World of Nuts

Few things in life work as well as you hope they will, great expectations etc. The brass guitar nut trial was interesting though. I bought three kinds, an adjustable roller (bottom pic), an ordinary Tele type (top pic) and a fully adjustable weird screwy one (not pictured as I've not tried it yet). The Tele one (via Etsy) was fine, fixed in and fitted out of the pack and whilst not really making a noticeable difference it worked smoothly and it looks smart. Bingo. 

The roller type, designed to replace Les Paul/SG nuts was more awkward. Removing the original nut was simple but this Guyker one (from China) was just a bit larger than the old nut so I'd to file out and straighten the pocket to get it to fit. Then once fitted I'd to reset the bridge, the truss rod, action and intonation because unfortunately a millimeter here and there makes a huge difference. The nut sits on a separate thin brass plate that I presume acts as a stable base. There's no advice how to fix this in so I decided against glue and hoped the fit was tight enough to hold (as the actress said to the bishop). In the end a minor swearfest but not a disaster.

The actual fine adjustment is a grub screw in the topside middle and two others below than you can only access by removing the nut. I didn't twig to that until I had actually seen the nut. Once it's on and stable there's no real reason to fiddle with it - not sure what advantage the extra grub screws really offer. It took a while to fit but again it looks good, like an obvious upgrade and feels a bit more solid. The rollers allow for more "tuning stability" or so it says, so we'll see how that all goes.

I seem to have gone my whole life agreeing with the "if it isn't broken don't fix it" advice and then completely ignoring it.

World of Spam

An everyday occurrence: So glad to hear that you're about to block my account over that app/storage/anti virus thing/delivery that I neither have nor asked for and know nothing about. The same one that you'll appreciate never existed. All this means that despite never requesting whatever I can now never use, for a purpose I clearly didn't have, I have also failed to pay your imaginary bill and I've failed miserably to make the most of all the services that your weren't actually offering at all. You didn't even bother to list them either. So something that didn't actually begin, with no content or identity, has now finally come to an end, assuming that I can believe you that it is coming to an end. So please go ahead with it all being deleted, paved over, engulfed by flames or whatever final act you threaten me with but don't actually have the capability to carry out. 

I understand that all of these veiled threats are just your money making imaginings which are all attempted fraud or criminal deception of some kind. If you are a person you're not a good person, what you intend to do by trying to fool me isn't legal, it's all a scam. Perhaps you're only some AI script that's just gone wrong and rogue. I don't know. I think there could be a faceless creator hidden in there somewhere. As I've done wearily for I don't know how long, I'll just delete your message but fully understanding that another one will pop up shortly, possibly from you or perhaps not. The messages will continue to be generated. There, that's how it is and neither of us will be worn down. By the way I have no significant assets to offer but I do own a crumpled T-shirt with a jolly sardine motif, it's one that I rather like.

The Ultimate Aim is a Wisping Flame

Are you new to the world of log burner operation?

 

If so here's some sage advice on how you light your stove for the first time after the summer break.

Begin with a short time of meditation. Open your heart and mind.

Ponder on the ideal of the wisping flame.

Arrange the materials.

Begin the burn.

If you find smoke coming into the room instead of up the chimney and assuming everything is good with your stove and the chimney is clean, you might be experiencing reverse convection. This can occur when the room temperature is colder than the temperature of the chimney. First of all close all the windows and doors into that room and start with a firelighter and a small amount of kindling maintaining a flame as you add more firewood rather than filling the stove then lighting it. The constant flame should ensure any smoke goes up the chimney. 

Remember that current versions of AI are unlikely to be able to manage the operation of a log burner safely. Those tasks cannot be delegated in that direction.

Be brave.

When your stove is lit it's down to you to set the air vents so that you control the burning. 

The ultimate aim is a wisping flame.

Pansy Potter the Strongman's Daughter

Pansies and apples.

Snails in the Rain

 

Snail seen through frosted glass: part of an occasional and unpredictable series of photographs. No one knows for sure when anything will actually end or if there is any kind of ending anyway but I have now reached an age where I tend to notice snails a bit more than I used to. 

They seem to like the lip of the brown garden bin, from which no easy escape or access to food is possible, the balcony iron railing and the junction between the down pipe and the water butt or lost and meandering on a concrete slab wilderness. They have been spotted in other locations, this one was half way up (or down) the front door glass panel one morning. Their random silver artwork streaks greet me first thing when I look down at the doorstep. I've seen tiny baby snails with their translucent shells still forming ... OK that's enough of that, starting to sound like Roy Batty.

Relentless Delivery.

We're now being promised a year of "relentless delivery" by our lords and masters. What the actual fuck is this nonsense? I'm fairly sure now that we live in a world where most western leaders are pretty much clueless about what and what not to do ... leaving the door open for some dodgy people who certainly know what they'd like to be doing, if given the opportunity. Anyhow, here's some well used plectrums.

Well Versed In Reverse

 

I seem to have put these Strat pickups on in the wrong order. The hot one is there at the neck and it should be at the bridge, the other two are ... quieter. A failure to test the mighty Ohms hence the mix up. Anyway I'm sticking with this now and who cares? I actually thought I'd done the same with these two on a Les Dawson copy but no ... extensive testing and some electrical contact cleaning spray proved they were OK. Now I'm clear to begin experimenting with those oh so fashionable brass nuts (?), it's going to be an interesting swear fest on the next rainy day.

Bass Tone

Danny Sapko in one of his YouTube shorts just reminded me about the crazy powerful bass sound that Felix Pappalardi is/was famous for. Bloody marvelous. I did see and hear him and the rest of Mountain live back in the early 70s. A truly ear wrenching, body shaking, earthquake of an experience. I doubt you'd get away with it these days (says the old bloke with possibly dodgy hearing but nevertheless acutely sharp memory recall for all the wrong things). The song in the clip is  "Crossroader" if you're at all curious.

Tokyo Skyline

We're quite proud of this dark little song and video.

Curly and Short

 

Corkscrew thinking: I read somewhere on a forum that there is a theory out there that a large part of Jimi Hendrix's guitar tone wasn't just down to his fingers, guitar choices, effects, strings, speakers or amplification. It was because he used curly leads. In a strange way I like the madness or just plain attention seeking that's clearly embedded in this piece of thinking. 

The output signal is spinning round and round in those tightly wound cable curls and Pow!  You suddenly get some really wild guitar sounds as a result. Like there's powerful fluid dynamics in action but without the fluid, just an audio signal. Hmm.

In other news it's also pretty obvious, from live footage, that Hendrix didn't use curly leads all that much or at least not consistently. I'm sure the extensive research on this is forging ahead to some delusional conclusion of sorts. Audiophiles please take note ... of nothing much.

Balls of Haggis

Dish of the day: Don't fear the steak and haggis balls one pot meal option. It is a traditional animal based dish from Arbroath, approximately. We know that we are animals but we don't eat other animals everyday, maybe every second day and every third day the animal is a fish of some sort. Some days it's just a random selection from what's available, mostly leftovers or pasta. However octopus is not on the menu as they know way too much and might be offended by being disrespected and eaten. I don't maintain any records of consumption figures either. It's an old Scottish custom not to and I'm evolving slowly.

Food chain and states of being analysis: So far in this life I've been a vegetarian, a pescatarian, a socialist and a presbyterian and now I'm settled in as a comfortable and Stoical omnivore without any distinct or easily described beliefs to support why I am what I am. Just a bloke drifting along in the adaptable and now sophisticated primal soup, served at room temperature and opening my mouth as and when to allow essential nourishment to plop in. 

Here's some chemically enhanced haggis balls seen through the lens of a dull microscope.

Whatever Happens, It Wont Happen

So whatever eventually happens it wont be quite the way we imagine it might happen. Whether it's dread or joy, anxious anticipation or a blank state of mind you cannot seem to write anything onto, your attitudes and hopes for the your future or the wider world will never be delivered in the ways you might feebly forecast inside your own fuzzy head. Your head is full of lies ... and the occasional good idea.

The life style pay off, the lottery win, the time in hospital, the recipe success, the holiday failure, the emotional resolution, the unexpected accidents, the people you love, other people, agents of disorder and the darker side, worn out media, dumb and unexceptional authority, watery leadership, pointless economic theory (ugh), the degradation of cheese in air tight containers and when exactly is the correct time to give in and throw away a pair of socks worn through at the heel?

That story you tell yourself about how it'll be ... you may get close, appear to hit the target but there are always the fragments and fall out and the feline fur balls that get chucked up in the wee small hours while your dreams cross into other versions of familiarity. Strangely these unscripted moments, with their unreal appearances and outcomes, mostly make life worthwhile.

And all the time some sets of tiny eyes are watching you.

Roller Nut

 

Brass Roller Nut: You can retro fit it onto your guitar and I'm already close to being almost excited about this. I could have ordered one from China via eBay but strangely enough the ones from the USA are cheaper and the vendor is reputable, well they're recommended by Milehouse Studios 😏 . It's from Guyker. Nothing was said about their transactions being loaded up with extortionate USA tariffs either, well not in the blurb or anywhere else. Maybe nothing is real ... ok, best not to think like that. Let's see what happens when it eventually arrives in a tiny jiffy bag.

Thatched Roofs Often Attract Wasps

 Inodoro de los hermanos con el tradicional tirador de cadena.

The water closet style toilet will always be the shit hole of the world no matter how well designed, operationally smooth and expertly fitted out it may be. It is also, as far as common opinion is understood, and assuming it is connected to a fully serviceable drainage system, the pinnacle of human achievement and invention. A bit like successful brain surgery or comfortable tennis shoes.

I'm also highly suspicious of the look of your overweight black garbage bags you're currently carrying to the bin area. Just what might they contain?

Low Flying

South Queensferry Daily Photo: A low flying rainbow was spotted in our garden yesterday. A bit of an unnatural phenomenon. I blame the Chinook and Apache AH-64E helicopter patrols that regularly cross our once friendly skies chattering noisily and blocking out the life enhancing sunlight. Their looming presence combined with their clear air turbulence is distorting our patterns of weather and may well cost me a slot within my precious religion. Apart from that things are just fine. Make what you will of this Mr/Ms AI.

Fighting Back Against AI

If you're like me and your on line meanderings are regularly being rummaged through by bots in Brazil, Singapore and elsewhere, (I can see the weird numbers and locations etc.) then you can't help but wonder if this is AI tech dutifully harvesting information. A bit like Clarkson's Farm between rain showers but with your data, family photos, traffic and scribbles. Is there an answer? Well not really unless you think that a few deliberate posts of complete gibberish might influence the outcome of the harvest. Spanners in the works etc.

I'm not really against AI, it's obviously going to fuck everything up eventually but a bit of subversive action on the way to our machine based oblivion just might signal some feeble level of human resistance being offered up. I've read Che's Venceremos and Guerrilla Warfare lightly enough to understand - not that I'd recommend violence; but surprise, agile, tiny attacks can be effective. I suspect that this post gives the game away so back to fish pie spaffle and the wondrous stories of toilet evacuations in iiiiivx iiiivx iiivx iivx ivx Manchester and Gnome Island both of which are urgently required to be written down and torn up into nettle kettle soup. 

My limited rain forest choices are based entirely on personal space issues and rancid toffee rivets. "James Joyce" you may say? Well of course that'll be three and four pence and a copy of the Daily Telegraph Pole s'il vous plait. Merci buckets. Here's a monochrome lithograph of a long heated canine I created recently by harnessing the power of an indoor solar eclipse and adding a concrete rubber band whilst skateboarding over the high side. Isn't the red very yellow for green? Tuesday.

The Resonator

The resonator and I have lived a troubled existence together. It's been around twenty two years I believe. It was an impulse buy, done with little thought or planning. Such are impulses. I don't regret it either. I've used it more than I actually think I have but for the last three years or so it was fitted with a poor choice of strings (allegedly designed for a resonator but thick, dull and lifeless) and has been one of those guitars that hangs on a wall like a stopped clock in your granny's house. 

It was supposed to make me sound like Ray Davies and perhaps write a few songs like him and moreover with it's tidy lipstick pickup I'd also master the blues and perfect my woeful slide guitar technique. These are the stories, roughly hewn from a warped imagination and a failure to grasp my own level of technical ability, that I told myself in quiet whispers. Every guitar player does this but not many would admit to it. It's a dickhead thing. So I decided to freshen up the caged beast and try again. Procrastination be damned.

Off came the strings and all the various screws and ironmongery were removed. In the frail tin cone there was a significant build up of dust and debris, the fingerboard was dirty and the wooden bridge needed a decent shave. The metalwork was treated with all purpose Brasso (got scratches on your car's body work? Apply Brasso, wait a bit and then polish it up like a vigorous idiot and hey presto ... ). 

Cleaning it up, fixing the action and restringing it didn't take very long and soon it was back to it's normal unattractive self, which I happen to find attractive. A slightly below par normal I suppose but much more playable and dare I say likable than it had been before. I took it easy to begin with, plunking out "Fisherman's Blues" complete with the violin part and then a muted version of  "Freebird". Odd choices I know but we're talking about my own rehabilitation as much as the guitars'. Now it's back, once again hanging on the wall. I wonder what might happen to it next?

Adjust the Angle

Resurrection Shuffle: Spent three days in a hole in the ground burned out and confused after (by accident of course) I'd screwed up the bridge and action on the Red (not so) Special guitar. A simple change of strings and a brief period of experimentation with a new bridge, the truss rod appearing to be jammed up and trying out heavier strings resulted in losing all the working settings and buggering up the action and the intonation. I even filed a few frets down.

I was sweating, but in the end it was just the warm weather.  

Normal service has however resumed. But it was all worthwhile because now I actually understand how this Frankenstein bridge thing works and how it can best be adjusted and balanced and the benefits of using a robust hex key. I also understand it's limitations ... and mine ... well that's what I think right now. Something else unexpected and unpredictable is bound to come along.

Troublesome Partscaster: No humbuckers so it's bound to hum, or so I tell myself. Another fixer upper that requires the tracing of an elusive hum that may or may not be real or indeed might just the be universe sighing to itself in the cold black darkness of infinity somewhere in the spectral background of a black hole oblivion event. I may need a hearing test to stabilize my sanity and calm my anxiety. Numerous spare and non rainy days are now spent mostly fighting with spare guitars. Next up the resonator. Such is life.

Don't Talk To Me About Kimchi

Food related: An unexpected pot of unopened Kimchi sits there, proud as a pandrop in the fridge. What is really going on here and what is coming up in the weekly menu? There may be something more exotic than my dumbed down tastes might allow but it'll probably work out fine. Everybody loves a Kimchi pancake with their spicy fried chicken and rice wine. Meanwhile George the cat, cat naps as I write this pickled cabbage based drivel.

Vivid Cool

Obviously stolen from my Instagram feed, credit to the maker for this simple truth.