Dawn Patrol

Up early, trying to catch a cat that has a dirty bottom (and then clean said bottom). It's quite a mission. This of course seems impossible. She's been avoiding human contact and remained outside since the problem was noticed yesterday so the offending poop is firmly locked into her fur. The cat firmly refuses to cooperate with any rescue and clean-up attempts. Bait is placed, it's chicken. The cat duly arrives and single handled I apprehend her. A brief scuffle ensues. The cat is eating a piece of chicken so is in two minds, flight or bite. Luckily I manage to squash her (a little) on the floor and the messy, furry, poop part is exposed on her bottom. This intrusion is not welcome. Holding her down with my left hand I make a quick incision using scissors with my right hand. She's not happy, it's more humiliation than physical pain but the dehydrated poop is surgically removed and binned. She slinks away, hopefully relieved that the operation is over. I'm not so sure, there may be more material lurking in her tangled fur but it'll have to wait. All I need to do now is apply a fine coat of Savlon to my various injuries and the world will be well again.