Touched by the Hand of EVH

 

"Stage played" by Eddie himself.

I took a second look at the auction site selling Clapton's Fool modified Gibson SG, it's everywhere in Insta and FB. There's a lot of other stuff, equipment, keyboards, clothes and costumes, back stage passes etc. I guess as this generation passes on, more and more of this rock and roll debris will wash up from the  bottom of the deep sea that covers most of the drowned wreckage. Some people will make a lot of money, mainly the auction houses. A few roadies and hangers on might too if they gathered up things wisely at the time and also those family members that didn't quite stay onboard the gravy train but held onto some evidence.

This Van Halen "stage played" Kramer is expected to go for $60k or so. Not my thing but it'll eventually hang on some Hard Rock Cafe or investment manager's wall I guess, awaiting the next auction and further projected profit. Hard to imagine what future music stars might auction; the phone it was all recorded on, a sticker covered Mac-book, used VIP vapes, the WhatsApp message tree where the lyrics were written or the passwords for the AI platform that composed the tune?

Desktop Daily Photos

The process of slowly delving into my recent screenshots and finding that not only are they pretty random but also pretty meaningless and inconsequential in their comings and goings. Like sparrows landing on a chimney pot. Proof that I don't really know what I'm doing at any given time as I fiddle on the web. 

The shot above commemorates a mild eBay related spat I had with Yodel, or was it the Chinese Mafia? I'm unsure who was the real power player or solution in the problem. Some badly worded Chinese emails didn't help clarify the delivery, particularly as the item was supposed to be coming from London or thereabouts. It eventually arrived about a week late after suffering some jumpy teleportation problems back and forth at the "local depot". I gave them a 😕 review.

A "Fife Jammer" Kirkcaldy based daily photo and is pretty much self explanatory. This represents a typical day on the roads anywhere.

A famous guitar is up for sale this month. It's a little out of my price bracket. The paint job is in my opinion quite rough but interesting and it does have an incredible history and arguably represents some of Clapton's best playing days. The infamous "woman tone" sound is forever associated with it. Now if it was his Sunburst "Blind Faith" Telecaster with the Strat neck ... I still couldn't afford it.

As an experiment I joined Vimeo and so far nothing has really happened. Then again I'm not one for excessive self promotion and maybe not a good fit for the platform. A drop in a vast bucket I suppose. These zero scoring videos are of course part of a selection you can also find on YouTube here.

Peony Painting

Something to lull you into a peaceful state of careless wonder - a painting of some Peony flowers about to open up and bloom. Things, it seems can only get better. There can be tranquility and reflection and sometimes it's good (as the poem goes) to simply stop and stare.

Miners Undermine the UK

 

As Albert Einstein once famously said "fuck this shit". First it was the miners who undermined the UK and conveniently and at some personal cost brought coal up from the ground as they did it. Well Thatcher put paid to that idea with her economic miracles, now other "miracles" are planned most likely using AI. You can't undermine the UK, if you do you'll be labeled as an extremist. So that's the end of truth I suppose. The thing is, and I hate to point out the obvious, but the UK has been undermining itself for years and this undermining has noticeably accelerated during the Tories stupidly negative 13 years of power. 

Hailed far and wide as a failed state, a political joke or just plain cruel, twisted and corrupt across the world the UK is simply a global embarrassment. In parallel with the Tories self destructive policies I have to admit that in my thoughts, but not generally in my actions, I too have undermined the UK and I quite enjoyed doing it. It's what happens when you feel voiceless and helpless and the (at times dim) national beacon of moral responsibility is finally stubbed out by those who claim to know better.

All I need do is reflect on any of the following:  The legal system, the taxation and financial system, the education system, the class system, health, welfare, environment, industry, immigration, media and defence that have all been destroyed or changed beyond reasonable recognition in my own short lifetime. Even before that it was none too fine either as the UK writhed in the death throes of a delusional colonial power fix, overdosing on it's own vanity and bloody mindedness. The thing is - They Brought It All On Themselves (The Greedy Bastards). So who is an extremist these days?  Probably every right thinking individual, just give me a few minutes and I'll compose a short but meaningful list.

As a person who tends to over extrapolate in all directions from a single point I wondered if doing something like criticizing Morecambe and Wise, World Cup 66, Yorkshire Puddings, Christmas or even the Beatles might now count as undermining the UK in some way. I'm already braced for the impact. Those over inflated British institutions that were the bedrock of British life and sense of self, they're too revered and beloved to tolerate a subtle stabbing from the likes of me. 

Yeah (yeah), rock stars with knighthoods don't really do it for me either. Anyway the "new" Beatles tune is OK but that's about all. I doubt it would've seen the light of day but for AI's influence and Peter Jackson's understandable fanboy enthusiasm. John Lennon is rendered to look pretty strange in the video, like some hairy Scouse Norman Wisdom on speed (as below). I've heard the song twice and I may well hum it in the shower one day. What's next after this? My arrest I'd imagine.

Smelly Cats

The cats are recovering from a weekend of mystery illness that looks a lot like random bouts of vomiting and runny and smelly poo episodes. Yes, three cats all with upset tummies, all slightly out of sync are a bit of a challenge even for experienced owners, by that I mean us. It's not so much a question of knowing what to do or not to do, it's more about vigilance and cleaning up at odd times of the day and night, that and a consistent approach to feeding, hygiene and general welfare. 

They've all eaten normally this morning and taken on liquids, played around a bit and now and thankfully seem to have hit a rest and recovery point which we hope carries on to some peaceful resolution. They still can look decent in photos provided they actually stay put and don't go stir crazy, these restful looking shots were taken just as nap time was coming to a close ... and yes we're not always sure what we're feeding them. 

Don't Rate My Rig

 

Sunday ... Sunday: Pedal boards eh? Yeah don't bother with your ratings, it's a curious mixture and I'm not a cultural parrot either, more a sports car socialist. 50% decent 50% not so. That's a fair way to go, mixing the expendable with the tolerable and the chorus and modulation is on the amp(s) anyway. I doubt that this is fashionable either but that appeals to me obviously. The utility of decking, sticky Velcro and a few pins and clips. Every couple of weeks I just might take it apart. Other times in lives quietly in a blue holdall that holds it's own. 

South Queensferry Daily Lamp Post

I had to sneak around in the bushes to catch this lamp post unaware. To be honest it wasn't that difficult. The street lights around here are particularly slow witted, a bit like the Ents in LOTR. They've forgotten their purpose in life, their heritage and their abilities and are prone to sleeping on the job. They do still light up after dark, mostly. Some just emit a strange pale glow though. Perhaps the clocks going back at the weekend posed them a problem.

Witch

This video and tune is nothing to do with Halloween or any of the malarkey that goes with it. It's a song we wrote based around other real world things. Fear, injustice, ignorance and guilt; normal enough stuff really. I'm posting it today because it's just another piece of shameless self promotion on a day when witch themed material is seen as important. Nothing new there then. I saw somebody writing about the true "Spirit of Halloween" on line. What on earth is that?  Maybe a curious brew of mixed up campy horror genre stuff, a booming pumpkin industry and all the related commercial crap that gets punted out weeks ahead of any significant event on the calendar distilled into some pale and bitter liquid.

Actually it's mostly just fun and a bit better than Christmas ... ugh!

Bored with the Sistine Chapel?

Boredom is banned these days, you can't be bored. Parents don't like their kids to be bored, whatever that means. Bored is bad and you're a neglectful and lazy parent if you tolerate it. So kids get phones, screens, trashy toys, shallow experiences and the rest because that's all better than the dreaded boredom. School, car journeys and relatives are also boring, so I'm told. Just wait till you get a job at Amazon or driving a bus or as a brain surgeon.

I see boredom as more of a gateway or springboard. No matter how you look at it boredom is a temporary state, it's another liminal space on life's err ... journey. When you get out of boredom you step into something worthwhile, maybe not right away but it'll come. You have to have boredom to understand and gain an appreciation for satisfaction and fulfillment. It's all part of the tonal system that gives life a meaning of some kind ... I think.

So what does anything in this have to do with the decorations, paintings and frescoes in the Sistine Chapel? Not much really, I just had a idle thought that perhaps the apprentices and assistants who worked on the project with Michelangelo and the other "name" artists just might have been bored from time to time. The routine and tedium in their daily working life, fetching, carrying, cleaning, filling in spaces with washes of paint, mixing the fresh plaster etc. as the years of decorative work passed by, and yet to their credit they were involved in something that is regarded as one of the greatest artistic accomplishments in human civilization. 

Future Obsessions

The ages of man: I've no idea how I'll turn out. Like some stodgy pudding perhaps. My future self is a dim shadow, even at this magnificent (by Middle Ages standards) age. A future I can neither see or touch, lurking around some awkward corner. Things may remain as they are, things may change, some other outcomes are equally possible. Medical advancements, spiritual progress, economic revolution, well organised government, chaos and disaster. There may be trends and curious predictions, like bad weather forecasts and shaky Tarot readings. 

The truth is always quite different from the expectations of witnesses and history, even recent, can easily be turned into fiction if you have the will and a malleable audience. It may be that, I'll simply turn into the wolf spirit I've always believed myself to be and head for the barren hills. Those wide open but misty spaces with their excellent spiced noodles and warm drinks. The ending would truly be good for the soul. Well for mine, but not yours.

Yes

Yes: This is something that should be standard in every modern home regardless of the type of heating system and fuel used (well it must support radiators I suppose). The food warming, sock drying, plate heating, cat snoozing radiator is what the world needs today. Whatever you might think of the Victorians, and they did get a lot of things wrong, they were spot on with this. If you disagree, as is your right, you're a fine example of an idiot. I hope you have damp, clammy socks.

Cat in Gig Bag

 

The world often seems like a terrible place. I know I mention that sort of thing from time to time. There are pleasant distractions that we all need to treasure to survive, to understand our lives and the context of the situations that we inhabit day by day. The pleasant, simple experiences of our lives are to be savoured and remembered as a baseline when those darker clouds descend. Anyway here's our cat Bungle, whom I've just disturbed, she was having a sneaky snooze in a gig bag.

P.S. Here's another cat (Georgie) in a guitar case shortly afterwards.

Also this: sometimes you have to break the rules.

Castles of Porridge

File under Myths and Legends: Given it's robust texture and inherent physical strength I'm surprised that Scottish engineers have never managed to successfully develop porridge as a usable building material. My sources have however confirmed that in Victorian times a team from Edinburgh University looked into it's use as a medium to build cheap workers homes at the new Naval Base at nearby Rosyth. Tests were carried out but there were "complications". Allegedly some locals entered the site and ate parts of critical load bearing units, a number of serious injuries as well as digestive problems were reported at the time.

This apparent failure may yet have led on to the rumoured experimental Forth Railway Crossing project that was to combine iron, steel and porridge in what would have been an engineering world's first (pretty exceptional anyway). Little is known about how far the testing and design works got before the plan was shelved due to what were described at the time as "conflicts of ideology" within the team. Clearly the times and the science were not right for such an undertaking.

I also believe that in the 1950s there was a proposal from a cartel of Fife landowners and farmers that the new Scottish motorway system should use porridge as an experimental road finish. They undertook to supply the oats and the know how. There are no records as to how this venture ended however there are known to be stretches of the A90 that are still thought of as legacy porridge surface testing areas by BEAR Scotland.

Of course there's the long standing legend that tells of how William Wallace, had he survived English captivity, intended to build a massive porridge castle on the banks of Loch Lomond to hold the proposed garrison that would have protected the "Road to the Isles". It would also have formed his military HQ and be the  seat of his Scottish Government. We can only speculate as to the porridge formula he intended to use, as the recipe and the exact strain of wild oats has been lost due the passage of time and the general illiteracy of the engineers in the 13th century. 

The proposed design for the world's first porridge castle situated near Balloch, to have been built by William Wallace. Note the hot porridge moat - a first even for Scotland: courtesy the Scottish National Museum of Oat Based Antiquities. Part of the "Lofty Peak" Family Collection.

Exceptionalism

Some pretty unexceptional photos from yesterday's stroll around the harbour.

Who doesn't love a nice bit of well balanced exceptionalism? It's a very unhealthy characteristic that the British people have been hung up on for a little too long. It's not exclusive to the Brits either, plenty of other nations, tribes, ideologies and families suffer from it. A common human problem. Yes, it's the cancerous, deluded and incestuous blind spot of exceptionalism. Baseless and incompetent exceptionalism I should say. When you just can't deliver. Ever.

I was thinking about the HS2 debacle, a fine example of a country actually over reaching in trying to resolve an infrastructure problem by simply throwing money and grand designs at it. Maybe we don't need really fast trains like the Japanese, maybe we just need safe, clean, reliable and well run trains that actually get to their destinations. I'm pretty sure most people would also settle for a railway system that had reasonably priced fares and comfortable rolling stock and systems manned by professional and competent staff.

During Covid the idiot PM bragged about the UK having a "world beating track and trace system". As if, at that time being a world leader in that was important. We just wanted something that actually worked; it was of course never delivered. "World beating" trades deals were bound to follow on from Brexit they said. We've seen nothing like that nor any of the exceptional and five star outcomes that were promised by those bubble headed liars. But enough people bought into that nonsense, the undeliverable promises of privileged clowns who don't actually understand how anything (other than self promotion) works in the real world.

So spare us from the overblown  and exceptional. Just gives us things that work. Fix the roads and railways to a reasonable standard, invest in teachers and education, build decent homes, make the legal system fair for all, give people the chance of healthy lifestyles and support the NHS, sort out corporate fraud and fix pensions and benefits, make efforts to curtail environmental damage and look after critical infrastructure, try to help the people who need it, wherever they come from. 

Don't act as if you're still at primary school and have to brag about the size of your father's business or your trust fund's resilience. Don't try to have the biggest boat, weapons, ceremonial swords and royal family gatherings. Don't try to piss further than the USA, China or Russia; clearly that wont end well.  Don't mock nations that are growing and struggling to resolve their own internal problems. Don't strut like Mussolini was your drunk uncle, believing God's always on your side somehow. Just don't be dickheads. Be competent and do ordinary things to the required standards.

Sorry, just another itchy thing I had to get out of my system.

Our History According to AI

The partial truth* of a broken system according to the rough cut visionary science that is  AI - in simple images and words: 

"Impossible Songs is a talented musical duo known for their unique blend of genres and captivating performances. Comprised of two multi-instrumentalists and songwriters, Impossible Songs has been making waves in the music industry with their innovative sound and thought-provoking lyrics.

Formed in 2015, the duo quickly gained attention for their ability to seamlessly fuse elements of folk, rock, and electronic music. Their songs are characterized by intricate melodies, rich harmonies, and introspective lyrics that delve into themes of love, loss, and the human experience.

Impossible Songs' captivating live performances have garnered them a dedicated fan base. Their dynamic stage presence and ability to connect with audiences on an emotional level have made them a sought-after act at music festivals and venues around the world.

In addition to their musical talents, Impossible Songs is also known for their commitment to social and environmental causes. They actively use their platform to raise awareness about issues such as climate change, mental health, and social justice.

With their unique sound and meaningful lyrics, Impossible Songs continues to push boundaries and challenge the conventions of contemporary music. Their passion for creating music that resonates with listeners and their dedication to making a positive impact on the world make them a truly remarkable musical duo."

*Basically nonsense on sticks - as you might well expect.

Gods Against Everyone Else

Save yourself a predictable read by quickly heading down below*: Whether they're real or imaginary it doesn't matter much, Gods mean trouble. If you believe they gave us life and breath or don't even know what you believe but you still follow them, then they will possess a power over you and strangely enough over me too, even though I know they are complete fabrications and nothing more. Your faith and it's outworking impacts on me and all the other nonbelievers or sceptics. The love, justice, advice, cruelty and retribution you imagine gods bring to our world affects everyone alike, because it's been high-jacked and institutionalized. 

Rulers, dictators  and governments use it to provide moral authority with all the worst consequences, in order to keep things tight and controlled. That's the insidious power of faith/imagination and wishful thinking. Mythical invisible zeros placed on heavenly thrones by ancient story tellers rule us all whether we like it or not. You know what happens to heretics so remain calm and don't disagree. That's all a bit of a bummer when you think about it ...

*Of course this is just another low key, aimless and pointless rant that will change nothing but in many ways it's like a kind of self administered vaccination I'm taking in order to at best allow me to deal with the world wide dumb-fuckery we encounter every day and also to simply render me numb and exhausted for a short period of time. Thank you.

Playlisted

Random and unscripted images abound, tantalizing or maybe predicable and boring. Perhaps it's all unexpected as they crash together thanks to an accident or intentions in the system or the constraints of your screen and all your haphazard searching habits. The blind lead the even more blind.

The cosmic rain falls and the surprise pull of gravity that comes from Jupiter flexing his muscles just as my star was about to ascend. It all left me baffled. A knock on the door from a lost delivery driver or a wasp caught up in a spiders web just outside the kitchen window. Leaves thrown into a whirlpool of wind that gathers them and then scatters them across the autumn garden's battered public face. A sudden drop in temperature as something unknown and unseen enters a room you can never leave.

Closing your eyes in a warm cat nap and losing track of time and being unsure quite where you might be sitting when you awake. Looking into a cluttered cupboard but for what exactly? A distant burglar alarm, chain saw motors revving up in the woods, car doors slamming, a helicopter hovers ominously out of sight as crows cackle and argue in the Burger King car park. Finally after what seems like forever, the storm burns itself out.

Unboxing

So our clutch of shiny new CDs arrived from the USA recently and as we might have expected based on the "special relationship" there was a tax bill to pay (why does everything have to be so cynical and political these days?). But enough of that, we're pretty happy with the outcome of our elaborate, year long writing, recording and design exercise; as a result of which the CD "collection" exists.  There is indeed a physical product to own or you can go to the numerous providers and scammers where it can be streamed or downloaded for your listening pleasure and hours of enjoyment, amusement and confusion. Of course these shaky images do not do justice to the magnificent final product ... not quite. Now our razor sharp business minds are trying to figure out the best ways to get rid of these; giving them away for free seems to be the best option.

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In real life the CD is not as wonky as the picture above makes it look.

Nowhere in Particular Daily Photo(s)

That's all for today...

The Sins Of My Generation

The other day I read a blog post written by Tom Morton to do with these mostly painful subjects: generational guilt and the quest for redemption, the Christian church's influence in the seventies (and onwards) and how seemingly innocent things can quickly unravel into squalid mega-troubles. The question being; is it all Larry Norman's fault? 

Golden boy Larry was pretty much the inventor of Christian rock music back then and despite leading a chaotic and selfish life he managed to sell millions of records, convert Mike Pence along the way and articulate the "Rapture" as no one else had done before. He wrote the song " I wish we'd all been ready", and the rest turned out to be history. This song became a Gospel ear worm in the early seventies that influenced and corrupted old and young minds all across the world. It led to a flood of books, films and sermons about "The Last Days" (according to the Bible) and how we were all living through them right now. The mysterious Rapture might happen at any moment and are you, you unjustified sinner, ready? Unfortunately I was a part of this generation and very much affected by these teachings. Fuck!

Over time my generation grew up and this thinking and the bent theology that goes with it solidified in the hearts and minds of Evangelical Christians all across the world. The Bible tells us there will be trials and tribulations, a shitload of trouble in Israel and the Middle East and then after some climactic battle or event the rapture will take all the (proper) Christians "home". It also lines up nicely with Jewish doomsday scenarios and the coming of their own exclusive Messiah, a kind of alternative Jesus.  As you might imagine, in the USA, within Christian groups, this is very much the lens through which all world events are viewed. Help the poor, feed the starving, make the world a better place? Well do a bit if you can but there's no real point because we're all trapped in a Biblical narrative that has only one outcome ... the return of the Messiah and a lot of judgmental and consequential consequences ... err but we'll all be OK in our Baptist Chapels. 

If then you've come to believe that we're on the eve of total destruction coupled with the redemption of the faithful there's little point in adhering to what might previously have been considered as "doing the right thing" a few generations ago. So arm the Israelis but also arm the Arabs and anyone else that might have some input into ramping up the tribulations. It's not so far removed from the billionaire based long term futurism that plans to colonize the Moon, Mars and other random planets. No point in helping the people of earth improve their lot, it's all a lost cause whatever religious or philosophical slant you apply. The easy way is simply to get out of it all and hope the species, either in physical or supernatural form survives elsewhere. Everyone else can basically get to fuck; too poor, too dim and just born at a bad time when the planet was over heating.

Funny to think that it all began for my generation with a room full of long haired ex-hippies plunking on guitars and pulling texts and phrases from the Bible to quietly mull over. We had our moments of baseless optimism and disregard for our fellow heathen humans but we honestly thought it would somehow work out favorably. There might be a revival, societal change, the collapse of capitalism and a return to more simplistic values. A brave new acoustic and analogue world filled with rainbows and paperback fantasy novels where Jesus is chief influencer.  In reality it turns out that over investing in some twisted theological fairy story coupled with a line of dangerous pipe dreams that seduce the naive, exploit the stupid and empower all the worst people isn't a helpful or constructive way to be. Just take a look around.

So is it still all Larry Norman's fault? Well he's long dead and gone now and unlikely to have made it into heaven by any standards so on balance it probably is.