and well but it can go so badly wrong so quickly. A rubbery textured white streaked with sizzled orange bubbles is a bad thing. Boiled and poached have their own problems but we seldom speak of them. Never trust anyone who says, "He/she is such a poor cook, they couldn't even boil an egg." Don't believe it's all that simple. Not if you ever want to see and experience eggs done properly. Idiots can't do eggs. They* also serve them on cold plates. Scrambled egg on a cold plate is a cruel form of torture but remember the microwave can be your friend - for scrambled egg and the late, great plate warming ritual.

*I have a mental hit list of offending eateries, some nearby, some not so.

Back to our personal egg mountain. A seasonal problem. That's what we're telling you. We're getting somewhere. On top of it but not literally. Every different "egg" day presents a new but familiar challenge. We rise, we fall, we rise again. 

Never forget the holy trinity. Shell, white and yolk. Three things that are somehow one. Or is that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit? I just don't know for sure. It's all out there if you care to look.