Dystopian Meritocracy

There, I've said it and that's what we've got or at least what we're headed towards. The Mail and Express readers, the UKIP supporters and their bigoted allies, those who voted for Brexit 'cos it seemed like a bit of fun, the politically lost, older ex-liberals and staunch Tories who fail to see the writing on the UK wall that's collapsing onto their heads. Thank you all very much. Now there's no more reasonably priced Marmite for the time being.

Pink is not the colour

Dear Satan* (and also the Scottish Football Association),

Exactly what is it that you think is attractive about kitting out football players in pink strips? As a "national sporting colour" and that's a term I've come up with myself, it simply doesn't work. I'd also add that grey, purple, electric green and brown do not work either, so it's not that I've got anything against pink. I'm also not saying that the pink strip made a significant contribution to our defeat last night but I doubt it helped and it does colour yet another Scottish sporting tragedy in an unflattering manner. 

P.S. That team is pish as is their manager and they're going nowhere fast. However should they, by some miracle or act of god actually qualify for something, I'll gladly wear that daft pink strip for a week.

Here's an example of a good football strip for reference:

* I'm not saying that Satan sits at the helm of the SFA but you can never tell. He's certainly currently  doing well in the Conservative Party, the Daily Mail and in the fast food industry.

Robots in disguise

Oops, looks like they are back, on the run and possibly living locally.

View from the office

Prostrate Hypertrophy: Not a term that I was familiar with until yesterday when I woke up in hospital discovering I had it. All pretty common in a fellow of my age but still strange to discover you're a victim. So as it turns out the NHS is pretty good and the people who helped me were first class. I'm still not right but I'm not as wrong as I was when I was admitted to hospital on Sunday just a few hours after winning the Saturday night pop quiz in a local pub. First there's triumph then, just to keep the universe in balance it's followed by some tragedy, or at least an unpleasant experience. So I'm back home now, operating at a much slower pace and as ever being looked after and kept right by my dear wife. Further procedures are in the pipeline in order to clear the pipelines but that's not something I'm planning to worry about; I'm rejoicing in being in the system, eating bananas on toast and drinking plenty of liquid in order to flush out my radiators and oil filters. The future is as bright as ever and even a short stay in hospital (my first since the dark ages of 1963) has reminded how well off I am health wise and how valuable our free health care is.

Saturday

Activities: fixing the gate, pointing walls, painting posts and the gate, clearing up, cycling along by Torry Bay and recycling. Glad it was a sunny afternoon. Phew. Pub quiz next.

Garden Gate

Gate - note unfinished posts, under construction.

Days, weeks, months, possibly years in the making. The garden gate is now almost in place. The stubbornly awkward to replace old post has been replaced by an exact replica and is currently screwed and cemented in place. All we need to do is to wait on the mortar drying out and then the new gate can be hung on it's new hinges and everything will be new and gate-shape, as it were. Even I was shocked to discover how good (almost anyway) the gate fitted the gap after a long drawn out measuring, ordering and custom gate building process. Next dry day the gate gets itself well and truly hung.

Faulty Knausgaardian reasoning

Hmmn, so the new book has arrived fresh from the dusty but well stocked but randomly organised shelves of Mr Amazon's Emporium. What a to do. Should I quit my tempestuous little job, stall the fitting of the awkward gate even more and avoid ironing and basic hygiene for a few days so that I can find the space and appetite for a little alcoholic lubrication and this book. I'll add it to the list of numerous outstanding things and try to find a proper time slot for it's consumption in my busy if slightly fractured schedule.

Jelly Meet Whiskers

JELLY, MEET WHISKERS

Why did the people at Whiskas drop the Jellymeat from Jellymeat Whiskas? It may not be as snappy as Whiskas but it has more of a gangster/badass lilt to it that plain old Whiskas. It was all so long ago...great band name though.

Only robots read this

And so it is written that in the Last Days/Revelation/End Times/Rapture/Doomsday (delete as applicable) a great portent will appear like a flash of lightning from the west to the east and then the Beast shall arise and be seen clearly by all mankind, those saved and those unsaved. It will take the form of yet another beast etc. etc. you can never tell. Anyway don't panic yet.

October salad

A close up of a plain salad looks a bit like the bottom of  the sea or equally a lot like a plain salad. We added a fish cake or two for extra sophistication. This is the season of made up midweek meals eaten later in the evening than they should be while we pose topical questions; who are the USA vice-presidential candidates? Why is the headline in Time ambiguous? What is Putin actually up to? Are the Tories really bad people or really just very stupid people from wealthy backgrounds? Are the fishcakes warm enough? Do we have enough projects on the go or should we have one more and add it to the list?

Getting over a rainbow

This rainbow remained stuck  in position and on duty for at least five hours on Saturday, is this a record?

So it's time to come down both physically and mentally from the heights reached over the weekend, there with the all day rainbows, the sheer drops to certain death and a quick pint of shandy in Aberfeldy. (As a younger man I did the Aberfeldy half marathon twice achieving respectable times (1hr 35m or so) on both outings), that esoteric level of fitness and the quasi-mulleted look that went with it has long gone. Now, after one Munro my legs feel like mature Swiss Cheese with extra holes drilled in. I did however manage a few speedy laps of the fulfilment centre today powered by a fruit and cereal diet that will no doubt restore the burned up muscle and the petered out stamina to something like normal levels...for a racoon.

Schiehallion

Alien markings carved into rocks at the summit using alien lasers and suchlike (my theory). 

A grand vista

Loch Tummel and few clouds gathering.

Tough day yesterday, tougher than a day at the big A but possibly not as tough as a Tough Mudder day. So it was my first Munro ascent in about thirty five years. Turns out the old dog still has no new tricks and an old man has no new ideas but some degree of life left in him but it was tough. Did I say that?  The last of our four family hillwalks this year and like all the others the weather was great, the conditions good and the views from the summit were wonderful and the people perfect. Next year we plan to go further and higher until one day we all just walk off, disappear into some strangely glowing cloud and go to be with our own personal god.

The ritual passing of the blagged Tennants lager can.

Glueing the leg onto a frog

At large in the bowels of Edinburgh; capital city apparently. Location thought to be in the area around Fountainbridge, saw a bridge or two but no actual fountain.

Special thanks today go to Amazon for buying me a replacement car key (almost).

Rain and the use of the wrong size of screw caused a minor set back to the replacement gate post project.

There is some internet debate as to how best spell glueing/gluing, I'm stuck. Oh and here's the frog in question.

No frogs were injured, abused or badly treated in the creation of this blog post however my thumb and index finger were stuck together for a short and irritating period of time.

Snakes alive

When you use a set of colour coded crocodile leads to test all the possible options to try to get the coil tap and phasing on a humbucker figured out and working...and then you just think, maybe I'll just go with the single coils after all and so lead a simpler and less stressful life.

Seasonal spiders

It's that time of year when for some possibly climate related reasons we start to get spiders milling around in the house. Looking all lost and unemployed because of the demise of the flies and other buzzing insects, they scuttle here and there and annoy you in the shower; so the spiders are clearly at a bit at a loose end. They also spin lots of webs in a somewhat futile attempt at showing good industry, they set them across doorways and on car  mirrors. I guess it's a desperate situation for them as the bide their time till next spring when more edible bugs come out. Anyway I took the opportunity to sketch a few in a less than realistic style albeit I've credited all of the beasts with having eight hairy legs, not quite so accurate in the eye department though. Yesterday's more comprehensive post also includes one rendering.

Creativity on a limited budget

Folds

Spider No1

Here's two rather fine art forms I've produced some time over the last 24 hours whilst travelling the length and breadth of the country and also looking after two of my grandchildren. Safe to say neither of the pieces have been an unqualified success as yet but neither have they been pilloried or criticised by the wider art establishment as bits of talentless crap (which they may well be). In the end it's all in the eye of the beholder and to some extent a bit of a joke (the art establishment's power and judgement that is) because all I'm presenting are uneducated scribbles that I quite like but ones that have no real craft or skilled composition or concept behind them. Once they're on the web though and in the files of Google they are magically granted eternal life and the gravitas that comes with romantic obscurity.

Apple harvest

Yesterday was all about the stewing and freezing of vast amounts, well two half full trugs worth of our annual apple crop, fresh from the trees plus a few from the ground. Now they are frozen in a quick and fresh fashion so as to sustain us through the North Korean attacks and the general global turbulence that will affect all and sundry come deepest 2017. It's not much of a plan but better then nothing.

Outliving

There are a few obvious names missing from the list (notably the various 27 Club members)  but I'll not bother with them. If Keef considers himself to be immortal and/or indestructible then who am I do disagree. Then again he may simply be one of the undead, out there, active and walking amongst us with ice cold black blood sliding through his thin and tiny veins and hot blue electricity shooting around in his brain.

Happening right now

"Fetch me Corbyn, Solo and the Wookie"

Stolen from:  trouteyes Retweeted

trouteyes ‏@trouteyes  Jul 8

Fetch me Corbyn, Solo, and the Wookie.

The culmination of which

Up with the lark this morning, out on the road and an early, pleasant  breakfast was had at the Yellow Coloured Cafe in Rosyth consisting of a bacon and egg roll, coffee and a view of fields and the many housing schemes that make up Rosyth.

Home in good time to pick apples and to discover this fellow hanging in the apple tree, presumably placed there some time ago by some family joker. He seems happy enough so I left him there. It did remind me of my ongoing mission to spend my kid's inheritance on various stupid things culminating in the funding of a project to successfully send a Scottish (Scottish based that is and by some form of animal adoption) monkey to either the Moon or Mars (which ever is easier to reach). As a piece of work it may take a bit of time to fully put it together but this summer's visit to NASA in the USA has proved to be inspirational. 

These are the apples picked today from the two apple trees, not a bad haul for a year's worth of growing and us doing nothing really. They will be food processed shortly.