Hosepipe at the End of the World

Here it is, not remote or far away but still beyond your reach. The single water pipe from which all of the H2O in the universe flows: and it's attached to a solitary tap which we control. Are we simply drunk with power? Yes, very much so, but however this goes, whatever the unintended consequences, let it be known that we mean no harm. 

Can't Explain

Self analysis can be either really good or a completely delusional waste of time or maybe not anything at all. So despite my ongoing serious misgivings about modern politics etc. I do feel better (?) now that the election is over and a new regime is in place. I hated the Tory churn of incompetent governments, maybe in hating them it affected me more that I knew, like some mystery disease stealing away peace of mind and clarity of thought, or living with a maniac hiding in your house. Perhaps that's an exaggeration, I don't know but they're gone for the time being. 

So I didn't vote for Labour but they won with a lot of odd numbers, a low turnout and some peculiar patterns of voting but I don't feel bad at all. Even if they make an arse of it, and they will in some areas, humans always do, for the moment it seems like some fresh and intelligent adults have walked into the room and are trying to renovate and redecorate it in a sensible way. I can't explain ... but it's not love, more like relief.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

(Library Photo).

Who'd Vote For This?

Life is good. That's a generalization I know but it's how I prefer to think of things. Mostly good but it could be better and we need to ensure we don't go backwards and yes, this country has been going backwards politically and also regressing economically and socially for a few years. Maybe today is the election day when some of the rot can be stopped. If you're voting and you sense any kind of red flag (and not the socialist kind) with a candidate then don't vote for them. We need decent people to run our stuff, making good laws, giving hope and support, just being kind even. None of that should be too much to expect from our politicians. Sadly it's not been the case recently so let's vote sensibly and get the bad cnuts out and replace them with better, capable and honest people. We'll see how it goes ... voting for the least worst is also acceptable, that's what I'll be doing.

Our little bit of greenery in the UK is important to us but meanwhile much of the world is on fire in a blaze that's unlikely to go out by itself.

Big Bum Wipe

Always a pleasant surprise to open up a plain and pedestrian brown cardboard box only to be stunned by the bright, radioactive, technicolour blaze of a set of neatly wrapped toilet rolls in regimented rows there inside. It seem's their main mission is to save an otherwise doomed race from itself, one big bum wipe at a time. It'd be nice if things were only that simple.

When We Dream We Sleep

Goat's milk salted locust chocolates, celestial money, a pack of playing cards, a metallic cigar stump, fake but nonetheless real red wine from a 1960's movie set and tiny fallen stars of Martian gold adorn God's favourite coffee table as he puts his feet up to watch the latest episode of "Idiots Abroad" on Planet Earth TV (with surround sound and omnipresent effects). 

The question is will you or perhaps a close friend or a familiar politician be the star of the show tonight? If you can (and it's not simple) you should tune in and see what's on offer. Maybe you've got other, better things to do.

Sometimes, and just for his own personal comfort and satisfaction, or so he says, God wears Himmler's black leather coat. He likes the dark image reflected back in a full length mirror. The shiny badges and insignia look cool to him. Some appetites can consume a person, particularly if you're alone for too long. There's real danger here. Use your vote wisely on the 4th.

Watching the Detectorists

Some nice fake post carded book cover types of art work here. Just fits so sympathetically well with the vibe of the TV series. Not sure who did it all but mucho kudos, admiration and credit.

The post title is (obviously) a slight play on "Watching the Detectives", a song by Elvis Costello. I did wonder that after five and a half thousand posts or so and twenty odd years of this, had I used this title before? I may well have but I can't be bothered to even check. What goes around etc.

Friendly Game

East Fife v Dunfermline: Bayview by Methil. A preseason friendly with decent pies. In the shadow of Largo Law and wind turbines, not quite picturesque but a nice backdrop. Well we were shit and lower division East Fife played us off the pitch. After the "early exit" Scotland experienced in the Euros it's tricky to maintain any kind of upbeat view on our local version of Scottish football. Negative play, a lack of player passion, repeating the same mistakes and so giving a sense that we don't really learn from the past and that we are somehow incapable of breaking out of this cycle. Maybe we just can't hack astro turf. Maybe this is as good as it gets for this generation, no more jumpers for goal posts etc.

For Dunfermline it's just the same approach that didn't get us anywhere last season other than feebly surviving in the league. I'd rather watch my team get beat 4 - 3 than 1 - 0. Fans need to feel that their team is capable of having a go despite the outcome. Players need to be free to play an attacking and entertaining game regardless of the consequences and managers should own that and take risks. OK, careful what you wish for but after the Scotland debacle and what looks to be a similar ongoing struggle for Dunfermline I know what I'd rather watch. 

A Light From The Past

As our house is built upon the remains of an ancient megalithic complex and a possible administrative hub, one that the archaeological establishment doesn't want you to know about ( it's that early human (?) advanced civilization that was wiped out 13000 years ago by the great flood and so on), well we're cherishing and protecting their ghosts and interests. In tribute we designed the Velux window in our kitchen roof to be fully lit up by the nearly setting sun on the evening of the Summer Solstice.

It just about works, we may have been a few days out in our calculations but in fairness we're not really an advanced civilization like those people before us (they probably came over from Atlantis). Maths and astronomy are not my strong points, just boiling eggs and cutting hedges really. We might have to do some re-orientating of things for next summer's events and then just watch the ancient magic happen.

Dunkable

Mostly this blog is seriously devoted to matters of real and intense intellectual significance; gaining philosophical insights, exploring deep spiritual truths, butchering the high arts, providing local music news and reviews, finely balanced arguments and explanations on anything, observing the spurious wonders of human nature and emerging attitudes across silos of popular opinion, absurd commentary, research into time travel fraud, seeking justice and explanation for the lowly Scots whilst taking a strong stance against tin pot politicians and hypocritical public figures. All of this and more, but I also like to review any passing biscuits from time to time, as pictured above. These Nutella offerings are OK: tasty and oddly enough quite dunkable.

A Short Space of Time

I'll be there in a Jiffy bag.

I was absent from school on the day they introduced the addition of fractions and I never did catch up.

I missed the bus that you were already on.

A moment.

Take a moment.

Leave a moment.

If I'd booked the table in advance we wouldn't be sitting here.

KY 2016

As my family roots are in the East of Fife I'm always interested in looking into the history of Scottish steam drifters from the early part of the last century. Many of my old relatives were involved in fishing, boat building, engineering and fish processing within the East Neuk and sometimes beyond. So this snippet about KY* 2016 "Sovereign" skippered by John Barclay in 1874 was good to find. Also of note is that the Receiver of Wrecks is a Mr Keay. Both of those names are pretty significant in my family history (obviously) so I presume that as they are from what were then very small communities; Cellardyke and Anstruther (or thereabouts) they must be relatives of mine. In my family timeline 1874 would mean that they were "great" relations (grand fathers, uncles etc.)

*KY means registered in Kirkcaldy, all the boats had registered numbers as well as names.

Cunning Stunts

 George the cat has come up with a cunning plan for catching birds.

Catatonic Squirrel

I spent about two hours yesterday observing this squirrel that appeared to be pinned against a wall, frozen still, high up, near to the top of the building next door. Not a place where squirrels usually hang out. At first I actually thought it was one of our cats, it was making a meow kind of sound. Then it stopped meowing and the animal seemed to just zone out and freeze while clinging onto the wall. Was it in distress, stuck, trapped, injured? I don't know but after a while it just moved across to the top of the drainpipe and hung there for a bit. Then, whilst I was not looking it must've returned to earth. It was seen running across a nearby garden looking healthy and normal. I've seen many squirrels do lots of things (mostly attacking bird feeders) but I've not seen this peculiar frozen behaviour before. Answers and expert views on a postcard please ...

Thoughtless and Reckless Energy Generator

Another scientific project I'm working on in my virtual shed: The thoughtless and reckless energy generator. It's powered by invisible cosmic marvels, a new source of power that's both cheap and clean but it does require the use of a dark mind. If you have a dark mind and wish to invest then this might be of interest. The trials are underway at the moment, subject to set up costs being secured and some risk assessments working out. I'm hoping to leverage finance from the alternative sources of dark minded capital formerly known as the troupe of western alchemists. They are difficult to reach and may well be extinct by now or frozen in some cryogenic suspension. We'll see. The undead can still have their uses.

House of the Dragon - Teams

House of the Dragon has returned, so we have Season Two: Apparently there are two teams. I suspect it's not as simple as that. Fantasy fiction just grows plots and sub plots with every turn of the script/page. This is a very powerful franchise and they know exactly how to operate it for maximum impact. I'm onboard with that and realistically cynical too. I'm team black by the way but my opinions, like my principles, are all subject to change and regular review.

Nameless and Frameless

Jazzy and stimulating but not every art lovers cup of tea: Frameless in London by Marble Arch (itself covered in canvas). Here art (the populist kind that pretty much everybody can recognize) meets technology and inner space with a bolted on soundtrack. It mostly works for me but I'd prefer it if there was more consideration given to a quieter, peaceful viewing/experience. Kids running about, people chatting and pretty much ignoring what's happening and an acute sense of the dim witted public not quite knowing what to do with itself is just plain irritating after a while. 

Good idea, well executed but it needs more varied, less popular source material and some stricter guidelines and limits on audience's (?) uncontrolled behaviours. I do sound a fuddy duddy here but it annoys me when people talk loudly, invade space and relentlessly film at gigs and other public events with no consideration for the enjoyment of those others just trying to take in the wider content. Hell is other people getting in the way of your own little bit of fun. Recommended anyway.

Future or maybe even current K-Pop starlets film a video on a chilly evening in King's Cross marketplace. As their sound was muted we couldn't quite understand what was going on. They had all the right moves and the right looks which these days unfortunately only conveys some kind of glossy modern anonymity. I wish them well.

The Coal Yard market itself was fun, a mixture of possibly spoof science/art installations (I can't really tell what's real and what's not these days) and stalls selling niche and handcrafted  "marketable" foods and other stuff at reasonably unreasonable prices. The exotic food and drink stalls looked good but we'd already eaten and little did we know but more street food was to come our way later on in the evening. Yum.

London Daily Photo

 Some London images from the weekend, but in no particular order: The army are out in numbers with their very nervous horses and a police escort who seem intent on winding up both the animals and any stray pedestrians who get in the way. It was an uncomfortable spectacle to watch. Sirens blaring and officers shouting orders across the street, the police were heavy handed and disrespectful but this is London after all and there's always tension in the air. The army and their clattering field guns passed by eventually; it's the King's official birthday and this is normal. To be honest I can't either respect or support any of the Royal Family's business anymore. I see them only as spoiled and aloof parasites and loathe the sycophantic nature of the British press and media's coverage of their activities.

A highly modified banjo hanging up on wire for reasons that completely baffle me. I think it's art but who knows?

In an Irish pub in London Kings Cross watching Germany v Scotland. Of course it was not the best night's footballing entertainment I've seen. There was an odd muted atmosphere in here with a smattering of German fans, another lonely Scot and I and various English fans (I assume) who hardly paid attention to the sporting carnage that was unfolding. Memorable for all the wrong reasons.

There are green spaces in the King's Cross area, along by the canal squeezed between buildings and developments, probably as a token and a gesture towards urban renewal and the existence of some kind of wilder areas. Keep the users and residents on side - it may have said that in the small print of the project material. I'm not completely sure what "wild" really is on brownfield sites, lots of weeds and grasses sprouting up but I guess it's better than just more concrete and paving. I did spot traces of the insidious Russian Vine creeping into the well established ivy's patch. That's something that won't end well. I can say that from bitter, personal experience.

Thirty Seven Minutes After Sushi

I hear there's an election coming.

I'm just not feeling it.

They say it's general.

But not genial.

Pay for coffee.

Paper coffee.

Pay per coffee.

With no typing errors.

Everything is serious.

Nobody listens.

Or learns from history.

None of that makes you a victim.

Unless you choose to be one.

So.

Buy a T shirt.

Bridge Too Far

Guitar bridge modifications heading in reverse: Nobody told me that the bridge set up on (probably all regardless of make) LP Juniors was a complete bugger of a thing. This bridge is non standard and promises a bit more than it delivers, however the one I was planning to replace this one with turns out to be even worse despite seemingly offering better adjustments. One more time and I'm another eBay "special" victim. I should be used to this by now.

So one size does not fit all. Outside dimensions, however similar they may be don't mean something will fit. So I had a bit of a swear fest over this. In the end I compromised with some new and old bits making up a "better" solution. I'm not sure if it is, but I'll tell myself it is. 

So to sum up; to put on new strings, set up the action and then set the intonation just involves too much faffing about and repeatedly taking things apart, detuning and putting things back together with fiddly Allan keys. It's fine once it's set up but basically it's a bad piece of design and impractical for regular use. End of lesson. 

P.S. Some guys in Memphis have invented a compensating bridge for Juniors - a clever idea but it's over $100 plus postage so I'll get by just fine without it.