Mouse in the Laundry

 

What can best be described as a decorative, non-functioning mouse somehow made it's way into the laundry pile and then into the washing machine. Currently it's hanging by the tail on the drying line. I suspect that the kittens have been up to no good and that they using stuffed and inanimate rodents for hunting practice. It's never too soon to learn etc.

No Clear Idea

Absolutely no clear idea what this poster is actually about. I'm a man without a therapist, well certainly not a paid one. It's something I've never considered but for others it's pretty much a way of living and being. That's sad really. I'm also man lacking in what appears to be AI bird related images, kind of odd messages and a signed colour poster. Perhaps all this is famous or infamous elsewhere. The other side of the world or the internet. Nobody cares really. We've all got better things to do. So today it started as a white noise idea, moved onto pink noise and then ended as a keyboard duet on tabla drums. Nice.

Assuming Formlessness

This weeks small slab of buried wisdom: The word formlessness isn't one I often encounter. It's a useful word though. Formlessness is something worth aspiring to, at least as a temporary position. After all everything changes. Evolution takes place. We all know that, stay a step ahead, maybe that's a good approach. I can only assume.

Dangerous Breakfasts

 

Above: a brief reminder of our recent day away to darkest Kirkcaldy where after a fairly dull 90 minutes and a 1 - 1 score, DAFC won on penalties, a rare experience for the fans. The usual unruly Pars support was highly vocal despite getting soaked to the skin on the way into Stark's Park. Nice photo-bomb also from the two seagulls, briefly away from their natural environment; Morrison's car park.

Dangerous breakfasts: On the right we have toasted seeded Hovis and peanut butter, on the left the same bread but with tomato, quince fruit cheese and peppery seasoning. Turned out OK. 

White Backgrounds

Working on white(ish) backgrounds as part of a vague idea. To be honest there's not a great deal of actual work involved in this, mucking about would be a better description. The slow crawl of stuttering accidental encounters, trial and error to get to somewhere; somewhere that isn't obvious at the moment.

Three Kittens

 

Our three kittens have arrived: From top left anti-clockwise - Zippy (male), Lady Bungle (female) and Georgey (male). They are of course already creating kitten havoc in our once well organized and formerly relatively clean house. Of course they bring their own fun and love and joie de vivre so I'm not complaining.

The Universe Gives You Biscuits

 

Two consecutive posts about biscuits might make anyone think this writer is getting a bit too hung up on biscuits. After all they are (in the sweet form) a punctuation kind of a snack. A footnote in mid morning tea breaks, a thing to dunk and crumble into coffee in the afternoon. A treat after or before the main event. Gone in (less than) sixty seconds, leaving just a trail of plain crumbs or shards of chocolate, sticky bits between your teeth also. 

We could all live without them and many people do just that. They are luxury items that are taken for granted and are just more scoff, scran or filler to us, but strangely enough the universe has decided that we can have them. Just avoid calling them cookies, that's a (peculiar) type of biscuit, a genre or even aberration but not the whole model range.

Like biscuits I suppose that everybody has an opinion on Coca-Cola. It's a wild world. 

Multinational Corporations Win Again

 

No hiding place from the world of big business: A few years ago I swallowed up an advertising campaign for these French biscuits and quickly became addicted. Being French they somehow look and feel "authentic" but they're just another Coca-Cola or Mars Bar type of sugar bullet. I was riding on a product life cycle graph. Eventually things bottomed out and I quickly moved onto ... I can't remember to what exactly, some other snack that promised even greater self gratification. 

Then the other day without any warning a switch was pulled in my head and I wanted a LU biscuit, badly. Now I'm back to where I started, they taste good, seem fresh and I'm scoffing them (with a measure of self control) regularly. They have returned to my ever changing top ten of tastes and treats, for a while anyway. We are all slaves to our appetites.

Time Stretch

Help: Send help, trapped in a primitive digital time stretch situation. Quite unexpectedly. Actually don't bother with your help. I have plenty of time now that I've thought about it.

20kg Bag

Fairly Irrelevant Picture.

Just how much is a 20Kg bag of wild bird feed/food these days? I'm estimating that we use about 1Kg a day, pretty much all year round. Wild bird food prices are wild, wild birds are hungry. I think I got a good deal recently at a nearby garden supplier - £18 for 20Kg. That's 90p a Kilo. 

I also enjoyed the strangely remote style of the place, I was met only by a white and ginger cat and made the transaction on the phone and picked up the sack of feed from a bin as if it was some kind of contraband. No physical human contact at all. A business model built on mystery. Other suppliers are available, or so I understand. 

This is a really dull posting but dammit I'm quite proud of my 20Kg bag, even though it's now been decanted into smaller, more handy containers. How long will it actually last then? 

Art of the Scum

Interesting piece of live performance art "performed" by actual flowing water along with added, seasonal scum of an unknown origin. You can't beat a good bit of churning, violent scum. Can you see two lion heads, a Japanese carp, the West Coast of Scotland via Google Earth or a rainstorm over the Balkans?

Our industrial heritage lies tranquil enough, nestled in the foothills of some former glacial devastation. The weekly test of the "Major Incident" alarm system is about to be carried out. Even at this distance the actual content is incomprehensible but in real life it could be summed up as "Run like fuck!"

Walkers must remain calm and careful so as not to disturb the ducks and swans during their tea break (AKA 10:30 Smoko as they are of course well trained maritime creatures and highly professional). Normal duties will resume at 11:00 all being well.

West Lothian Daily Photo

 

Two things viewed from above and one directly from the front. The industrial and commercial past is all around, some titivated and working, some awaiting improvement. Nothing in life is ever really completed, it's all malingering at some sort of a stage where arrival and certainty are vague. A promise may still be kept even if it's forgotten. There may be degradation and ruin or the hope of improvement but even in the dust it hangs onto existence.

Kittens

We're getting three kittens. They actually look a little bit like these somewhat stylized ones. Grey, black and white mixes. We're not going with this choice of names however, that would never do and we wont be dressing them up either or transferring their images onto lighters. It's a low key kind of adoption but they will feature here in the blog-sphere from time to time.

Robots Speak

The assurance of the automatons: I find this kind of information oddly reassuring but still pretty unbelievable. This bunch whilst technically impressive all look like they are gathered in the window of some John Lewis branch for a seasonal sale that's heavily discounted. Things are likely to change however. Anybody who actually believes that the robot nation means us no harm is frankly deluded - and I don't think for a moment that any of the robots (built by fallible people to begin with), either here at the moment or still to come, are deluded either. One fine day they'll be smarter, stronger, quicker and standing right behind us all just waiting for us to get distracted by a cup of coffee or something ... hopefully this'll be around 2040 or so when I'm not around.

The Celestial History of Log Storage

Three days of building a log store from an old pallet and some timber bits and pieces. The old pallet arrived along with four car wheels and tyres I bought on eBay last year, good to up-cycle it. Thankfully I've not sustained any major injuries in the process, no sprains, strains or squashed fingers. That was a relief. I did swear a bit but failed to come up with any new terms. I'm just dog tired, sweaty and dehydrated. It's all age and questionable life style related, so it's my own fault.

The log store turned out OK, it looks reasonable, not too squint, not too unstable. It'll keep the logs dry and I can look upon it lovingly from time to time. On the Winter solstice the pale sun shines through the slats and beats down on the logs, feebly. It's yet to be put to the test on that, same goes for the summer setting(s). Here it is at a quarter full with the logs that lay bagged up in the garage. Now they're wild and free. We call it the Northern Log Store these days. The Southern one is a bit smaller and neglected. End of bulletin.

Minor Revelation

I don't miss not seeing the Wickerman movie. I watched it once and well that was that. Perhaps I should give it a second chance, it's a "cult" film after all, in more ways than one. I do however miss the Wickerman Festival that was once held in the countryside near to Dumfries. Sadly it no longer takes place. On rereading this I've just seen Dumfries as Dumb Fries for the first time. This cannot be unseen. Ever. 

"A large portion of dumb fries with truffle salt and parmesan drizzle please my good man. Also some mayo on the side if you will."

Bread, Moon, Mars.

After some simple retail research I can now reveal that Tesco invented the original breadstick, they may have also invented the original bread. Some of this could have occurred in Italy as food science developed (if the packaging is to be believed). The type of bread they came up with remains unclear, so they say.

Exclusive but inclusive: I've also designed a Moon buggy, it's primarily for use on Mars (never on the Earth or the Moon). You can drive it anywhere except into the ULEZ zone. That's zone-zone isn't it? It's non-compliant: see below.

While we're on the subject of ancient things and other planets, a very old, medieval map of the Martian surface has fallen into my hands and wider sphere of influence. I fully intend to pass it over to the authorities when I get a spare minute. On the illegible flip side it reads: "Red Planet/Dead Planet" for some reason. There are some serious security issues here. It's currently hidden in the Moon buggy's Moon glove box (next to the Moon gloves).

Meanwhile...

G Love

 

History but not as we know it: This is a rare and unlikely photograph of the lady who invented hand warmers and finger adornments. Taken in Vienna in 1798 it show Ms Gertrude Love in her grand Venetian study complete with a pair of her infamous gloves (believed to be prototype models). Ms Love's invention quickly caught on with the bright young things of Europe, the Home Counties and Australia. 

It was said that the cold hands and digits of the great royal houses of Prussia and beyond beat a golden path to the threshold of her business's tradesman's entrance. Inspired by the early works of Wagner she seldom looked back. Before long she was a destitute gin soaked alcoholic living in the streets of post revolution Paris and the rest, as they say, is of course history but not the reliable kind you were taught at school. 

McBoaty McBoatface

 

Here's a version of the original Boaty McBoatface leaving Rosyth and sailing out to sea past the Forth Bridges. The ship itself is named RRS Sir David Attenborough. The name B McB now belongs to one of the robot submersibles that are attached to the mother-ship. I've no idea where the ship is currently headed, I presume it will be doing some kind of valuable research into global warming or something similar, the results of which will be completely ignored by the government of the day - no doubt.

Dreadful Events

Perhaps more disturbing than dreadful. Distortions on the edges of reality. Pictures that make a person uncomfortable for no obvious reason. Having a questioning mindset. Having any mindset at all. Now I'm out on a limb. Being yourself is the greatest challenge an individual faces, particularly these days when there are so many possible versions. I'm maybe wrong there, being "yourself" may always have been one of mankind's biggest problems. Then some people are too much of them selves and just run riot. The me, me, me people; more salads, more sun. We're all exasperating. So there I was just having a quiet little inner ramble to myself...