Life of CGI

Far away....

...a bit closer.

Here in the colourful land of the back of beyond, where the pothole is king, the scent of cabbages wafts in the breeze and cats grow confused we always allow the sun to drop down in the sky at least once a day. When this happens and we're aware of it we rush down to the seashore, disturb innocent birds that are minding their own perfect business and take out our mobile phones. Then we run up and down the stone and shingle beach, phones held high in the evening air as we focus, click and search for that elusive and perfect five megapixal shot. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we just step in dog poo.

The Life of Pi is a good film (and a good Kindle read no doubt), full of allegory, seascapes, tigers, humour, violence and high quality CGI that will burn out your retinas. In fact it's so trippy and far out that when I came out of the cinema I was convinced that it was still 1971. I had to be talked down from a high branch by a very understanding young social worker who bribed me with a sugar donut and the diluted threat of possible physical or sexual violence. Once down I was restrained by pipe cleaner handcuffs and Ovaltine but I escaped and made my way to Brazil in a Beechcraft Bonanza piloted by Sophia Loren who it turned out had cannibalistic tendencies. When I got  there I settled for a quite life on a brood mare ranch spending my time as an honest  plastic surgeon and part time Nazi hunter. I also found God and then promptly lost him in the post. Well that's one version of events, then of course there is the truth - which one makes the better story?