Drone Chute

Incase anybody has any doubts, the future is made up of the daft things that are just about to happen. Amazon drones are dropping parcels here, there and everywhere. Some land on grassy knolls, some in garden ponds, on trampolines, concrete driveways and on small woodland creatures or family pets quietly going about their own business. It's a kind of carnage of a some kind. 

I've no idea where this will end but what are a few deaths on the rocky road to progress in order that you get your junk delivered on time? I do worry about things being dropped into our garden. I spend a lot of time there and don't really look up too often. There's the twin towers of safety and security to consider. It's going to be tough. There may be blood.

A solution to a problem nobody wants: So an idea has landed on/in my head, just like some random buff coloured Amazonian package from high above. The Lord spoketh unto me. The answer is simple. From now on all houses will be required to have "drone chutes" fitted on the roof line (so it's chutes not shoots). These chutes will be secured by a hatch mechanism that senses the nearby drone. 

The drone emits a signal and the lid then opens and the drone drops the package in. It travels down the chute and is arrested by an arrestor device that stops it and holds it until the customer opens the hatch at the lower end of the chute to receive the package inside the "secure and safe" home. Meanwhile the drone heads off to it's next address. What could possibly go wrong? Also: package size, weight and contents matter. Everything has it's limits, apart from infinity.

We already have a prototype drone chute fitted in the house (see below). It just needs a few design enhancements and it'll be ready to haul in the goodies come rain or shine, as they say. Father Christmas is going to have an easy time of it once these become common features on the modern dwelling. You read it/saw it here first.

P.S. Other providers will soon be available; Just Eat Drones, John Lewis Drones, Post Office Drones, Tesco Drones etc.