*The prostate of King Charles III has grown to truly regal size
And if you're unfortunate enough to witness it
You'll not believe your eyes.
The Daily Mail says "let us pray for the royal family's health"
For they matter more than you.
The eventual downfall of those parasites
Would be the best thing to pursue.
But as a fellow sufferer I know a little bit
How a king size feckin' prostate will make you really sick
And frustrate and annoy your personal rhythm stick
(Please note for future comment: I avoided saying prick).
One day you piss against a wall
One day you just piss blood
One day you cannot piss at all
Prostate like a Jersey spud.
They'll insert tubes and pipes and drains
You just want rid of it
With surgery and lasered pain
You'll really feel like shit.
Even though it's technically a urology problem.
*My unofficial bid to become Poet Laureate for 2024.
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