Sample

 

When the day finally comes when I shuffle off this mortal coil and I stand before the Great Pumpkin and he asks me what my greatest achievement in life was I'll simply point to today, 17/01/23 and say: "I once managed to collect a urine sample from a cat for (cat related) medical purposes." In many ways it's hard to describe but I feel a strange peace and a sense that my work on earth is now done.

Your Black Heart

Inspirational writing: When I say "your black heart" I'm not really thinking of any specific person, it's just a phrase that has a certain songwriting significance but carries no real personal meaning. Sometimes I just make things up because I like how they sound or imagine what it might be like to have such and such a feeling. I like to think of it as a short, primitive form of creative writing. An exercise based on a whim or some passing thought or something I might have heard on the radio or seen on the side of a bus. You know how these things work. I blame the mass media. They invade my space from time to time. It can happen if you get yourself out of the house or even if you don't.

Back to Cats

 

It's Sunday, why not take a welcome break from the uncontrolable troubles others create and just curl up like a cat and forget yourself? I'm determined to make this work. The blurry and slightly shaky picture was taken whilst I was at that moment taking a break from various intrusive thoughts on blah blah troubles hence the poor quality. It was also taken from a distance and I was unable to form a steady platform for the filming. Of course nobody cares about any of this. 😏

Meanwhile I steadfastly refuse to enter any raffles.

Welcome to the Nightmare

Sometimes the chilling images and lighting used to communicate with the masses tell their own sorry story. Try taking advice, instruction or orders from someone who presents themselves as some quasi-dystopian but kindly fascist, the easy image of wealth, authority and rule. Fact shredding and failing to care or empathize because in the end if things aren't very good well that's all our own fault, we brought it on ourselves, nothing much to do with governments or politicians, no. We're just all really, really small and we don't really matter. They're all very busy doing important things we simply wouldn't understand.

Jeff Beck

 

Sad to hear that Jeff Beck passed away yesterday. A real raw talent and guitar genius about whom much has been said, mainly about his technique, touch and ability as a player. I've nothing really to add. His music will live on at least as long as my generation and the one behind it lives on. After that nobody really knows and I won't be around to care. Two things we have in common then, he was also fond of his cars and if it were not for a road accident 50 years ago his career might have been even brighter ... hard to imagine.

No Peter Gabriel

 

I'm no Peter Gabriel but I did climb up on Solsbury Hill once, a long time ago, with my kids. I've been listening to him talking about his new album i/o and the song Panopticom. It's all tied to full moons, stars and art, not quite sure why. He seems calm enough but also intends to try to save us all by doing vague things and by saving nature. No one (except rampant idiots) would argue it's not a good enough idea. However I doubt that this new material and tour will change much in the wider world. His loyal fans will turn up, worship and boogie and move on back to their suburban sprawls or over valued flats to listen in peace and warmth.  Just a reminder that it's 2023. 

The song "Panopticom" is a reasonable 5 minutes of well intentioned if slightly oblique messages. Singing the title as a main lyric in a Peter Gabriel style is quite endearing and that is the hallmark of the repetative composition but to be honest I've only listened to it one and a half times. It might be a grower.

Strangely (?) we're in the process of recording a new album, new songs and new styles. We were doing the bass parts this week along with fills and edits. I couldn't help compare it with the PG opus, with his confidence, budget, the density of his sound and the width of his moon based vision. In a moment of wild delusion I decided that at least one if not more of our songs were better than Panopticom. I know that translates as a form of madness but this week I'm really pleased and proud of our new stuff. I don't feel so big of an impostor. I hope this dangerous feeling stays, you just can never tell. So good luck with the project Peter.

Slow Checkout

So true, sometimes in life all you really want is a slow checkout. Maybe conversation isn't necessary, maybe it's just about not succumbing to the pressure of the queue. The need to get your groceries packed away quickly, the need to find your payment card and know your pin, gathering cash from an errant wallet or purse, stuffing fragile items into bags in the wrong order, the need not to be a perceived as some shambling, out of time nuisance with no regard for other people's precious time. Then again it may just be a euphemism for the long road home, going over the high side or a bigger sleep. If I was younger and taller I might consider a move to Holland.

Today

 Not really doing much today.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

Welcome to our local moon, seen here on a visit and doing it's ominous hovering on top of some bridge or other. And so a bad night for the resident werewolves and their unfortunate victims begins once again in our medieval themed location, a town now twinned with somewhere in Transylvania. There will be blood of some sort and a smattering of mayhem too. "Thank God it's Friday in the 'Ferry!" chant the pitchfork waving ghouls down in the high street as they struggle to navigate their way across the numerous pot-holes, fake cobbles, speed bumps and anti-pedestrian bollards that litter the place. These road safety features certainly hamper the progress of an innocent mob simply Hell bent on a quiet night out, a little bit of lynching and a decent bonfire. Full moon riots like this ensure that the native culture is preserved intact forevermore, or at least while the fellows and trick cyclists of the City Council remain up to their necks in the power of their Devilish porridge.

Magical

 "By the light of these magical mushrooms,

You stopped us from feeling gloomy,

With your chocolate creamy centres,

We watched a film starring George Clooney,

(and Julia Roberts)."

Rain Diary

Wonderful days of winter rain spill out of the heavens and flood new places and spaces. Black ice is replaced by the melted kind. Events are affected. People wearing space suits to lecture about space but they've never been up and into space. Normal things become tricky and annoying. Cars and people are not waterproof. Best to stay indoors and set up a beer guard to ensure your tiny stockpile remains safe.

Three Days In

Three days into 2023, much the same as 2022 really. All the fuss, fire hoses, fireworks and earth works speak to me only of the slow decline in environment and civilisational standards. If I have time I might review a film or two, having watched a film or two over these slack days of rain avoidance. Everything will be expiring soon, so I'd better hurry. Here's two steak pies about to bake out.

31st Dec

31st December 2022. On the last lap. A few short hours till 2023 when of course things will be no different. Just some repeated sets of numbers on the wall to consider. We'll also be nudging ourselves out of this curious and exploitative season into another, buying sofas and booking holidays and getting ready for Easter. The world's nobody's oyster anymore, it's everybody's dustbin but we'll go down fighting, mostly with ourselves. Tomorrow is always another day and a superficial blog post.

Daily Cat Photo

Even for cats we're in the dog end of December. These guys are getting on now, both a tad too fragile as we up their meds and keep them warm and ticking over. Their once wild and violent playground has turned back to a rest home. No hunting and killing, just steady observation and a lot of cozy nap times. We're hoping they make it through a decent chunk of 2023 or more, we'll see.

Back to Basics

 

Fancy a pub argument? What the people want* (?) are proper cars. No more of these bigger on the outside smaller on the inside SUVs designed by marketing men and cost consultants. We need "fuck off" estate cars and station wagons. Cars you can fill up with couches, lawnmowers and dump runs and do all sorts of shit without breaking your back getting stuff  over the rear lid lip. We need value for money volume instead of height and bulk that's practically useless so don't talk to me about road presence either. Oh, and only an idiot would buy an EV when there's no proper charging infrastructure. As it turns out I don't drive any of these vehicles, I just like to moan in a reasonably constructive way.

*Extensive research has been done but I'm not quite sure who did it.

Music

Music: The strange art of arranging sounds in time so as to produce a continuous, unified, and evocative composition, as through melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre.
Music can also be vocal or instrumental sounds possessing a degree of melody, harmony, or rhythm.
Simply put a musical composition is music.

Next time you're near one, pop into a branch of Guitar Guitar and have a listen to what's going on in there. It's probably music but it's hard to be sure. Maybe it's something else, something greater and higher, something that's progressed past the audio appreciation of the common man. I don't know. You have to experience it at least once in your life. Then you can die happy.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

 

The seasonal gloom descends on the close knit community that is SQ. Shrouded in some self inflicted mist and at times horizontal rain we cleave together secure in the knowledge that we're slightly better off than those unfortunates freezing in the American Midwest. Mind you they have automatic weapons, big trucks and copious amounts of weak beer with which to battle their extreme weather. I'm still happier here for the time being apart from getting upset by the regular Facebook bulletins that tell of lost cats and dogs and people trying car doors in housing estates. 

Our supplies are less volatile and mostly consist of flat Prosecco, snack foods and slowly discolouring leftovers. In fact the humus sticks are about to be placed in the oven. We'll consume them soon. Our oven is so right on that it has an actual setting for humus sticks. Humus also means "vegetable mold", a fact I've just discovered. Yum. 

It hardly seems like two whole days since it was Christmas and we'll have to wait another 363 till the next one. I am considering setting up a petition or a crowd-funder to lobby for Christmas only to be celebrated once every 5 years. David Bowie wrote a song about that very idea, or am I mistaken? It'll probably just generate unintended consequences and the "festival of excessive landfill generation" (as I like to call it) will likely just be driven underground and become even more powerful.

Christmas

 

"It's been a wonderful Christmas here in the Kingdom of Fife. We all received lovely new outfits and hats from the Christmas faerie-folk's visit. Later we took a walk in the snow and then released the hounds into the village streets. It was such fun, we'll probably do it all again next year if we're spared. Did I ever mention to you what was prophesied for 2023? Never mind if I didn't, it'll catch you soon enough."

Trickle Down Economics

 

A seasonal  piece from Cold War Steve. The ever resourceful Michele visits the "bank" because we all know that god always helps those who help themselves. "What business are you in these days?"

Small Penis

 

It's a great (OK reasonable) advert. It certainly worked for me. I'm a simple kind of a soul.

As Christmas approaches I find it difficult to resist falling into the trap of grumpy cynicism when I consider this tarnished and exploited season. A festival of capitalism and joyful misery combined. A machine that has carried us along on it's greed and religious pointlessness for our entire lives as we became happily brainwashed and ground down. The good news is most of it will be over by next week and we've only to endure the shallow optimism of new year celebrations.

Small penis, large salad. Also stop posting dull photographs of nondescript foods that don't reflect your actual lifestyle.