Little Spurt of Interest and....

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Little spurt of interest.

She thanked me kindly for
The one she’d had before
The tale that I could tell
It serves her very well
Red sails into the sunset sail
And nature’s mother’s ways prevail
As I sway from optimist to pessimist
Love goes before and can’t resist
She wants her rest but I insist
And plug between the haze and mist
Our little spurt of interest.
That fragile spurt of interest.

In the future landfill sites prove useful, as they are found to be a source of alchemistic materials.

(Sometime in 2525)

Friends of the earth unite
We think we have the answer, right?
The world’s economies now in balance
Place in our grasp a new reliance
On seagull shit, black bags and compost
This paradise has not been lost on us.
There’s gold in them there cosmic mines
They buried there, the years behind,
The dust of ages settles thick,
Coke cans and isotopes can mix
With papers, plastics and cigarette butts
Materials your clean future’s lost
And now there’s gold in them there tips
In landfill, wheelie bins and skips,
Come Captain Kirk and charge your phaser,
Your flux-capacitor and Bic razor,
Our generation’s done no real damage,
We rest in peace despite the carnage.
The crown jewels upon your kings
Are from our crap and discarded things.
Spin in your cardboard graves Green Parties
Rotate amid tree roots and in despair,
Our shit still turns up everywhere.

Heaven is...

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The Pope has gone to Heaven. Many good people believe in Heaven and expect it to be great, a reward, a rest and a perfect place to be with the Lord.

Those that don't make the grade however get Hell, no more no less.

So how does that work? I'm happy in Heaven but my kids, my partner, the people next door, my parents, all my favourite movie and rock stars - none of them made it. No cats or dogs either, but hey, they say it's a perfect place in Heaven. Everybody is happy, singing praises to God and we all have new bodies.

But maybe I'm not so happy, despite my new body, I'm me, I remember (or am I brainwashed by God, is that what he wants?) those I loved who didn't make it. Despite all the singing and green grass and shining lights, how can I be happy? So many I loved didn't make it. How can God be happy? It's like having a banquet in your house when the family next door is starving - you can't enjoy that.

So Heaven, a dream? Not much more or a whole lot more? I don't claim to know but whatever it is, it's not what Churches teach, I'm sure of that.

The slackers guide to undermining authority

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The slackers guide to undermining authority.

She was thirty when she wore her first high heels,
Early morning station platform knowing how it feels,
Just knowing, just knowing, knowing is the best,
You can file your experiences down with all the rest.

Red is the colour and the flame is burning on,
Get back to the week before but her navigation’s gone,
She was a singer, that was the band,
She says the music kept her soul in their command.

It’s early morning and she’s sore in her high heels,
Somewhere a young boy wakes not sure last night was real,
But it’s a graveyard shift that tends to make you six foot tall,
But he can’t explain, he can’t see past this bedroom wall.

This is the slackers guide to undermining authority,
I wrote the book on it in nineteen eighty-three.
Don’t put your dead mail packages in my love tray anymore.
You wear me out, you burn me out, I’m back for more.

The fundamentalists have made a basic big mistake,
They thought the plan they had had everything it takes,
Your heaven’s sounding nice but where are all your friends?
Your happiness in there is nothing but pretence.

My money worries are something I never share,
It’s my bank manager, whose back’s bent in despair,
I gave all his money to the lady in high heels,
She drives a white van handing out her meals on wheels.

I follow signposts and I follow GPS,
I find that following things tends to make less of a mess,
But just when you think you’ve landed at your destination,
Click clack, her high heels walking back towards the station.

Click clack, high heels are walking back towards the station.
Click clack, high heels taking me to my destination.

The Crispycats visited

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http://fairytalemanagement.blogspot.com

http://crispycat-recordings.blogspot.com

Friday night and a holiday weekend: wine & pasta & bread & mucho conversation with Mr and Mrs CBQ (link above - please try) here at Inchgarvie. Cats, the reckless rock n' roll past, OOTB, football and families all figured - jolly fine and very late night.

Slight hangover on Saturday but a mix of Easter eggs, leftovers, coffee and Mario-Kart with Joe and Olivia restored me to (almost) full health again.

Enjoying Falkirk's finest songstress Jill Hepburn's altogether too short CD "Groovy enough for two" try jilljahepburn@yahoo.com for a copy

Ali was inspired to roam the web, signed us up for Ebay, Amazon and some other stuff.

Read the Glasgow Herald - see "Scribbles" - somewhere in the archive.

Also visited one beautiful grandchild (Elijah) with Easter eggs, bunny etc. He'd had a good long sleep, unlike me.

Doctor Who wasn't so bad, try to avoid the hype and crap and see it as something in it's own right. The football, well, no surprises there.

Olivia (inspired by CBQ's praise for her poetry) wrote some more:

Dad

Dad is brave, dad takes a shave,
Dad is thin (?), dad likes to win,
Dad takes the rubbish out to the bin,
Dad has a cat, dad has a garden full of bats,
Dad likes to wear big hats,
I am his daughter,
And I'm even odder.

One night at acoustica

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Great night of OOTB performer performances at the world famous Backpackers in Queenferry Street, Edinburgh.

Neil Pennycook, Lindsay Sugden, Big Jim and the Victorians.

www.outofthebedroom.co.uk

A very mixed up audience of fans, supporters, OOTB regulars, backpackers and members of the general public enjoyed the cheap drink, cowboy town atmosphere and relentless good humour of the venue. I think we shall return.

Garden on the roof

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http://fairytalemanagement.blogspot.com

We now have a garden on our roof. Well not our roof. On the roof of the people below us.
We can however see it anytime we like as it's outside our big window - through which we climb to access the roof - confused?
We started it on Saturday and finished it on Sunday. The specification, design, project plan, procurement, layout and finance was Ali's work. I donkeyed stuff around and she picked up what I forgot.
Now all it has to do is grow.
The cat (Syrus) has been introduced to the various plants and flowers and the rhubarb.
He is not altogether comfortable with the starlings nesting up above.
The rhubarb will be eaten idc.
Erin also approved the arrangement - whilst watching the OC and digesting a tuna / pasta bake.
The plants have now been introduced to our misty night air, East coast fog and a small amount of sunshine.
It must be Spring some where.

A list of the plants etc. will be published shortly.

A typical week of food and drink around here

bacon roll & fried egg roll, pizza & chips, caramel wafer, banana, 1 bottle red wine.

bacon roll & fried egg roll, mince, potatoes, peas & mushrooms, caramel wafer, 2 glasses red wine.

2 ham sandwiches, 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 caramel wafer, ravioli c/w beef mince & veg, raspberies & yoghurt, 2 glasses red wine.

2 ham sandwiches, 2 bananas, 2 pizza slices (pepperami & bacon & mushroom), 1 serving of pasta & sauce, 1 chocolate ice cream cone.

1 bowl of porridge, 1 lemon chicken sandwich, 1 pkt cheese & onion crisps, 1 latte, 1 raisin cookie, 2 salad & chicken rolls, 1 ovaltine.

1 bowl of porridge, 1 chicken curry c/w rice, rice-crispie bar, single twix, 1 cheese & pickle toastie, 2 pints 80/-.

1 ham sandwich, 1 apple, 1 pack crisps, 1 easter cake, 1 caramel wafer, poor man's noodles, 2 glasses red wine.

+ coffee & music in liberal doses.

Acoustic Kitchen

Sunday 13th March: Visited the open-mike night “Acoustic Kitchen” at EBytes in the ancient Pictish non-walled, one way-city of Falkirk, along with Tommy Mac. Not the usual pub or back room venue as it doubles as an Italian restaurant I believe. Anyway a good time was had by all, Tommy did three tunes, one less than 24hours old “Yoinks a tenner!” as well his infamous “Kurt Cabana” and “Kiss and tell” (about a forthcoming royal wedding).

www.dailyreckless.co.uk
or http://haufjaiket.blogspot.com



We (Impossible Songs) did “How I hate”, “Cold fish” and “Rainy Friday”, happy to say that Ali found a fine singing voice after being unwell for a few weeks and not a lot of practices.

It was good hear some non-capital city talent for a change and there were some pretty good performances, particularly one set of Glaswegian based poetry that was rather fun. Free pizza was included, the usual surreal raffle thing and I really enjoyed the night out. Thanks to Rob and friends for hosting an OM night that I hope continues to develop – sorry I can’t find their website, arrgh!!

www.impossiblesongs.com

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www.outofthebedroom.co.uk

Guitar Shaped Universe

Research is going on within our facility into this matter, it takes time but we are confident of finding further proof. "$aving America in a guitar shaped universe" is one of our core outputs and a key task. We may require your help in the future - be ready.

In the mean time some new short stories are available on our Fairytale Management Blog. Please take some time to check it out, FTMT, like this blog is large and also contains a great deal of archived material.

http://fairytalemanagement.blogspot.com

Your custom lifestyle soundtrack can be found at www.impossiblesongs.com or www.mp3tunes.com/impossiblesongs and also many other dark and strange places.

You can also email us and we'll see what we can do - direct sales are fine by us:

is@songs.fsworld.co.uk

A polite breakfast 5

Full English, conveyor toast, small juice glass, one sausage, beans, funny tasting coffee, yoghurt in a tiny pot, £6.95 plus nothing. A travel-lodge type of thingy near Preston (off Junction 3 M55). The background music was ok.

The previous evening the local (?) bitter was only £2.00 a pint and fairly decent, no side effects. Didn't have any for breakfast however.

Made it back in time for http://www.outofthebedroom.co.uk - what about the Snowy Owls then?

The Measurement of Time

We have travelled back to the 5th October 1997 to connect you all with this particular thought from Ali:

"The measurement of time is the measurement of the expansion of existence."

Lyrics at an early stage....

The ideas here are set down mainly to capture a rythmn than say very much, but the structure seems good so we'll work on it, songs tend not to arrive all in one piece, in good shape, ready to go. Allow us some blood, sweat and tears (and wine) this weekend to develop this. Try www.impossiblesongs.com anytime you like, even if you don't buy you can get nice 2min song segments. Also www.mp3tunes.com/impossiblesongs or www.mperia.com/artists/impossible_songs


Long cold winter

The weathergirl says it’s been a long hard winter

Seems no different to me

Music hall faded in my fog of memory

Never said I’d vote for you’re idea.

If your struggling to your feet, I’ve got friends you need to meet

Long cold winter. Long cold winter.


You could die of something along that line

Makes no difference to me

Your action’s consequences hard to find

Right foot down, push back the seat.

If your struggling with defeat, I’ve got friends you need to meet

Long cold winter. Long cold winter.


Long, Cold, Long, Cold,
Stretch your babysitter; come back from the winter,
Make the change to ginger, give us back our bitterness,
Take us to the edge of your success. (nOt qUItE fInIshEd lyrIcs!)


Here’s my Samsonite Kalashnikov

Here’s the remote from my TV

Here’s the rainbow you’ve been praying for

There’s the map to East of Zee.

If your struggling to your feet, I’ve got friends you need to meet

Long cold winter. Long cold winter.

A polite breakfast in Elgin

3rd March 0800- Mansfield Hotel Elgin (Scotland). Raspberry yoghurt, fresh pineapples and melon. Coffee (in a pot with a handle too hot to handle!), toast (brown and I only ate half a slice). Two sausages, fried egg, two bits of bacon, mushrooms and black pudding c/w some brown sauce and a small glass of orange juice. Didn't much like the art work on display in the dining room, service was good however and this hotel is nice and warm.

Didn't eat anything at all until I had some soup and tiffin in Aviemore at about 2pm.

Today and yesterday I have seen a lot of snow, some close up, some at a distance.

A polite breakfast 3

Edinburgh. Snow fell like snow does, it's very early, I've been up since 0435 and now aeroplanes are frozen on the ground and to it, and I'm in one. Nobody is flying yet.

Edinburgh, 06.35 and I'm sitting on a plane that is going nowhere with it's snowy wings. The captain tells us things will get better once the runway opens. Once it is cleared.

0705, still going nowhere, read the paper, reading a book.

0725, the de-icer truck is due at any moment then we'll be in a queue, once they clear the snow from the runway. Conversations about work, holidays, funny events and more reading.

0745, we must eat a polite breakfast, a hot breakfast which will spoil if not eaten. We must eat it even though we are grounded. No coffee can be served however, only juice, in case of an accident. I eat mine and my fellow passengers eat theirs, quietly as we wait for the next announcement. The breakfast is ok, the weather and the airport are not.

0825, some passengers leave in a herd. Their day is wasted but they have had breakfast. They return to their offices, cars or homes. I'm wondering what to do next.

0905, no queue, no truck, no nothing. Read a book, chat, make phone calls, start to write off the morning.

1000, snow,clearing, de-icer truck has broken down.

1025, stewardess says we can go, I choose to go, we can get off the plane. I ask to go, put my name down, take my boarding card, I will escape. I will make alternative arrangements.

1045, I'm getting off the plane, I'm standing on the slushy steps, but it is raining now.

1050, from the terminal I see the de-icer truck working hard three planes away from the one I was on. They are in a queue.

1100, I am heading for the car park. It was a polite breakfast, shame about the lack of coffee.

Get your FTMT here, there and on-line

Ladies & Gentlemen,

We at impossible songs are proud to offer the chance of a lifetime, to change your future , your outlook, your finances and your lifestyle. And all for the better. It's all on offer at our FTMT portal that guides you directly to all the stored up wisdom of the universe so.....

Rock 'n Roll down to http://fairytalemanagement.blogspot.com

and smother yourself, your kids, your house, your TV, your deep freeze, your small garden pond that needs a good clean, your Mazda 323, your toasty maker, your desert boots, your MP3 player and your pets in our funky and rewarding ideas.

If that's not good enough then guess what? You can log onto I.Tunes open an account and buy our groovy stuff and cram it into your I.pod , now available in the UK as well as the USA - we've got the sales to make, you've got the cash!! we know it works!! so download our music, YAHOO!!

Problems? try www.impossiblesongs.com get full 2 minute soundclips of all our material or www.mperia.com/artists/impossible_songs or www.mp3tunes.com/impossiblesongs for 30 second soundclips, bloggy stuff, biogs, photos, nonsense, lyrics and you can review us if you like on all our sites.

Anything else is second best, second rate and last week's corned beef hash. So bottle on down and add some FTMT (via impossible songs) to a small, significant corner of your life.

$aving Europe

Don't forget to try out www.impossiblesongs.com the original and best - or

http://mperia.com/artists/impossible_songs only 88cents a download! And what fantastic quality! And a bit of blogging also, and gigs, and other stuff, and other people.

$aving Europe

A dying breed from yesterday
The heavens opened and took them away
The crows did a fine flying display
We promised to live eternally

The people march then pound the door
The common views are heard no more
Celebrity and trivia run the show
While we lay back, go with the flow.

The Polit bureau face to face
Smile as they conquer, fill each parking space
Their greatest hits, accomplished grace
All bend and scrape to take their place.

You drunken, smoking bastard yobs
Expect degrees and cushy jobs
This country once was run by snobs
Or held to account by angry mobs.

Then with their weapons set to stun
The troops are marshalled in Belgium
They out manoeuvre everyone
And pledge their loyalty to the sun.

Don’t fall in love with just any whore
You pay everything, but she wants more
And take the money from the night before
As you look out the window, she’s out the door.

We’ve tailored you a future bright
With enterprise and shining light
Our yes means no, our no means shite
Believe them or just what you like.

The golden isle, this home of law
The backbone of the planet’s flaws
We gave religion, doubt, guilt and god
We don’t know why, we say “because….”

Poison me with these here onions would you?

My lover wants to poison me with onions
Some strange and vegetable plot
Some unspeakable sexual act
It’s a matter of fact
In onion soup, in strange green fries
Deep in the heart of Chinese recipes
Messages, ciphers and intrigue
Cookery and chicanery lay siege
To the wok and saucepan
A culinary master plan
Whatever the consequences be
My onion poisoning lover she
Prepares an overdose to comatose
And settle me and bury me
By some sunny south facing wall
Where onions shoot up straight and tall.

Time Travel - DIY

If E=mc2 then in order to release E supply c to me/you/whatever.C = the speed of light = light moving. I am not conscious of how to find light that is not moving and any light I find must be moving so if E=mc2 then to release E apply light as we know it.

Another Handy Hint on how to do things from Ali

links, links & ideas for an evening

http://www.mperia.com/displayfull.php?searchby=artist&id=8850

or

http://fairytalemanagement.blogspot.com

or

Why not just switch on the TV, grab a beer, put your feet up, relax, enjoy the soaps or footie, walk the dawg, shave the cow, spike the sphinx, tear down the garden shed, read the funnies, fun the readies, attack an idle shark, spray a prayer, get layered, feed the furnace, unzip an apple, paint a chapel's ceiling, unplug that axe, melt some wax, catch some razors, wipe your fears, erase your back axle, twist the headphones, worship your mazda, pick a new nostril, make yours a mackeral, storm iraq, $ave america, stone those pesky crows, pull up the little weeds, say a few kind words, vote for higher tolls, eat sticks, tighten up your machine heads, sing at out of the bedroom, feel free, tell them all it's nothing to do with me, download us, explode us, ignore us, grow on us, make an extra-marital gesture, rest your weary eyes upon the open road, fly to venice, talk sense for a change...but don't act strange.

Time Sucks

E=MC2 at times

Time Sucks

It’s amazing how much time you’ve really got
You think it’s slipping by, but then it’s not
Believe all that you like but let me say
There’s time for everything in everyday.

Don’t start to panic
Don’t get too manic
Time is elastic
See it bend round the planet.

It doesn’t scare me now, things that may come
Face the future sticking out you’re big red tongue
What’s not cant hurt you, what is you can’t control
What’s never been, cannot be seen, so let it go.

Don’t start to panic
Don’t get too manic
Time is elastic
See it bend round the planet.

Time sucks time sucks

Einstein never meant to mix us up
Things that matter are here and now today
And the sun is only eight minutes away.

Time sucks time sucks

Don’t start to panic
Don’t get too manic
Time is elastic
See it just bend round the planet.