Gasoline for Water

In keeping with the great folk/blues lyrical singing traditions i.e. "I asked her for water and she gave me gasoline", I'm thinking of writing an eBay version. It may or may not go like this: "I ordered a 28w fluorescent 4 pin light bulb but they sent me a PRIMA hot & cold thermos flask." Doesn't quite scan that well really but you just never know when you might need to introduce an unsung line with an unexpected element into a tune. Not sure how may stars to add for their review, five for imagination would be fair enough.

Older Fellow

When you've got the builders in and one of them says that an "older guy" will be round tomorrow to do the rough-casting but when he shows up he's a lot younger than me.

I suppose I'm approaching what I'd loosely describe as the "Keef " years, like a schooner negotiating some rocky tropical coastline just after a passing typhoon has ravaged the area. We'll get into a safe haven eventually but there will be bumps along the way. We're also taking in sea water in small amounts but are looking forward to the feast of the coconuts and wild pigs. The morning after not so much.

Blogger Stats

Be of reasonable or even good cheer, your artificial searching is over and the numbers do not lie, most of the time anyway.

Things of Power

 

Well that's Season 1 done and dusted. A lot of money spent and what's to show? Staggering but ultimately exhausting CGI vistas, grand schemes and designs populated by characters who are somehow much more petty and stupider than Tolkien might have imagined. Then again people (elves, dwarves, halflings and humans) are pretty weak and fallible and that makes for ongoing and regular drama. Nobody in Middle Earth is actually bright enough for the job or role they're in, a bit like a Tory Cabinet I suppose. Not all that likable either as they struggle for power and domination, I imagine that there's some original sin spooned into the gene pool mix but that's never really explained.

Considering that the source material is an "unfilmable" book at least they ended up with a film series that's just about OK. Money obviously talks. Arguably this adaptation was always going to be a bit unnecessary, like Peter Jackson's three part Hobbit saga. The stop button is hard to press. Amazon is on a roll, like some unhinged Balrog. Just a thought, is RoP going to looked back on as the Star Trek of this generation? Probably not.

So we're a third of the way through this and it's a season (No.1) I won't be revisiting or rewatching again. I'm hoping it picks up in season 2 whenever that's dropped on us. Perhaps a little less wooden acting and direction, some reasonable dialogue and less casting that looks like it belongs in an end of term school play ... but it's fantasy and really there are no rules, just put it all out there. Some will like it, some will get angry and some will just ignore it.

Mad Not To

This slid it's slimy, gravy coated way into my Insta feed the other day. I thought that these places might well have expired but no, Mad O'Roukes Pie Factory lives on. Back in the 90s I spent some time working in Dudley near Birmingham on some goofy IT project. Mad O'Roukes was a fairly regular haunt in the evening (it might not have been in Dudley but it was nearby, it's all a blur now). Proper beer, pies and mash; Black Country food, as I imagine it. I'd like to say I'll just pop round the next time (?) I'm in the area but the sad truth is I'm highly unlikely to darken their roughly brush-painted, colourful doors ever again.

It's already looking like a food themed week on these pages.

My Collection

 

My taste buds and sensibilities are enjoying something of a renaissance these days. This has resulted in my collection of esoteric sausage rolls (all kept neatly frozen but ready for the air-fryer) slowly coming together. Here's a listing of flavours and fillings, from left to right:

1. Wild pigeon, garden parsley and crushed avocado stone jelly.

2. Garlic fried kale, fricassee porcupine and cartoon Japanese radish.

3. Mexican dynamite peppers, and Coca-Cola glazed caramel sardines.

4. Icelandic tomato spears, balsamic chutney and ox-haggis.

5. Pulled Hopetoun pheasant, leeks in coffee beans, buckshot and brandy infused artichokes.

Crepes al Fresco

Good habits that are for one time only: My breakfast crepe, forged in the fire and hot steel of the Crepe Shack's woodland kitchen from natural ingredients and other stuff. Filled with peanut butter, banana, porridge oats and mysterious extras. Served on a kind of recycled plate thing with yogurt and blueberries and eaten with a wooden spoon/fork/fingers with a milky super latte on the side. Everybody wants one now.

Tentsmuir Daily Photo

 

I've heard a lot about Fife's Tentsmuir forest and dunes but never visited it at all until yesterday. I was born a (longish medal winning) stone's throw away but never ventured into the dark woods. It's a serene dog walker's paradise albeit I was without a dog. Bikes and Spandex pants are quite popular here too. What a time to be alive. The October weather didn't disappoint and the trails and the landscape looked great and (thankfully) pretty empty of other people, the scourge of a good walk. 

The smell of pine hung in the still air and it was nice to breathe in what seemed like very clean lungfuls of it, filtered by the sea breeze and the wafting branches above the path. Quite why there are two iron girders sprouting up next to a tree (above) I've no idea. There's clearly been other activities going on in the past.

A redundant WW2 observation station is still a useful spot from which to observe. Never forget that.

Looking north across the dunes to the distant silvery Tay and the Angus hills, maybe.

South Queensferry Daily Distortion

 

As usual there are a number of daily Matrix glitches taking place here in SQ. Sometimes things just shimmer and shudder and disappear and then reappear. Of course you have to be paying very close attention otherwise you'll miss these moments. It's all in the eye and the mind of the beholder. You need to be careful not to confuse the real and the unreal. If you can catch the eye of the pavement dogs and check on the visible codes. This doesn't work on humans.

Colours

 

Blue is the opposite of orange. Red is the opposite of green. Yellow is the opposite of purple. If you can't quite see or think of colour this way then hopefully this might help you enjoy ... colours. The design and construction of the above colour wheel device was carried out by my better half. It was deliberately photographed in black and white(ish) because that's the sort of thing we do around here.

Someone of Little Importance

Our hopes and fears are pinned on the investment sector looking kindly upon us. Some say that growth is good but are we using the correct measures? A confused government stirs like a waking toddler with a full nappy.  They point to a non-existent anti-growth coalition that seeks to undermine their plans. Those plans are for grim worlds of keyboard tapping and screen wiping and swiping that creates great vistas of prosperous landscapes that only leading to bleak horizons that that we cannot so easily avoid. Less regulation means more criminals. Some see this all as a muddled vision. A trap. There is no actual direction*. 

* A lengthy footnote describes how our new ruler was wearing what was said to be a "cruel suit", one that had associations. She wore it for a specific purpose, to send a message. When the speaker stands in her cruel suit the people are braced, ready for a push, an insult or a slap, perhaps some more discrete punishment. There will be pain. Will she declare that concentration camps are to be set up? That everyone must be single minded in this? That there are "others" who can never fit in? That those with different ideas are not to be trusted? That she knows what's good for us and what's best for us? Is truth important?

Another view was that she was advised the wear the suit. She was unaware of it's connections or history. She just accepted the decision of a director who "knew about these things". It didn't dawn on her that she was being played. That she was just as much of a puppet as everyone else in the room. She is a nobody, an empty vessel, a nodding donkey lacking the wit and imagination to see the real situation, to see the grinning shadows stalking in the twilight, there behind the bright proscenium archway. Her imagined glory is just a pack of lies that they maintain, an image made to be broken once it's useless to them.

Studio Time

This week we're in the studio. When I say this week I mean for a few days that are naturally occurring during this particular time period but not seven days. We're actually recording music and working things out ... slightly after the event. So far it's been really good fun and a great opportunity to catch up with equipment, effects and processing developments as well as deep seated inner demons. I quite enjoy the paradoxical worlds of anxiety and tension versus rewards and unexpectedly favourable outcomes that the process provides. That being the lows and highs, basses and middles found in the circumnavigation of a world of sonic possibilities.

Perpetual Revolution

Let's just go with the concept of a relentless, perpetual revolution running constantly in the background until by defying the law(s) of averages we get not only the revolution we want but the revolution that we deserve. One that destroys the religious myths, class stereotypes and economic delusions that ruin things for everyone. But if you still need to follow a religion it'll be tolerated 😉. Some might even decide to construct a golden age from the girders,rivets and scrap metal god makes available to them. 

Sorting Out

The prospect of recording some music looks to become a reality in the next few days, so some (almost) last minute checks on instruments and equipment has become necessary. We'll be going mobile and into an actual studio. Obviously I've no real system for this other that footering about with tunings, switches and fiddly bits in order to make sure a) they are working and b) I can remember how they are supposed to work. Thankfully it didn't take too long, I'm lacking in the geeky and patience genes plus a few basic skills. My preparations are of course less than water tight. I'm confident that I haven't thought of everything, a fact that makes the whole enterprise a lot more entertaining.

In Search of Tom Bombadil

 

As it's the 1st of October I decided to try to search out my old friend and imaginary travelling companion Tom Bombadil. Tom is still reasonably upset about being excluded from the LoTR FILM due to time constraints and "not really adding much to the overall narrative". You can understand why he's gone to ground. "At least you're a Lego figure in the game," somebody said. I don't think that the honour of that counted as much compensation for him. Anyway a few years have passed so I thought he must be close to getting over it by now, surely he's moved on.

He is also a bit forgetful and easily distracted so perhaps he's OK with things. Of course you should never underestimate the emotional depth of those who are immortal or outside of time or whatever. Their pain can be something that defines them significantly. Turns out he's still not ready to surface. Still pretty pissed off. My trekking shoes from ALDI will have to wait a bit longer for their first sizable outing and explorative challenge.

I wonder if he'll make some kind of appearance in Amazon's Rings of Power. That might help soothe the hurt. Maybe even just a "walk on". Then again he may not be so happy with this particular adaptation.

Aldi Trekking

 

"Not in those shoes you're not!"

Aldi Broxburn - Base Camp Diary: I'm on a trek thanks to my new trekkers, they're for trekking. Rain, wind snow, sleet, shopping bargains, I won't be beaten by the elephants. The poor weather didn't stop me, I'm in the brand new aisles of the local Aldi. A spacious tin cathedral for the cost conscious shopper, sparking clean and open to the general public and the great unwashed. It's the traditional treasure hunting experience and I'm fueled by a Greggs roll in sausage, a latte and a grim sense of purpose. In the end I left with coffee and biscuits and some yogurts. The trekking shoes were something of an after thought but now I have them I'm headed for the hills, weather permitting.

Magic

Observations by other means: The use of special "fantasy sensitive" glasses or lenses gives Toadstool Town Two a slightly different look. It does appear to be something like a showstopper entry on Bake Off but perhaps that's simply the powers of suggestion and illusion along with the general magic of the mushrooms. It all runs in the background here and on into other parallel worlds.

Post sponsored by IKEA. Thank you.

Toadstool Town Two

 

The great grey tendrils of fungi brain reach across the garden. The signal traffic can be quite intense. The instructions, garbled electricity to dull human ears ring crystal clear in the darkness of the damp soil. "Toadstool Town must be rebuilt at all costs." And so it was. It is futile to resist the gentle commands of the fungal consciousness, it's complex network silently running the world of Terra Firma as we idly pass by above, oblivious and unaware of it's power and intent. As the destroyer of Toadstool Town One I have to confess to a deep sense of guilt. I'll not be making that mistake again. I'll sleep better tonight knowing that TTT remains intact. I'm not sure what they are planning for the next stage of the project. I'll keep you posted.

Wingnut Collection

 

A few completed DIY projects have left me with a surplus of useful wingnuts. I've never used the term "wingnut" as an insult and don't intend to but people do. Anyway here are some handy definitions:

Ideological extremist from either side of the political spectrum who unquestioningly repeats any and all propaganda and/or conspiracy theories propagated by their side of the political spectrum, no matter how unlikely.

An eccentric driven by religious fervor to take on unusual or irrational social or political opinions without care that other members of society consider them off balance. The extremism of these people's faith is proof to them that they are right.

Some crazy dickhead.

A shaped metal (threaded) nut that can be easily turned with the fingers and used to anchor bolts into wood or other material.

Aberfeldy Daily Nonsense

 

Ducks in a duck pond. No ducks and it's just a pond.

Black Watch Memorial: Once I did belong to them as a junior, more than fifty years ago. That's a long time by any reckoning. The memorial is a lot older.

Strange cake flavours: Blueberry and Lemon, Courgette and Lime. Turns out that too much cake and coffee is not a good thing. They can give you meat sweats and vivid dreams that you can't quite recall in the morning.

I've no idea what the purpose of this is.

The toppermost top of an old staircase looking down.

Aberfeldy might be a Blue Zone town. There are signs and wonders. I'm wondering right now about the signs. Healthy hipster shops and a sense of "community". Anyway it's OK but I suspect a big Blue Zone tick of approval would play well on property prices and so on. Then you can build a wall around it to keep the scabby out, it's about the metrics. Maybe it's more of a light blue. I spotted a few unhealthy looking folks who seem to have slipped trough the net.

I'm not sure if I consider the Blue Zone movement(?) to be good or to be sinister but that's just my natural cynicism. What's wrong with promoting areas of the world where people are happier, live longer, are more environmentally aware, eat healthier, live healthier and so on?