Cat Laxative

Based on possible money saving veterinary advice I was out in the big bad world seeking a suitable laxative for an unwell cat. The vet said that it was best to go to a regular human pharmacist and buy a certain unflavoured brand. A small measure of this should "do the trick". I found it hard to locate stock of the item in (Puss in) Boots the Chemist but eventually came upon another pharmacist with some. Unfortunately I blurted out that I intended to use it on a cat (based on a vet's advice). Immediately the shutters came down and I was told in a fairly polite but firm manner that I could not purchase the product. The pharmacist lurking behind the shop assistant had overheard me say I needed it for a cat. "We can't sell medicines to you here if you are going to use them on animals, it's not allowed" she whispered. 

I realized I'd now crossed over into another world, one where the secret rules of drug retailing are applied. I was unaware that this code of conduct existed but I could tell they wouldn't or couldn't give way on it. Feeling like some sort of mad, animal experimenting scientist I left the shop dizzy from the experience. Obviously there are many rules out there that I know nothing of when it comes to animals and medication. I was surprised that Brexit measures hadn't fucked over this obviously evil European derived red tape yet. I should perhaps inform Douglas Ross MP, the great Tory zoomer and idealist.

I'd no option but to go to the next local chemist and, without disclosing my true reasons, try to buy a pack. Fortunately they had stock hidden deep behind the counter and I managed to keep my mouth shut and the beads of sweat on my forehead under control. I should add that this laxative only comes in monster packs of 32 sachets. One sachet would provide about a dozen cat sized doses. So is the vet just having a laugh? And who the fuck actually needs that much laxative? Anybody need a life long supply of laxative?

The next problem is tracking the cat's whereabouts and wanderings in the garden to find out if it actually worked. Life is a constant struggle.