Fife Coastal Past

The petrified remains of the Great Caledonian Forest reach down to the muddy northern shores of the Forth. Not many people know that. (Note petrified dug out canoes emerging from the silt and sand by the waterline).

Petrified remains: in petrified detail. 

Apart from inventing the text message, BT engineers also have devised a special code they've now launched. It works  by branding telephone poles with coded information and strange runes. The method allows those with the knowledge to navigate across the UK using only the sun's position in the sky, the pole number, an OS map and a copy of the Daily Telegraph crossword puzzle page.

Clumps of the rare and very tasty Forth Marsh Grass. This is used in Sunday lunches as a local delicacy and often served hot with  lumpy Bisto, spare ribs and great flowing spoonfuls of steamed cabbage. I am told that the digestive effects of this treat are "electric". Also available at all good BP Wild Bean Cafes  within a 10 mile radius of the M90 - subject to availability.

A long awaited shipment of Korean smart phones heads up to Grangemouth to be unloaded and distributed around the high streets, opium dens and old people's homes of Central Scotland. Previous shipments have been subject to U-Boat attacks in the English Channel; a situation that currently has a news blackout running, believed to be enforced by Apple and the English wing of the provisional BBC.