Quiet life

1. Guy Trumper ‏@guytrumper3h

   This weekends results: dogs 2 - 0 Guy, Pigeons 0 - 1 Guy. At least I won one battle this weekend.

    from Aberdeen City, Aberdeen City

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2. John Barclay ‏@Johnbarclay12h

   @guytrumper :- ( fighting dogs is never good, no real pigeon experience just squirrels from a safe distance

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3. Guy Trumper ‏@guytrumper55m

   @Johnbarclay1 I was evicting the pigeon from the loft. 1 dog attacked me and cut my leg the other tripped me up when I was running. #animals

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4. John Barclay ‏@Johnbarclay131m

   @guytrumper it's nasty when they collaborate against you, A&E needed or do you know a nurse? How did the dogs get into the loft?

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5. Guy Trumper ‏@guytrumper29m

   @Johnbarclay1 tis but a scratch. Dogs are crafty at hide and seek

    from Aberdeen City, Aberdeen City

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6. John Barclay ‏@Johnbarclay123m

   @guytrumper and getting into confined spaces by the sound of things.

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A quiet but chilly Sunday in a dozy part of Fife: made a bacon roll breakfast, cycled out along the coast (filming the sights as I travelled thanks to a handy bike cam), chopped logs and kindling, surfed the surf, chuckled at the Sunday Herald headline, ate soup and crackers, fed the birds, pruned the rampant roses and cut up a Christmas tree. No dog major bites either.

How the Japanese Society for Artificial Intelligence imagine robots that provide domestic help might look in the near future. You've a way to go there Japan, (or maybe there's some ironic piece of explanation written in Japanese across the cover text that's beyond me).

Victor and Victim

The words victor and victim can be traced back to the Latin root where the term "Vic" was used to describe a primitive but effective alcohol based nasal spray used by the early Romans. How it was ever translated forward into it's modern use I've no idea. I presume that it's something to do with the Addams Family and the WWII based comic strip paper. So early this morning Victor the Cat seems to have done away with Victim the Mouse in the conservatory (very Cluedoesque) and thereafter placed the dead rodent on top of a table where the poor victim looked very much alive if a little immobile. It's not clear in the photo but Victim's corpse was also covered in sprinkles of Christmas glitter. Bizarre. "Investigations are ongoing" said a spokesperson from the saddle of a bicycle.

Tony Macaroni v Lego v Mystery

Food: I can't quite understand why the staff in Tony Macaroni's insist in pretending that they are Italian when they are really from Cowdenbeath or Poland. Maybe that's the best way to get an Equity Card these days when the Edinburgh Fringe is asleep and the pubs are empty. Maybe they've spent too much time cleaning the toilets where a loop of Parliamo Italia plays constantly, perhaps it's in the small print of the zero hours contract or perhaps the Scottish/English dialect is just breaking down into some pan European kind of jumble that is triggered by nearby food and national colours. The burger was pretty big and pretty tasty though and I heard good things said about the steak from the other side of the table.

Rock'nRoll: Lego albums covers, Roxy Music's "Country Life", Led Zep's "Houses of the Holy" and the Stones "Let it Bleed" rendered in sympathetic Lego. Genius.

Mystery: I've absolutely no idea what's going on in this photo that I unearthed earlier. It seems to have been taken by a rather tall person.

70

Predictably enough, as all birthday's once established are, Jimmy Page is 70 today. Quite remarkable really. More things you probably know already via this link.

American Hustle

I'm not a regular cinema goer, as if that matters. Anyway this is a funny and entertaining film for grown ups and people in general, I saw it today and I now understand what a "science oven" is. I'd even recommend this to friends or people I don't particularly like because that's really no way to be in life. 

Cicada 2014 (yawn!)

If you are at all interested the link leads here for 2014.

1231507051321 ‏@1231507051321

5 Jan

http://i.imgur.com/zN4h51m.jpg 

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The first problem you encounter is when you have to decide quite what kind of madness it is you have. Eventually you may identify it, give it a name or form or at the very least put your sweaty finger on it. Once you've done that and got it in your sights as it were you promptly deny it altogether. Denial of fact or reality is of course a basic form of madness itself. I seem to be stuck. I guess that is the second problem.

Now for some good news, the new camera I ordered from Amazon arrived today, can't wait to try it out.

Time Travellers don't Tweet

1. @LinaTaghreed4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They're Lying Low on Social Media http://mashable.com/2014/01/03/time-travelers-social-media/#:eyJzIjoidCIsImkiOiJfa3I3eDIxNW1tdWxobXkzaXFudXF5MjF5azNfIn0 … #timetravel #facebook @mashable

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2. Tech Tech Buzz ‏@TechTechBuzz4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They’re Laying Low on Social Media: If time travelers do walk among us, they’re doing... http://bit.ly/1diikrE 

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3. money make money usd ‏@googleseobaidu4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They're Laying Low on Social Media: What's This?By Kurt Wagner2014-01-04 01:05:31 UTC... http://bit.ly/1l9JGHn 

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4. GR8socialmedia ‏@GR8socialmedia4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They're Laying Low on #SocialMedia #Tech http://on.mash.to/1e1H20X 

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5. Tim Spalding ‏@librarythingtim4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They're Laying Low on Social Media http://mashable.com/2014/01/03/time-travelers-social-media/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link … — Has anyone searched for aliens on social media yet?

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6. Leeah Otis ‏@leeahotis4 Jan

   #socialmedianews If Time Travelers Exist, They... http://mashable.com/2014/01/03/time-travelers-social-media/?utm_medium=feed&utm_source=rss …

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7. Mashable ‏@mashable4 Jan

   If Time Travelers Exist, They're Laying Low on Social Media http://on.mash.to/1av1fKo 

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8. Ben Robertson ‏@BenHRobertson4 Jan

   Do time travellers exist? This is an actual academic paper about tracking time travelers online http://buff.ly/1dtX8m0  #theory #research

Time Machine operating system in detail

Useful to know that despite being offered the opportunity of a subtle entrapment via their give away Tweets, most (or indeed all) Time Travellers refuse to be caught up in Twitter or other social media type traps. This is probably because in the future Tweeting will be as much used and remembered as Morse Code or Semaphore are today (except for sailors). It's also a bit of a worry that in this random sample of Tweets nobody can spell traveller correctly.

Obvious.

Sub-chaos

Why is it you wake up one day and electronic devices, apps or software that were formerly useful and stable suddenly stop? Apple, Samsung, Sony, Google, Facebook, BT, Twitter or HP; they all do it without explanation. "Can't locate the network, error 404, insufficient memory, data cannot be found, different format, instruction not understood, not recognised, file missing." The list is endless but worst of all is their stubborn refusal to carry out the action they did easily and smoothly yesterday - like printing, uploading, downloading, having a set screen format, showing you the default settings you agreed.

Back in the 90's we patched and debugged programmes and thought that all this conflicted shit would stop any day soon. We championed collaboration and sharing. That never did happen. It's looking to me like a complex conspiracy (even as I type this the Blogger error bar is telling me "an error has occurred" by adding a stupid pink stripe to the top of my screen, no proper explanation is offered or a solution, there's just this "error" somewhere. It suggests that it may involve the spell checker but that's still working, WTF!) that confirms that the universe is an imperfect place where everything is at odds with everything else; incompatibility rules and chaos wants to take us over. It would if it could but the trouble with chaos is that it can't organise itself sufficiently to do this (it is chaotic after all) so we have sub-chaos; normal life and irritation and relentless error messages.

For the record: Samsung refuses to upload photos to Picasa despite doing it for the last nine months with no problem. iPhoto now accepts Samsung Jpegs despite rejecting them for...nine months. You are complete and incompetent bastards, whoever you are!

In car selfie

Somewhere outside a branch of B&Q people are taking selfies from inside of their cars while sending texts and trying to remember quite what it is they are there for. A dark and steady rain is falling. Today's purchase was a new lock for the bathroom door. The previous locking system having capitulated in the the great and slightly drunken pre-New Year festivities late one night or early one morning. It was a long story that I may tell another day but thankfully the duvet has been renewed and some order restored.

Out on the river those panic merchants at SEPA are warning of imminent flood risks and secondary pestilence. It's all across the web, the modern media and the East Coast seeking out it's potential victims. We stepped out in our waterproofs into the mayhem and hysteria at 1630 to check the necessary levels. The sea was as calm as Galilee used to be, albeit the waters were lapping higher up towards the road and other people's houses. Comforted by the littered and milky waters and the viscous tidal patterns we retired for some leftover pasta engineering works and Saturday wine; always the best of the week after Friday.

UnChristmased

Favourite Christmas picture (I'm not the daddy either).

There the deed is done, the once gay and proud Christmas tree lies naked in the back garden, the lights and tinsel are back in their boxes, the baubles and holly are rested in shoe boxes and old shopping bags. I'm experiencing a bloody great feeling of relief, a sense of decluttering and some smug satisfaction now that it's done. Christmas is fun and crazy and infuriating, I enjoy it but I'm well glad when it's all over and parceled up and away. Outside a storm is raging and the windows are rattling - winter holidays are ok most of the time but the extremes of the Scottish weather works against any bid to go outside or even empty the Hoover.

Today's post is my 2000th and marks the rough tenth anniversary of this blog (forget the other two running and stuttering in the background). Not the most interesting, prolific or regular of blogs and with many hits that come and then...go. I sometimes wonder where I'm going with this and when the plug will be pulled on this mode of "chucking lumps of rubbish into a black hole" communication or will it just die a slow and dignified death? Who knows, it's just one of those many manifestations of the marvels of chronic uncertainty that keeps us all going really.

TV Sherlock: finally got around to watching the return last night, not sure what to make of it yet, roll on Sunday's episode. David Blane seemed able to pull stunts to shock and entertain a little more effectively the other evening - no crimes were solved or prevented however.

Now down and out and in the garden.