Today

 Not really doing much today.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

Welcome to our local moon, seen here on a visit and doing it's ominous hovering on top of some bridge or other. And so a bad night for the resident werewolves and their unfortunate victims begins once again in our medieval themed location, a town now twinned with somewhere in Transylvania. There will be blood of some sort and a smattering of mayhem too. "Thank God it's Friday in the 'Ferry!" chant the pitchfork waving ghouls down in the high street as they struggle to navigate their way across the numerous pot-holes, fake cobbles, speed bumps and anti-pedestrian bollards that litter the place. These road safety features certainly hamper the progress of an innocent mob simply Hell bent on a quiet night out, a little bit of lynching and a decent bonfire. Full moon riots like this ensure that the native culture is preserved intact forevermore, or at least while the fellows and trick cyclists of the City Council remain up to their necks in the power of their Devilish porridge.

Magical

 "By the light of these magical mushrooms,

You stopped us from feeling gloomy,

With your chocolate creamy centres,

We watched a film starring George Clooney,

(and Julia Roberts)."

Rain Diary

Wonderful days of winter rain spill out of the heavens and flood new places and spaces. Black ice is replaced by the melted kind. Events are affected. People wearing space suits to lecture about space but they've never been up and into space. Normal things become tricky and annoying. Cars and people are not waterproof. Best to stay indoors and set up a beer guard to ensure your tiny stockpile remains safe.

Three Days In

Three days into 2023, much the same as 2022 really. All the fuss, fire hoses, fireworks and earth works speak to me only of the slow decline in environment and civilisational standards. If I have time I might review a film or two, having watched a film or two over these slack days of rain avoidance. Everything will be expiring soon, so I'd better hurry. Here's two steak pies about to bake out.

31st Dec

31st December 2022. On the last lap. A few short hours till 2023 when of course things will be no different. Just some repeated sets of numbers on the wall to consider. We'll also be nudging ourselves out of this curious and exploitative season into another, buying sofas and booking holidays and getting ready for Easter. The world's nobody's oyster anymore, it's everybody's dustbin but we'll go down fighting, mostly with ourselves. Tomorrow is always another day and a superficial blog post.

Daily Cat Photo

Even for cats we're in the dog end of December. These guys are getting on now, both a tad too fragile as we up their meds and keep them warm and ticking over. Their once wild and violent playground has turned back to a rest home. No hunting and killing, just steady observation and a lot of cozy nap times. We're hoping they make it through a decent chunk of 2023 or more, we'll see.

Back to Basics

 

Fancy a pub argument? What the people want* (?) are proper cars. No more of these bigger on the outside smaller on the inside SUVs designed by marketing men and cost consultants. We need "fuck off" estate cars and station wagons. Cars you can fill up with couches, lawnmowers and dump runs and do all sorts of shit without breaking your back getting stuff  over the rear lid lip. We need value for money volume instead of height and bulk that's practically useless so don't talk to me about road presence either. Oh, and only an idiot would buy an EV when there's no proper charging infrastructure. As it turns out I don't drive any of these vehicles, I just like to moan in a reasonably constructive way.

*Extensive research has been done but I'm not quite sure who did it.

Music

Music: The strange art of arranging sounds in time so as to produce a continuous, unified, and evocative composition, as through melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre.
Music can also be vocal or instrumental sounds possessing a degree of melody, harmony, or rhythm.
Simply put a musical composition is music.

Next time you're near one, pop into a branch of Guitar Guitar and have a listen to what's going on in there. It's probably music but it's hard to be sure. Maybe it's something else, something greater and higher, something that's progressed past the audio appreciation of the common man. I don't know. You have to experience it at least once in your life. Then you can die happy.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

 

The seasonal gloom descends on the close knit community that is SQ. Shrouded in some self inflicted mist and at times horizontal rain we cleave together secure in the knowledge that we're slightly better off than those unfortunates freezing in the American Midwest. Mind you they have automatic weapons, big trucks and copious amounts of weak beer with which to battle their extreme weather. I'm still happier here for the time being apart from getting upset by the regular Facebook bulletins that tell of lost cats and dogs and people trying car doors in housing estates. 

Our supplies are less volatile and mostly consist of flat Prosecco, snack foods and slowly discolouring leftovers. In fact the humus sticks are about to be placed in the oven. We'll consume them soon. Our oven is so right on that it has an actual setting for humus sticks. Humus also means "vegetable mold", a fact I've just discovered. Yum. 

It hardly seems like two whole days since it was Christmas and we'll have to wait another 363 till the next one. I am considering setting up a petition or a crowd-funder to lobby for Christmas only to be celebrated once every 5 years. David Bowie wrote a song about that very idea, or am I mistaken? It'll probably just generate unintended consequences and the "festival of excessive landfill generation" (as I like to call it) will likely just be driven underground and become even more powerful.

Christmas

 

"It's been a wonderful Christmas here in the Kingdom of Fife. We all received lovely new outfits and hats from the Christmas faerie-folk's visit. Later we took a walk in the snow and then released the hounds into the village streets. It was such fun, we'll probably do it all again next year if we're spared. Did I ever mention to you what was prophesied for 2023? Never mind if I didn't, it'll catch you soon enough."

Trickle Down Economics

 

A seasonal  piece from Cold War Steve. The ever resourceful Michele visits the "bank" because we all know that god always helps those who help themselves. "What business are you in these days?"

Small Penis

 

It's a great (OK reasonable) advert. It certainly worked for me. I'm a simple kind of a soul.

As Christmas approaches I find it difficult to resist falling into the trap of grumpy cynicism when I consider this tarnished and exploited season. A festival of capitalism and joyful misery combined. A machine that has carried us along on it's greed and religious pointlessness for our entire lives as we became happily brainwashed and ground down. The good news is most of it will be over by next week and we've only to endure the shallow optimism of new year celebrations.

Small penis, large salad. Also stop posting dull photographs of nondescript foods that don't reflect your actual lifestyle.

Seasonal Fault Code

 

So today's lucky (seasonal) central heating boiler fault code is number 228. If you, like us, are the recipient of such a code message sent out from your boiler and visible on the control screen then ... well maybe you're not so lucky. The good news is of course that temperatures should not drop below zero for a few days and that a repairman may call by on the 23rd. Can he fix it? I've no clear idea. First world problems.

John Barleycorn (Must Die)

Idly creating collages of things that I randomly encounter.

Happy to be ignored.

Ghost in the Machine

Slithering up icy pavements on a curiously cold Edinburgh morning. I don't think my soul fully left my body as it was pulled upon by the warm exhaling of my breath and my stoic determination not to fall on the frozen concrete. The older you get the more you fear falling. Experts say it's a possible end of life/end of mobility moment at certain ages. Climbing ladders isn't recommended either if you're a male craving adventure. It creeps up on you but then everything does in life, like some slow motion catastrophe you're catching in your peripheral vision. 

I was wondering if other people, some pulled along by dogs, had pairs of magic shoes that grant traction and stability in frost. I lacked the courage to ask why they were progressing along so much quicker than me. I'm never sure if there's some universal truth or power out there that I've simply missed while others just use it continually and quite naturally while I struggle. Am I one of those people? 

Anyway everybody should have a near death thought experiment when heading for a health check and interview. It makes life all the more wonderful and appreciated when you emerge out at the other side under the illusion that you might just be immortal providing you can stay indoors all winter.

As I slid back down the hill from my encounter with the world of medicine I slowly careered into a chilly but welcoming cafe and ordered and ate some Scottish soul food. Braw brunch at Braw Brunch, East Fountainbridge. I'd score the food a generous 7/10 and the service was very good.

Hollowing

They're hollowing out the world

As we quietly stand by

They say it's something of little importance

I don't understand why.

Snow Apparently

The chimney sweep can't get here today because there's snow apparently. I presume all the chimney sweeps are stuck in it. Now the chimney won't be swept until 2023, a whole long period of time away. One health and safety situation just creates another and so it goes on. As a mark of respect and show of solidarity with those frozen chimney sweeps I lit the log burner anyway, mostly as a test but also to generate heat. There's snow apparently. 

The Roads to Freedom

When you're busy trying to understand and map out your younger self's life and attitudes but retrospectively. It never did look quite like this but perhaps it came close at times, or so I imagined. I simply wasn't that deep. "Tried picking up guitar but stopped because he wasn't immediately good at it", sounds a bit familiar. We've all been there. Good choices in music and clothing though, if a bit obvious, spanning a few generations too. Where's Jack Kerouac when you need him?

Edinburgh Daily Icicle

At this time of year Edinburgh is at it's shabbiest. Grit and tinsel on roads, pavements and ground into potholes. Fairy lights, buskers and beggars. Fairgrounds and stalls have "popped up" in order to cash in on some seasonal rush of outdoor activities despite the weather being sub zero and canned music fills the grey air. Desperate and frankly half hearted attempts at Christmas cheer abound, they mainly consist of contracted out tat supported by perpetual scaffolding works. The stalwart locals carry on despite the ironic sense of gloom while the blinking but eyes wide tourists are politely fleeced on every street corner. I can't quite fathom what is needed to fix this. We have as much culture as a fucked cement mixer it seems. 

Would Scottish independence transform this delusional paradise? Bail out the fabled Athens of the North though it has more economic woes than present day Greece? A nice idea but I doubt it. Politicians can't deliver miracles or traffic solutions and God clearly hates us all at Christmas and you cant blame him for that. On the bright side I did see these interesting and 100% natural ice forms and I also had the pleasure of purchasing the world's smallest latte and largest pain au chocolate for a measly £5.50, this is known as street food now and is all the rage apparently.