Narcissism of small differences

The narcissism of small differences...love will tear us apart?OK, if Freud first described this in 1930 or maybe 1917, it matters little but how come I'm only finding out about it today? It seems to be endemic in all groups and movements (well to some extent) that I've ever known. Wow, now I understand the value of an education and how I missed out on so much stuff over the years. I'm going to be seeing this everywhere in everything from now on. Trouble is, how do you deal with it? It strikes me that people are actually comfortable with it, perhaps enjoying it.

Christopher Hitchens also puts it this way.  "In numerous cases of apparently ethno-nationalist conflict, the deepest hatreds are manifested between people who—to most outward appearances—exhibit very few significant distinctions." So in my experience this also includes (up to a significant point): families, religious groups, artistic groups, political parties, work colleagues, sports teams and on and on...