Mount Everest

Awful to hear that four bodies were found amongst the trash collected on Mount Everest. I do wonder about "adventurers and thrill seekers" who queue up to climb the mountain (maybe this applies to any really grown up and angry mountain). What the fuck are they thinking? Mountains are dangerous places, do what you can manage, do what you can cope with. Don't try do to what might kill you and possibly kill the ones who come looking for you. End of rant from a reasonably safety conscious 64 year old who enjoys the outdoors up to a point.

This

This is an actual thing, by Coldwar Steve. The cover of Time. Unthinkable last year at this time.

Daily Cafe

Old School: The Powmill Milk Bar has not changed in 30 years, maybe more. Clunky and hardly elegant but not quite a greasy spoon. I went for the classic fried egg and haggis roll with a flat white, all for £5.50 and with really quick internet for hours of easy, endless amusement. Friendly staff and, as you might expect on a wet Wednesday, the clientele are mainly wrinkly Honda Jazz driving types i.e. over 60s. They take a long time to make their minds up making me wonder if they've ever been in a cafe before but then again quite what to eat may be their biggest decision of the day. Things I liked: the long well stocked bar and counter (as above), my tasty snack, the wifi and the ability to swing back on the wooden chairs. Didn't like: weird sticky tables, gungy toilets and the slightly gloomy look of the place. Anyway as I'm touring the area with my heavy workload I'll be back.

Strange spectacle

A strange spectacle yesterday. Just across the water the football ground at Bo'ness is on fire. Obvious tragedy for the club and it's supporters. From this distance it looks like some wartime battlefield scene.

LD Experience

This was fun: Pitched up yesterday for an off-road Land Rover driving experience up in the heart of damp and rural Perthshire. We began with coffee and biscuits in the loch-side retreat and then headed for the hills,the glens, steep hills and bumpy descents and the muddy swampy places were Land Rovers have their native and natural environment. Now I know what it takes to be a good off-road driver, basically buy a Land Rover, it does it all itself while you quietly hang on. Oh, but don't buy a white one second hand, they're the ones the off road schools use so beware.

How memories were...

... or how the magical properties of old prints and photographs can confuse and delude in a dangerous but pleasant way: 

This photo arrived in my Twitter feed today: "Blue Train, Scotland, 1960s". The striking thing is that everyone on the train looks relaxed, stylish and cool in a proper 60s way. Was it a set up, all preened and posed? A promotional shot for British Rail or some tourist flyer? Whoever posted it didn't think so, just another day on the train during some random Scottish summer, snapped at the right moment. A wonderful everyday moment.

The funny thing is that a photo like this plays on your mind and quickly starts to influence your memories (well mine). Despite the knowledge of my own experiences, it seems that the past was not only sunny and strangely colourful but people looked nice, behaved in a civilized way there was an obvious peaceful, simple happiness just about everywhere. Things were safe, clean and predictable and somehow better. The trains probably ran on time and you could get a seat. OK I know this is an illusion and total rubbish but if you're of a certain age and you look into this picture for a few moments you'll feel your own back pages and thoughts of the past start to blur, distort around the edges and just drift into a, dare I say, happier place.

None of this evidence based, it's all about feelings and a mild unconscious influence, perhaps just wishful thinking. Such is the power of a random image, reflected on and seen through rose tinted glasses which works quite well still, despite years of cynical black and white filtered observations.

View from the office

Whilst the actual view from the office (which of course isn't an office) isn't bad at all, the imaginary one is slightly better. Always good to have a vivid imagination that seeps across into reality. Perhaps I just dreamt it or maybe, under the influence of Rory Stewart's erstwhile leadership, I accidentally smoked some opium or had a piece smeared on a slice of dry toast. I though he might be a good Tory, a bit like how in WW2 films there's occasionally a good Nazi but they're still Nazis albeit they're conflicted. I also imagined that a cat had peed in my coffee cup, that wasn't so good mainly because the imagined part only became vivid once I'd drank the coffee. Then I imagined I was asleep and so the imagined parts became the dream thereby rendering them fully unreal and eventually totally forgotten, that's why I had to make this up. Meanwhile I saw Neil Young in a vision but somehow he was lacking in stature, he was of course an old man and clearly not 24 anymore but for some reason he was performing in an intimate walking concert on the approach road to the Forth Bridge. His ex-wife Peggy was there too but he wasn't bothered by this. It was a nice sunny day however. Then I awoke and had a cup of tea but in reality I was still asleep but had managed to type it all up. Typical start to the day I suppose. 

Hanging candles of Babylon

Candles captured after eating a substantial lunch at the almost fictional "Pillars of Hercules" shop and cafe. The herb garden is in the photo below. All quite nice for food and most of it clearly home grown. No actual candles were eaten at lunch time, maybe later though.

Lucky potato

Thanks to another of those irritating Smack-Chat filters here's me making both a serious and stupid face whilst listening to Scottish Labour leader Richard Leonard floundering around in a radio interview on the ever unreliable BBC. Note how whilst listening to Richard's Brexit based excuses for being unable to provide a clear message on anything I revert to my working class roots and doff a handy cloth cap and NHS issue specs. In my pockets are 20 Woodbine, three shillings and sixpence, some string, a hankie and a "lucky" potato. For those of you who do not know what a "lucky" potato actually is, well just count yourselves lucky. 

Shortly after listening to this interview and making light of some newsworthy and serious political matters I magically turned into a glum ginger cat.

Figures of fun

Conflicted: I like the yellow Scotland and am not surprised by the dumb-ass Brexit blues in the south but not sure how exactly that corresponds to a Mr Burns figure? Is Scotland like the head of Mr Burns and England and Wales are his body? What does it all mean? Simply chop the head from Mr Burns and all will be well? Or is it that our island(s) are just some laughable cartoon caricature of greed and ignorance regardless of whoever's side you're on. Hmm. Anyway, glad that's over and Scotland came out of it looking at least a little sensible and EU positive, just what's going to happen  next?

Nice to see that  the Sabbath loving Western Isles have yet to declare, welcome to the 21st century.

Guitar bingo

Caught indoors on a rainy day? Why not have a nice game of guitar scale bingo? Simple to take part in and only mildly infuriating for all the participants. The bingo caller, a musical expert, simply calls out a musical scale of some sort i.e. Harmonic Minor, Mixolydian, Major Pentatonic, Dorian or Diminished (there are many others that could be chosen) and the first guitarist to pull of a credible and clear lick only using notes in the appropriate scale wins a point. Points are of course lost or deducted for poor fingering (?) or just playing the same old stuff you always play using that Blues scale you got from the Bert Weedon book when you were 16. Tone is of course important but it's way too complicated to allocate scores for so forget it. Points are also deducted for any players who say things like "it's all in my fingers" and "I'm lost without a decent compressor" or "I've broken a nail".  You can also be disqualified for Jazzy noodling, super-fast skiderooing or pulling out a guitar slide from the back pocket of your jeans. Open D tuning is also frowned upon, not sure why. Please note: there are bonus points for any credible attempt at any Steely Dan line.

Euro Elections

As it's Euro Election day (nicely illustrated here by Cold War Steve (thank you)), I'm already planning my working day ahead and my late night, last minute trip to the polling station. Once there I fully intend to throw a virtual milkshake into the great voting machine and scribble a cross on a very long piece of paper. The political theatre and absurd comedy that we've grown to love and detest will then carry on in the background leaving us a quiet weekend. Then I'll probably forget about the whole thing until the results emerge on Monday. That's right the Scottish results are held back because the good people on our remote and strange wee island communities need to take a Sabbath break on Sunday so absolutely hee-haw happens apparently. Not a single black box is to be moved by man, woman or beast. Either that or suffer the wrath of God which I know everyone truly wants to avoid at this time, particularly now that things are so screwed up. The last thing we need is an upset God bearing down on us.

Another trippy piece

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I've had some kind of dream but I can't recall it. There are just a few bits remaining around the edge, beyond my grasp and slowly disintegrating as my head clears. This is of course a fairly common human experience, I'm hardly claiming anything unique here but in my opinion that feeling kind of fits the photo, which exists only as a rough illustration of what I just said. Of course I course I could simply be plummeting headfirst down the escape slide of some crash landed aircraft which hopefully is not on fire.

Trippy

Applying a Snapchat filter to household locations results in (fairly predictable) amusing results. As if Jackson Pollock had decided to come along and paint your bedroom, that is if he ever took up household decoration work as a bit of a lucrative sideline. Perhaps he did.

Graves of the Covenanters

Memorials and gravestones mark the violent deaths of bishops and covenanters in Fife. In fields and quiet woodland they illustrate the violence that took place on the pilgrim road to St Andrews in the 17th century. Robbery, assault, retribution and ambush were common it seems along this ancient highway. Now it's quiet and agricultural or wooded over with lazy tall trees and pink public paths. Cars crunch across gravel, picnics and held, dogs sniff and snuffle in the undergrowth. Close by there are many bodies buried, some known, some unknown. Tread carefully.

Cat reaction

Good black cat Gif, for those that like that sort of thing.

Eurotrash

Madonna wears a Saltire eye-patch to show solidarity with oppressed countries etc. etc.

Whilst I managed to avoid most of the Eurovision Song Contest I did catch Madonna's performance and the chaotic final scoring system. Both parts of the show I saw were high on camp, a lack of self awareness and numerous examples of poor judgment. Too much of everything. I felt conflicted over the whole over produced event, a boycott seemed like the right thing, just wreck the contest and show Israel what "we" actually think of their treatment of Palestinians but there's an awkward argument surrounding culture and politics that I kind of defer to.

Anyway I only watched 40 minutes or so of the pop-gloop so I don't feel too guilty this morning. I actually felt sorry for Madonna, she looked frail and "preserved" and her singing was off. Kindly critics blamed the fold back and techy vocoder stuff that was going on. No, she's just lost a bit of energy and ability and that happens, money and rehearsals can't fix everything. She's even a bit wobbly on those once famous dancing feet. She was also channeling that "dumb American in the Middle East" thing (see also dumb British person in the Middle East). She had a message, odd to hear Madonna say "wake up" to the world then pin small Israeli and Palestinian flags to her dancer's backs. The equivalent of throwing a milkshake I guess. I wonder if they'll retain some of her fee over this?

It all just jars a bit and of course the fawning and clumsy Israeli hosts struggled to deal with such a mega presence. Ugh! After the stilted and fabricated scoring system rose  expectations to a crescendo of cliche and tinsel a bloke called Duncan won, he was representing the Netherlands. His song has been a big hit all across Europe ... well over my head.

Meanwhile in Palestine, as the showbiz tack is dismembered in Tel-Aviv and Madonna continues to promote her new album,  fuck all has changed and Israel will remain the dominant aggressor and oppressor for the Palestinian people.

I've no idea...

...where this strange little cartoon came from, I suppose the message is that all that is gold and sticky and glittery isn't necessarily honey. It just might be a little more dangerous so read the label or check the contents first. Tigger seems to understand.

Baxter

Some extra animal responsibility for me this weekend, it's been fun so far. Here he is, waiting patiently for the rain to stop so that we might go out on some sort of walking adventure. Alas the rain persists and so we're stuck, talking to each other (?) and quietly watching the skies. The chances of rain (at the moment 100%) are due to reduce to 74%, then 65% then about 55%. These are not good numbers to have to break to a doggy friend when he's eager to go barn storming across the countryside. The thing is he'd go out whatever the weather, it's me and my good sense and self preservation that is the blocker on this. That and the fact that I'm not keen on clearing up the soggy, muddy debris that he'll bring home in his wake once the walk is over. So we wait, in the warm and dry.

State of things

One picture that pretty much sums up the present government's abject failure in everything. Some kind of funeral for "getting things done". Going nowhere, headless, feeble, divisive and ineffective and some might say that's their positive points. So it's not going to get better quickly, this is structural decay in full force, the collapse of good sense and reason and the rise of hectoring, bullying and empty jingoism all in place of an acceptance of the facts. Meanwhile in Scotland we're ... confused and frustrated. What to do?