West Lothian Daily Photo

Without giving away the exact location of this vessel I can say that it's at least a 45 minute drive away from the sea or any serious body of water on which it might float. However if given the chance it's unlikely that it would float. Sometimes you just happen upon something and think, there's a back story here but I'm never going to know quite what it is or what set of circumstances led up to this "thing" being where it is today.

I often notice old cars up in driveways with grimy windows, body covered in moss, tyres deflated, grass growing all around. These vehicles haven't moved for years and never will. There are two Mitsubishi cars like that near to where I live, same model, one red and one white. Abandoned in plain sight and now reduced to useless and unintended garden furniture that's slowly rotting. 

What's the cause? Is it a death, depression, money troubles or just not caring anymore? Maybe these things just don't matter, maybe they're a common expression of human carelessness and so stay unseen, like litter in a Burger King car park, road signs obscured by vegetation or the trash on the edges of the motorway. It's there, we pass it by like it's really nothing to do with anyone. 

Don't Let The Bastards etc.

Be sure to like and share this post* if you've ever woken up in the morning with a bit of a buzzy throat but the sun is peeking through the curtains so you're mostly OK with the world but still harbouring a nagging thought: 

"They may take our winter heating allowance (not actually sure what's happening in Scotland though, time will tell) but they'll never take our egg chairs."

*Aye, right.

Below is a portrait (later in life) of the redoubtable Mr Albert Rennie Mackintosh Egg of Kirkintilloch, creator and inventor of the suspended garden egg chair. One of science's better leaps forward.

Umwelt

Art inspired by Umwelt*, up to a point: An over arching and inclusive term for all the unique environmental influences that might be shaping an individual's behaviour, or the environment as it is experienced by the individual. Forget common or shared experiences.

The word was introduced in 1909 by the Estonian biologist Jacob Johann von Uexküll (1864–1944) in his book Umwelt und Innenwelt der Tiere (Environment and Inner World of Animals). In phenomenology and existentialism it is the environment as it is experienced, also existential analysis, existential therapy and other mind numbing concepts if you dare. Compare Eigenwelt, Mitwelt. 

*From the German Umwelt environment, from um around + welt world.

First thing in the morning, the bathroom floor.

You focus on the mediocre.

You have been here before.

The middle of the day and you're on a sugar high.

You may need a drum kit and a hot air balloon.

Evening: everything in it's place and the world is at peace.

None of this will last.

Should you dare, close your eyes as if to sleep.

My world makes very little sense right now.

How are your dull little worlds doing?

Gentleman Ben

I'm not sure if he was killed off or cancelled or just rebranded because of some (obvious to everyone else) global branding issue. I don't keep up with these things, the world moves in mysterious ways but clearly the steadfast Uncle Ben has been deleted in both name and image. For the detached and discombobulated consumer like me it's kind of sad as I thought he was OK and that he knew his rice etc. all in a purely fictitious way. I feel I'm treading on thin and sparkly razor sharp ice here. 

What other advertising icons that we once knew, loved and misunderstood have met with a similar fate? The Milky Bar Kid, has he hung up his chocolate guns? Maybe the Michelin Man's gone flat too, and no I don't believe Britain should return to the values of the 1950s, hanging should come back, kids should learn tedious hymns in school or that at some golden point in time the British state was ever a just, honest and fairly run regime.

Green Harvest

This is art of a kind.

This is some kind of art.

Simple things.

 A seasonal diet with variations.

Fresh from the garden.

We have a degree of independence.

Small scale food security.

A stash of logs.

Solar power and water.

Compost heaps.

➕

The actual quantities are small.

Potatoes, peas, strawberries, apples, pears, plums.

Some are not really edible.

Berries - never sure about berries.

Not everything yields successful results.

Tiny creatures eat freely.

We call them pests.

Pests are just trying to survive.

Who are the real pests?

➕

We've no clear idea what we're doing.

Gremlin Cat

It's a few days ago now but Saturday's gig went well, it was good fun with a great crowd of people in for the night and ready to party. Hot and sweaty too. Any live set always has a few howlers and moments of less than perfect sound but we survive and move on. The fold back was burping in and out all because of some worn out leads being used ... my fault but I decided to blame it on the cat's arse or maybe her claws as she spent a fair bit of time rolling around in my box of cables earlier in the day. Replacement leads have now been received from Amazon's mega storage vault in Siberia.

My small corner and small set up.

Gig pics CBQ & EP.

Noise Gate

The people salute the rule of the noise gate: A cheapish noise gate has been installed onto the pedal board*. A blunt instrument some might say or even a waste of space but how else do you tackle the hum? Like guitar god tinnitus it's a disease without a proper cure. So we're perpetually chasing the hum, finding the source and then exterminating it, we hope. This futile pursuit is all guitar player's common mission. There are lots of suggested solutions; shielding, extra shielding, shielding tape, shielding paint, copper tape, expensive leads, higher quality equipment, better pickups, pedal board layout and sequence, going deaf, doing nothing and just giving up altogether. 

In truth you can only get so far because the hum will return as you increase the gain, treble, volume or add pedals and effects etc. I did think for a bit that humbuckers would buck the hum, strangely they don't really. A single P90 seems to work best for me at the moment; it's likely the universe will reverse the effect quickly and I'll be back with the full on hum. Rubber soled shoes might be the best next step, combined with a tinfoil hat and assorted wire cutters.

*This information is well over a week old but so what?

Amateur Agony Aunt

 Number one in what is probably quite a short series:

No.

The Hessler Nowik Liminal Conundrum

What does it all mean? New album of original music and soundscapes from Cloudland Blue Quartet, hear it here. There's a lot going on in the process of creation and naming of this album that I just can't explain. Please click onto the Bandcamp link above and all (?) might be revealed or you may well still remain somewhat confused. It's a great title anyway and I had a small amount of input by coming up with the original artwork (somewhat modified for the final product).

Live and Almost Dangerous

Happening tonight at the Leith Dockers Club in Edinburgh, from 8pm. Capital models are playing live. Free entry, reasonably priced booze and some pretty fine, eclectic electric music for the heart, mind and soul. You can dance if you want to.

South Queensferry Daily Photo

It's 1400 at the Dharma Cafe and it has only four cinnamon buns and two sandwiches left to sell - will they be sold before closing time? Everything is up in the air as the contractors arrive to dig into the cobbles. Would you rather have three corgis or three kittens to look after? Wrong answers only. The weeds are getting out of control according to experts and residents. Somebody, about whom we know nothing, appears to have fallen over in our garden and then escaped, hopefully none the worse. Many consider the repairs to the pier to be a bit of an unfinished project. After a while people don't think that queuing for ice cream on a chilly afternoon isn't a strange thing to be doing. Elsewhere the stonemasons have finished their dusty tasks so now it's over to the painters to paint. For others sitting outside Orocco Pier on a metal seat with a pint of beer isn't really a good look, hardly Parisian chic or Barcelona style but it's all that's available to us here. Never actually done it myself. There was no cruise ship in yesterday so the bagpipers are unemployed again. Meanwhile in the garden of earthly delights we give the peas a chance and observe the alien mutants in the undergrowth.

Mini George

Big George meets Mini George, his ceramic doppelganger. Mini George is not so active and demanding as his larger double and needs a lot less attention. George, the big one, should really have been called Steve, as in Steve McQueen. He is the great escape artist in our clutch of cats. Up and over hedges, fences, gates and then getting stuck in precarious spots apparently in need of urgent rescue ... then not.

How it Started

A sequence of events and another how it started v how it all resulted in tragedy post: and in the end quite obviously summing up how it's all not really going so well in the here and now. The unintentional consequences of tampering with things that should be tamper proof but aren't. Illicit tampering changes lives and history to the point where you just can't get as comfortable as you'd like on your own version of some random but tasteful (pink?) couch anymore. We are all hapless victims as far as AI is concerned ...

South Queensferry From Above

A bit of somebody's Queensferry garden viewed from above as HMS Queen Elizabeth sails by, somewhere over to the left where there is a significant body of water and available tug support. The sun is determined to mostly stay behind clouds at the moment hence the deep sense of gloom amongst the green. We've no control over this. Black and white cat detail added for scale and orientation.

Rum cake (also from above). It was very kindly given to us by someone fairly recently, this year most likely. It came in a tin, all the way from the Western Isles of Scotlandshire and turned out to be rather crumbly and also rather good. Thank you, great cake benefactor.

Good Advice

Some framed up good advice found in a public place in a public space and I'm sure that it's been duly observed and taken seriously many times by now. Proper cows and dairy farm workers everywhere are of course eternally grateful. Somehow though the core message doesn't quite flow as was intended.

As it's summer time in Scotland (?) with all the exotic and esoteric fuss and colour that summer here suggests,  I'm now going easy on myself and maintaining seasonally adjusted low levels of creativity and commitment to things in general. In a nutshell nothing has really changed. If I really enjoyed beer I'd be enjoying one right now but instead I'm having coffee time elevenses with no added anything. Here's another goofy thing I pulled from a wall.

Early Dawn of the Mushrooms

We're growing mushrooms now. There's a special space in the garage that's not a garage. Still at the early stages and so no deadly spores yet. It's a new hobby. This variety is known as "The Bishop's big bag of Hula-Hoops". Very tasty when fried up I'm told. Above is a few days ago, image below was taken yesterdayish.

Creepy

 

Creepy images from a sunny visit to West Lothian's Jupiter Artland. It's been a while since my last visit and a lot has been developed and changed. There's a fair bit of walking involved in seeing all the new material and displays but I enjoyed it. The rain stayed in the distance for a change. Plenty of photo friendly material and sharp back grounds too. You can tell the Insta and Tick-Tock faithful easily, all hanging out in sharp clothes and bare feet, posing and shooting scenes in these unique spaces. All very entertaining.

Cat Controls

Where did it all go wrong? Two thirds of the local cat population have decided that the kitchen work tops are an essential part of their territory if they happen to be chasing flies, or even just observing them at a safe distance. Clearly this cannot stand ... (in the immortal words of the Dude). In the morning I'll be sending them a strongly worded memo about the household's standards of behaviour and hygiene expected from felines.

Fried Eggs Without Crinkly Bottoms

Making fried eggs with crinkly, crispy bottoms is something I cannot do. I didn't really realise that many people like the crinkly bottom and that chefs take pride in preparing them this way. I thought that crispy, brown fried eggs were just over cooked. Turns out I was wrong. It's quite the thing with the experts on YouTube and Tock-Tick (or Toxic as some might say). Now I quite fancy one but just can't make it, the oil is not hot enough apparently and I can't cross that line without getting the rattlesnake wrist shakes. I think it's an OCD boundaries problem but I can stir fry chicken and veg so it doesn't make sense. 

Moving on from that here is this years arrangement of "summer" logs in the seasonally prepared fire place. Lit up and glowing but not a flame or any proper heat source is involved in the static display piece. Emergency (proper) logs are currently on order as we prepare our back up stocks for the up and coming Hundred Years War part two.

Future Diaries

This strange message has just been released from the team of monitors monitoring the cult known as "Palace of Forever": 

"I was unusually close to partaking in the red and green delights of the "all you might consider eating" salad bar when a mild but noticeable electrical current passed through me from an unknown source. Everything thereafter was blank except for the timely arrival of a rescue dog sniffing through the rubble. The weather has been somewhat unstable lately with alien activity reported and low cloud (Ground Level +3.5). Those may have been contributing factors." 

"I'm quite confident that a good night's sleep at home in bed will repair any physical damage although my phone is reluctant to switch itself back on and the lawnmower seems to blocked up with milk chocolate. There's a peculiar odour in the air that I can't quite place. The sequence of highly destructive images (above) were freely taken from a door bell camera across the street that was somehow pointing in the wrong direction. I write this unsure of what to do when I awake tomorrow, as I imagine you may well be also, dear reader."  - Message Ends.