Friday, June 14, 2013

When blogging - make the pictures large



Joni time and goin' back to Canada: Whilst bumbling around and ironing I watched two fascinating and contrasting documentaries this week. One was a conventional face to face interview between Joni Mitchell and a Canadian journalist. Joni now nearly 70 is chiseled, old, defiant, alarmingly lucid and self aware, violently self critical, clever and bright. She sits in some fortress Californian home, her own paintings on the wall, random guitars and glinting frames everywhere. She is a strange kind of wispy golden woman. Unattractively she chain smoked through the chat and always returned to her formative years in Canada to pin the blame and find the proof for her lifetime’s motives and actions. She was a talking lyric book, a feast of tangled memories and names and things that are to her still important and relevant - trying to make some sense of a life. A sign of ageing I’ve often seen, reliance on and recounting the past to make a more measured explanation of the long road here. She can no longer sing, she paints and holds court (with a spark or two) and lives the kind of life you’d imagine. She talks about the greats of song writing, the modern masters, artists and poets but nothing really sticks. She never liked poetry…I know what she means.  She struggles just to be in some place and to stop That’s what a lifetime of travel gets you, itchy feet and sore legs, aching backs and a stubborn inability to stop keeping up the illusion. I wont ever meet her, that’s probably a good thing. She's like some kind of weird spiritual mother but one best avoided...here come all those absurdities and the good/bad ideas.




Joe time and the long journey out of Eden: Then it was “the History of the Eagles” Part 1. I’ve not seen Part 2 yet but Part 1 was traumatic enough. Nobody was ever happy for too long in that band and strops, fights and bad moods coloured a lot of their history. Then along came loose cannon Joe Walsh in the mid seventies, a clown and a buffoon and another alpha male genius in the mix. I forget Joe Walsh periodically, maybe deliberately but of all the good guitar players out there he really had an effect on me. I recall the first gold top Antoria Les Paul and the James Gang’s Greatest Hits. It must’ve been 1973 and I was for a short time trying to learn to play almost properly. Something in Walsh’s playing, sound and phrasing on his James Gang stuff really went in deep. The arpeggio, the slide and echo, the bounce he got into his riffs, his harmonics and the busy filler pieces - or guitar field as Joni Mitchell calls it…more guitar field, more barnstorm. Maybe Walsh just had a simpler style than Page or Clapton, maybe they were too speedy and too far out of reach. Walsh was concrete and space, he stopped a lot and unplayed parts. He was also a crashing and untidy player, in and out of funk and classic bolero moments, unpredictable. So his career took a new and a lucrative path in the Eagles where he beefed up their sound but then he really sank in that corporate sludge of big band ego and he never did recapture whatever patchy magic was in the three James Gang albums or the Smoker You Drink. That’s what big bands do when they implode. We’ll see what he makes of things in Part 2 if I ever get a big enough pile of ironing to get round to watching it.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Get down from that cross, we could use the wood

Of course this means something.
Timber lizard in hibernation. 
Guitar headstocks that require sanding and varnishing and sanding and varnishing and so on.
When phones, cameras, all the electronic preachy shit we have and even simple file transfers let you down, (as they always will) it's good that you can rely on wood just to be...wooden. There's hardly a more pleasingly reliable material, easily worked (?), come by, burned, polished and ultimately turned into useful / useless objects - heat in extremis if you are desperate. Round here we specialise in the useless variety and have spent a number of years producing a great many useless but pleasing to us objects. Does that then make these things useful? Probably. Valuable? Not really. Wood working, design, injury, fatigue, repetition and the long practiced art of self deprecation, somehow they were all meant for each other and go hand in glove like a duvet, a kitten, cult membership and an atomic bomb.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

New album


Those clever Goldfrapp electro twins may well have come up with a new album of music, songs and sounds. Father's Day gift anyone? Click here.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Tweet of the day

As a fan and a critic of all things to do with road signs I'm now on the look out for the sign(s) referred to below in a possible Tweet of the (other) Day. Truth is I seldom leave the confines of Fife these days, the borders and boundaries being something of a blur and so I've not had an opportunity to catch up on this new strident and historically correct sign language. Need to get out more and broaden my horizons but what with the guitar, driftwood and sculpture workshop taking off, currys to make, dishes to do and cats to entrap it's all too difficult right now.

Just passed a sign saying 'You Are Entering the Kingdom of Fife'. One of the world's great road signs.

Saturday, June 08, 2013

The waterfall of eternal Zen


It was so sunny today that we lived in the garden. We ate pasta, trifle and olives, drank wine, water and pear lemonade and then jammed on various guitars drums and voices. It was a very fine day. Then at 1815 along came the clouds and that was that but the happy memories  remain and the waterfall will again start and stop and flow at the bidding of the sun another day. Sometimes everything is just the way it should be and the universe just moves to the tapping of your foot, the whistling of the birds  and the buzzing of a rare and lazy bee.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

The significance of the trivial...


...is easy to say but more difficult to define. It's possibly untrue, unless you can somehow add all the trivial up till it reaches some point of significance, like a blog or a Twitter feed might do.  Like bad or accidental science, chaos forming up into creativity or just random constructions in twigs and Lego or bits of forgotten guitars banged back together in the hope that they/it might produce a decent tune.

A lukewarm cup of coffee.
Appreciating a Ford Focus.
A pen runs out.
An airport ticket is changed with no fuss.
A sunny day.
Falling asleep while travelling.
Waking up in a strange room.
Two over fried eggs eaten with brown sauce.
Cats jumping in a playful fight.
Reeling up a garden hose.
A battery runs out.
Messages on an answering machine.
Planning a trip.
Three items received in the post all hidden in different places around the garden.
The washing machine set to the wrong temperature.
Thinking of things but not doing them.
A charitable donation.
A spilled drink.
Looking out of a window.
A hot bus.
People out walking dogs and children.
Dirty laundry.
Serenity.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Samsung v Apple



If Samsung and Apple iPhoto were a married couple they'd be throwing china cups and pints of milk at one another, then storming out in a huge huff, then coming back in and slapping the other on the back of the head, swearing and pouting and then either setting fire to the wardrobe or slashing the seats in the BMW 5 series estate. Whatever way these guys are just incompatible and I'm getting a little tired of their childish behaviour. So here are some unedited photos of questionable cowboy guitar projects that are currently underway round these parts. Over and out Samsung.

Monday, June 03, 2013

The sword swallower's cat


There are only sixty genuine sword swallowers in the world. Here's one I saw at the Taste of Grampian  food fare and sword swallowing extravaganza in Inverurie. He's also Scotland's only practicing SS performer apparently. Long live the eccentric and scary world of street theatre I say. N.B. this guy also eats fire, juggles knives and does the old bed of nails routine - all whilst telling quirky jokes. He didn't have his cat with him on the day.

Sunday, June 02, 2013

If albums were books

More lazy blogging (due to unseasonal seasonal weather and being busy entertaining numerous guests). This site is rather good if you like to see rehashed classic (?) albums re-imagined as books.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Imaginary Robin


There's not much worse than getting followed around by a figment of your imagination. This has been happening to me for a few months now - in the form of an over friendly robin. Frankly the tiny red-coated fellow is stalking me. Here, there and as John Lennon might have said, everywhere. But mostly in the garden. When I whistle, along he comes, winking and blinking and set to briefly enjoy my company before winging away into the safety of the shrubs from where he can safely observe my antics. I have encouraged him, saved his life (from the jaws of a cat) on one occasion and regularly fed him assorted nuts coated with second hand fat from the butcher shop in Limekilns. It's all my own fault really. Relationships can get complicated.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Blackie Strat

What it should look like.
Building up a Blackie Strat from EBay'd and found bits and beach combings. Well I've not done any building yet, just purloining the pieces and preparing to clean up, titivate and repair. There will be periods of doubt, disappointment and some frustration but I shall struggle through. Once completed this priceless mongrel  pedigree tribute to rock n' roll n' blues history will be priced at £350 or thereabouts. Form an orderly queue.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Smartphone ownership

My actual screen pic minus the ever morphing shortcuts.
Sadly the Samsung Galaxy smart phone honeymoon period is over. A fun and proud to have novelty for a few days it's already revealing a wider, possibly world wide "Emperor's new clothes syndrome" type of deception that I suspect everyone has been duped into following. OK it's not a total crock but one week in I'm hungry for a proper button to press, I dislike the stupid flicky screen. My clumsy flicks or nose wipes are generally misunderstood and it warps of into god knows where whilst covered in fingermarks. It moves in my pocket and resets or changes the view. It's always looking for some connection, like a Los Angeles hooker. It's always telling me something isn't available and it still chirps randomly (I suspect Googlemail) in some desperate bid to get my waning attention. Texts and typing are a muddle, I'm doubly confounded by the tiny non-button buttons and the irritating spell check that rattles on with unwanted suggestions all the time.

Them there's the camera, the one bit of mobile tech I had bonded with. I don't see it happening with this fickle baby. It wants it's own way all the time, it  blacks out in any sunlight, does the flicky thing to video when you least want it to and in a unforgivable way it refuses to mate with an Apple MacBook. That means that to get photos into the laptop (because I don't want to stuff everything on line unedited) I have to extricate the tiny memory card and then use an adaptor to regain control of the shots. Unless some unexpected Epiphany occurs it's headed for the bottom of a sock drawer or the bottom of the Forth.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Out of my system

The warden's house. A job for the summer, advertised once in a while and probably well worth it...I've signed up.
Here's the ferry looking steady...but it's anything but.
The green lump between the sea and the sky is in fact the island.
The old, ruined Aberdour jetty, made to look older by adding black and  white.  Once the centre for river traffic, ferries and holidaymakers.
Views of the mythical isle of Inchcolm set out in the Forth of Fifth or as we call it the Firth of Forth. It was the recent location of a magical family wedding. The island is a strange mix of the abandoned and the derelict and the stridently restored. Seagulls and puzzled explorers pick their way here and there in the remnants of the old abbey complex and Napoleonic and 20th century gun emplacements. The wind never stops blowing and the birds eye up unwilling targets, that's just the island life. All rather good and stiffly Scottish, the boat journey's pretty interesting also - as is the landing.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Obvious


Says it all really. Some things are just out there, hidden in plain sight.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Been playing this all my life

MAY 16
The act of arranging bacon strips on a frying pan in the most efficient way possible given the dimensions of your pan. The goal is to maximize the number of bacon strips on the heating surface without leaving any part of any strip uncooked.
"I have 100 square inches of bacon and only 36 square inches of frying pan area. Time for some Bacon Tetris."

In praise of black bananas

Some days life is just a steady, relentless set of missed opportunities, black bananas and misspelled blogging errors. Today I did have the time and inclination to repaint the badly painted and slightly embarrassing garage doors and somehow justify myself. Two great blue chunks of wood fitted, hinged and bolted into sympathetic holes grinning at me in a potential DIY sunny evening way. Alas, just as I'd digested the last of the Anster cheese and was about to revise my ongoing  ironing and kilt maintenance plans along came hail stones, rain and other general forms of warm Biblical pestilence. I imagined a leaf to be frog, blown grass to be locusts and midges to be scorpions, it was all over without the shouting. I resigned myself to a sober and unpainted fate and then watered the tomatoes and suicidal peppers in the conservatory whilst watching foolish people bidding endlessly on EBay for antique mandolins and banjos. Truly, the amusement never ends.


Garry Winogrand took this photo a while ago, probably part of a series and it's rather good and evocative I'd say. Nobody knows why she's holding her shoes, perhaps they don't belong to her at all.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Still life with anchovies


Today I've received most of my essential protein from anchovies, I hope the doseage works. I'll need all my fading faculties to get to grips with the new mobile phone that the confused pony tailed driver dropped off, in the exact time slot (as texted), this afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised at the smoothness of the transaction following last week's web based elongated ordering misery. So now I have the slim, dark and exciting smart phone. It's gleaming, modern and charging (asleep as it were) but we've yet to bond. A key point in relationships with the  inanimate technical objects that we use to connect us to the world; phones, Kindles, cars, laptops, web browsers and alcohol. If, even at this early stage we hit a snag then the marriage of man and machine can fail and stubbornly refuse to reignite the passion and promise that the first viewing on the web or on the forecourt suggested so strongly (the price must be a key factor here...). Clearly I need more anchovies, some red pepper dip and creamy chocolate cake.


Sunday, May 19, 2013

The A - Z of Grim


Dark & Macabre: I make no apologies for this, I am simply passing it on.  I think Winnie and Xerxes met with the grimmest of endings.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Piper at the gates of doom


I didn't realise that some dumb trash can metal band had used this name. I could still shed a tear over the original chapter and the other night, when the sun hit the trees... I remembered a day.