Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Words and numbers

Here's a list of some words and numbers I've been using recently:


£5100 metres100 years1000 years10cc11 plus16179717th Century19551960s1965196619671971197319741980200 years200020012002200320172018201920493D4 tracks40 years4448 years4th July4x45060s6270s80s9091199%9969th AprilA space odysseyA985AAAberdeenabject failureaboveabsoluteabsurdaccident.accidentsacidactionsactressadminAdmiraladultadvertismentsadviceaffectedAfricaaftermathageageingAIaimed lowerAir KissesairbrushedairedairportairstrikeALAlan PartridgeAlaskaalbumalbumsAldialertAlexiaAliAliensaliveall seeingall yearallan keysalonealpacasalternativesAmazonambientAmeliaamenAmericaAmeyampsanalogue manancientandroidangryangstAngusanimalsankleannualanonymousAnstrutherants. leavesanxietyanymoreappapple crumbleapple juiceapplesaprilArcticarenaareoplanesArgusarrowarseartArt Decoart schoolart shopartisanartistartisticartyas seenasianASMRaspireasteroidastro turfAtlanticaubergineauctionAudrey HepburnAugustausterityAustin 7autoautographautumnavacadoavoidawardsawfulawkwardaxeaxisAxlAztecbabybackbaconbacon rollbadbad daybagbalancingballBallardballetbananaBananarama Fran and AnnabandagebandcampBanffbangersbank cardbankruptbanksbarbecuebarberbarcodesbarrenbasebasementbasesbasketBathbatterybattles. 2019BBCBBC2BBC4BBC6beachBearBeardbeardsbearingbearsbeastsBeatlesBeckbeefbeepsbeerbeesBeetlejuicebeetrootbeing idlebeing tallbeing watched. FBIbelievebelowBen Nevisbenignbest groupbetterbetter hearingbigBig ABig BangBig Headsbig moneybig screenbigger planbikeBilbaobingobinsbirdbird feedersbird housebirdsbirthdaybiscuitblackblack and whiteBlack Fridayblack holeBladerunnerBlair Witchblamebleakblemishbloatedblockageblocked drivewayblogbloggingbloodblood donorBLTblueblue skyblue titsblue toothbluesBOboatBob DylanboldbollocksbolloxbonfirebonusBoobookbooksBOOMboredbotbotsbouldersBournesbowbowlingBoxbreakbreakdownbreakfastbreathebreedingBrewdogBrexitbricksbridgebridgesBridget BardotbrilliantBritanniaBritishBritsbroccolibrokenBroonsbruiseBrunelbrushBTBubble TeaBuddhaBuddhistbudgetbuffoonsbuild upbuildersbuildingbuildingsbulkbulletbullybunnyburgerburgersburnburned outbusbus passbushfirebusinessbusiness modelbusybutterfliesbutterflybuttonbuybuyingC&WcabbagecactusCadburycafecafescaffitaCaird HallcakecalmCambridge AnalyticacamerasCanadacanalcancercandidatecandlescaneCanoncanscarcar ferrycar washcaravancardscarecareercarefulcargocarry outcarscartooncartoon dogcassettescatcat cafecat chickencat facecat flapcat foodcat photocatfoodcatscauliflowercavesCBQCDCdscelebscentral heatingCentral ScotlandcentrechairchancechangechaoschapchapelchargercharitycharliecheesechemicalscherrieschickenchildhoodchildrenchillichillychimneyChinesechipschocolatechoicechorusChristChristmaschurchCIAcidercinemacitrus fruitscitycivilisationClaptonclassclassiccleaningcleanseclearingclenchclevercliff edgeclimateclingfilmclocksclocks go backcloudsclunkerscluttercoastcocainecockletreesCoconutcoconut oilcoconut watercodecodescoffeecognitive dissonancecogsCohencoinscolacoldColdwar StevecollagecollectionscolonyColoradocolorscolourcolourscomedycometcomic artcomicscommentcommon sensecompliantcomplicatedcompositioncompostconceptualconfidenceconflictconfusionconnectionsconsequencescontemporary artscontentcontestcontextcontradictionscontrolconversationscookingcoolcoolercopscosplayCostacostscottage industrycouchcouncilcountdowncoverCowdenbeathcoycrabscrackCrammondCranberriescranecrayfishcrayonscrazycreakingcream cakescreationcredit cardcreepycreme bruleecriminalcrispCRMCroatiaCrombieCrombie PointcropCrossingcrowcrowdfundcrowdscrowscruelcruiseCSNCubaseCulrosscultureCumbernauldcup holdercurdscuriositycursecutcybermancybermendaffodilsdaftDaily MailDaily Palletdaily photoDaily PlanetDaily SpacecraftDalai LamaDalgety BayDalidamagedampdancedancingDangdangerousDanny BoyledarkDark AgedarkerdarknessDas BootdatadatesDavid HepworthdaydaylightdaysdeaddealdealsdeathdecafdecayDecemberdecluterringdeepdeerdeludedDenmarkdennis hopperdentistdepressiondesigndestinationdestinydevildiamond dollsdiedieseldietdifferencedigitaldilldimensionsdirectiondirtyDiscoverydishwasherdislocationDisneyditchDIYdjangodjembedoctordocumentsdodgerdogdog walkersdogfooddogsdogwalkersdoing nothingdollarsDoloresdon't goDonald FagendonutsDoodledoodlesdoorsdoorwaydoubledownloadsDr WhodragondramdramadrawingsDreamiesdreamsdressdriftdrinkdronedrowned towndrugsdrumdrum machinedrumsdrunkdrunkendrunksDrydry mouthdrywallDublindukedullDunbarDundeeDunfermlineDunmoredust cloudDVLAdwarf planetdyno-rodearly morningeartheastEast NeukEaster EggsEasterneasyEasy Ridereat themeateneBayecho chambereconomy of scalesECUEdenedgeEdinburghEdinburgh daily photoeducationeffectsefforteggsEgyptEinsteinEireEkaterinaelectionElectorateelectricityelementselsewhereemailsembeddedemergencyemotionsemptyEna Sharplesendendingsendless eveningsenegryenergyengineeringenginesEnglandenglishenjoy lifeenterprisesenvyEPepiphanyepisodeequationsequatorerrorerrorsescapeetceternaleternal youthEtsyEUEuropeEurovisionevaporatedEveeveningeveryday thingsevilevolutionexhaustExhibitexhibitionexistentialexitsexpectedexperiencesexpiryeyefabricFacebookfacesfactfactoryfailfailure of componentsfairy lightsfakefake newsfakesfallfamilyfansfantasyfar eastfarewellfarm shopfarm shopsfarmersfashionfast foodfatfat guyfat-bergfatefaultsfearfeefeedersfemale vocalsfeministfenceFenderfestivalfeteFibonaccifibrefictionfieldfieldsFifefiftyfigsfilmfilmsfinancefinefine artfireFire and Furyfirelightersfireworksfirst world problemsFirth of ForthfishfishingfitFitzcarraldofiveguysfixflakeyflaresflat earthflat whiteflavourflawedFleabagfloatflowersfloyd rosefluidFMfoodfoodbanksfootballsfooteringforgetfulformationformsForthForth Bridgesfortsfoundfour daysfourthsfoyerfrackingfragileFranceFraser Drummondfreakfreefreedomfreelancefreezerfreezer bagsfreezingFrenchFrench toastfrenzyfreshfresh breathFreudFridayfried eggfriendsfrightfritterfrozenfruitfrustrationFTfuck allfunfuneralfungusfunkyfunnyfutureFuture IslandsG spotgablesgalleryGame of ThronesgantryGap of Dunloegaragegardengarden centregarden stormGary NumangategeesegeniusgenreGermanGermanygermsGettyGhiblighostghostsgiantgiant. goose. crowgibberishgifGIFsgigglesgigglingGimme ShelterGinger BakerglareGlasgowglassglassesGlen EskGlenrothesglitchglobalglobal warminggloomgloomygloriousglory daysglossyglovesglowglowingglutenGlynis Johnsgogoatgoatsgodgoddessgoing outgoldgolden timeGoldfrappgonegood healthgood old daysgood weathergooglegorillaGoTGothgovernmentgraduationgraffitiGrammysgranniesgrapesgraphicgraphsgrassgravesgravitygrazegreasy spoonGreat PumpkingreedgreedyGreekgreengreen lasergreen teagreygrizzlyGrootgroupsgroutgrumbleguiltguiltyguitarguitar serial numberguitarsgullsGumtreegungegunkgunsgutterguttersGWRhackhaggishairhaircuthairyHalleyhallowedhammockhandshangovershappinesshappyharbourHarbour LaneHardyHarpo Marxharvesthatshazyhead bumpshead injuriesheadstonehealthheardheart and soulheatheatingheavenheavyheavy metalhedgehogheightheightshejirahelicopterhellHelleborushelpHemingwayHendrixherbal remediesherbsheritageherringHerzoghi-vishigh tidehighlandhillship hophipsterhissyhistoryHitchenshmmhold backholding listholidayHollowayholy spirithomehome grownhonesthoneyhonkinghopeHopetounHornhorseshospitalhothot dogsHot RatsHot weatherhotelHotspurHousehouseshoverhow i hateHowsonhuddlehumanhumanityhumiliationhumourhungerhungryhungry catHuxleyhypnosisiceice wallIcelandicyideasIKEAimageimagesimmatureimmuneimplantsImpossible Planetimpossible songsimpossiblesimpossiblesongsimpostersIMSIMS Bearingin another worldincontinenceindependenceIndianindieindustrialindustryINEOSinfusioninjuryinjusticeinkinlet pipeinsaneinsideinspirationInstagraminstructionsinteractioninternetinternet artinternet failureinterviewintrusive thoughtsiplayerIrelandironiron maskironicironworkislandissuesITItalyitchyiTunesivyJ&MCJack KirbyjacketjamJamendojangle popJanuaryJapanjarjazzJeanne MoreauJeremyJesusjigsawJimmy ReidJimnyjobjobsJohn BonhamJohn Cooper ClarkeJohn FarrellJohn MistyJolene LiaJonijonny cashJordan PetersonjudgementjudgingJules VerneJune 8thjungleJupiterJuraKarftwerkkarmaKeysKezia DugdaleKiakidsKikikillKillarneykillingkimchikindlingKing CrimsonKinkskit katskitchenkittenkittensKnausgaardknee jerkKnitted BunnyKnockhillknotknowknowledgeKoreaKrautKubrickKula ShakerKyloLabelsLabourLabradorladderslambdalandlandscapelapLapsang Souchonglaptoplast dayslast weeklatelaunchlaundromatLaurelLaurie Leelazylazy. low inputleadersLeagueleakleatherleaveslectureLed ZeppelinlegendLegolemmingsLeonardolesbianlets make pearlsletterlieslifelife cyclelightlighthouselikeLimekilnslimplinenLionel BartlistlistenlistenerslistslitterLivlivelive streamsliveslivinglobsterlocalLoch LevenLoghnagarlogiclogisticslogsLokiLondonlong afternoonslong gamelooklooked afterlookingloomslosslostlost girlslost soulsLothianslotterylotuslovelow outputLPslucklunarlunaticlunchlyricsM&SM50MacMacduffmachinemachine headsmachinerymachinesmagicmagnetmake a differencemamafubumanMan childmanagersmantramapsmarathonMark E SmithmarketingmarketsMartinMarvelmaskmassagemastermatchsticksmaterialsmathsMaymayomemeal dealmeaningmeatmediamedia centremedicalmeditationmelodymemorymen's healthmeowmermaid. 1948mermaidsmessmessagesmetalmeteoriteMethilMI5MiamimicemicroscopesmicrowaveMidnight CowboymigrantsMiles DavismilestoneMilomince and tattiesminced beefmindfulMiniminor planetsmintMirandamissingmisspelledMitchellmixingMiyazakimoaningmobile phoneMoDmodernmodern artmodern lifemoistmomentsmoneyMonkMonopolymontagemonthsmoodyMoonmoon cakemoonpigmoralmoral problemsmorningmorphmossmothmotorwaymouthwashmove onmoviemovie starmoviesMTBmuckymudMuircot Farm shopmummurkymuscleMuscle ShoalsmuseummushroommusicmusiciansmusingmysterynakednamesNarcissismNarniaNASANashvillenastyNat GeonaturenavalNavyNazinear deathnearly deadsneedyneighbournerveNescafeNetflixnettlesnevernewnew intuitionnew skillsnewly wedsnewsNHSniceNiconightnightshiftNOno bitesno dangerno help on lineno lawno senseNo6Nobel Prizenobodynobody understands anythingNoddynoisenonsensenoodlesnormal lifeNorman LamontNorthnorth seanorth windNorwaynostalgianotenotesnothing in particularNov 5thnowherenozzlenuclearnumbersnut shellNYCOAPsoatcakesobligatoryoblivionobservatoryoceanOchilsoctoberoddoff-gridoffenceofferingofficerOGWToiloil paintingoilyOKoldold ageold ladiesold peopleold schoolOliverominouson lineon line bankingon the beachonlineOor Wullieootbopoperationopinionsoptical illusionsoptical problemoptionsorangeorange juiceorbital challengerorchestraOrchyordinaryOREOsOsborneoutout for a strolloutburstsouter spaceoutlawoutlookoutsideoutsideroutsourcingOval Officeover boardoverheadowloysterOzPAPagepainpaintpale wavespalletpanicpanoramapantsPark RoadParspart twopas-asianPassengerspassionpassportspasswordpastpastiespatternsPaul MaccartneyPaulaPCpeacepeace.peacefulpeaceful gardenpeak 18peanut butterpebblespedalPencepenispeoplepepsodentperceptionperfectperformanceperplexedperversepetitionpetrolpetsPFIpheasantsPhillip DickphilosophicalphonesphotophotosPi DaypianoPicassopickpicklepickuppickypicturespiecespierpiespigpigspigs headPina ColadapineapplepinkPink FloydpissPittenweemplacementplain sightplanplanetsplannerplantplasticPlatterdayplayingPlazaplectrumsplexi glassploughplumPlutopoached eggspoempoetrypoetspointpoisonPol AridapolicepoliticianspoliticspollutionpompousponyPonyopoolpoppop artpop uppopularPorscheportraitPortsmouthPortugalposhpostpost industrialpost itspost officepostal servicePosterposterspostspotspoutinepovertypowerpower saving modepowerspreachpreciouspremadonnapremonitionprime contractsprintersprison the bibleprivate sectorprivilegeprizeproblemproblemsproceedprocessproductproductsprogressive rockprojectprostatepsychic spiespubpublic transportpublicitypuffinspulleypumpspunchpuncturepunditspuppypurchasespurplepussyPutneyputting yourself downPuttypuzzlepyjamapyramidsQueenQueensferryQueensferry CrossingquestionsqueuequeuesquirkyquizrabbitradioragsrailwayrainrainbowrainbowsrainyrandomRangersrantrapRaquel Welchrarerashreadingready mealsrealityrealmsreasonablerecordingrecordsrecoveryrecruitmentrecyclerecycledrecyclingredreflectreflectionreflectionsrefugeesregulationsreindeerrelaxrelaxantreligionrememberingremixrepairrepeatrepeatsresetresourcesrespiteresponsibilityretailrethinkretireretired habitsreviewrevolutionreworkribsRideriffsrightright wingringriotRIPrip it upritualriverRiver ForthriversRNroad tollroadsrobbersrobotsrockrock and rollrock historyrocketrocksroll overroller coasterRolling StonesrollsRomaniaroofroostroot beerRoryrosemaryrosesRosythrottenRoughboysroyalroyaltiesrubbishrude healthruggedruinruinedruinousrulesrun downrun outRussell brandRussiarustRyvitaSabbathsacredsadsafarisafe picturessafetysaladsalad dayssalesale of the centurysalessalmonsaltiresalutesame picturesSamsungsandsandalssandwichsaneSangriasanitationsarcasmsardinesSatansatirical stuffSaturdaysaucersscarfScarlet Pagescarsscaryschemesschoolschool of artsci-fisciencescoffScotlandScottishScottish Footballscrambled eggscrew upscriptsculpturesseasearchingseasonseasonalseasonsSeaweedsecond bestsecretsee farseeing the lightself destructionself esteemself helpselfiessellingselling your soulsentinelSEPASeptemberseptic tankserenityserial killerseriesservicesessionssevenseventiessewagesewing machinessexistsshadesshadowsharksSharpieshavingshedsheepshelterShetlandship wrecksshipsshitshoesshootshopshoppingshopsshort storiesshort storyshow businessshowershrubsshufflesickside oneside twoSideshow BobSierra MadreSiggisightingsignsignssilenceSimpsonssinistersitting r and rsix word storysixtiesskillsskinSkippyskullskyslamSlashSleaford ModsSleepsleeping catslendermanSlowslugsluggishsmart phonessmashsmellsmilesmilingsmoke ringssmokingsnacksnapsnooze timesnowsnowdropsSNPsosoap operasocialsocial mediasockssoft ejectSoft Machinesoft underbellysoftwaresolar powerSolomonsongsongwriterssororitysorrysoulsoulssoundcloudsoupsoursouth coastSouth QueensferrySovietspacespace craftspace rockspace travelspaghettiSpainspamSpanglesSparksspectrespeechspeedspidersspillagespinningSpiralSpirited AwayspiritualSpongeBobspoofspookySpotifyspreadSpringsquare eggssqueamishsquintsquirmsquirrelsSSCPAstainless steelstairsstairwaystand offStanley KubrickStar WarsStar Wars Daystarsstarshipstarship travelstart againstatementstationstatisticsstatuestatuesstatusstaying putstealthsteamsteelSteely DanStephensstepsSteveSteve CooganStewed applesSTFUsticksstill lifeStiltonStirlingstitch upStockholm Syndromestonestonesstop everythingstorestormStormy Danielsstorystovestrangestrap lineStratstrawsstraystray catstreamingstreetsstressstringsstubbornstuck in the middlestudiostuffstuntstupidSturgeonStuttgartsubtitlessuccesssuetsugarsummersunsun riseSundaySunday morningSunday Postsundrysunnysunny afternoonsunsetsunset.sunshinesupercarsuppliessupportsurfsurgerysurrealsurveysurviveSUVSuzukiswansswearingsweatsweetsweetsswingsswitchswooshsympathysystemT ShirttablesTabootake awaytalenttalkingtall buildingstankTaotapiocaTasmaniatastetastytattattytaxTayteatea. coffeetechtechnicalteenageTeespringteethtelecastertelephoneTempoten yearsTescotesttexturethawthe bluesthe devilthe endthe fallthe light programmethe Maid of the Forththe onethe pastthe pointthe PopeThe Ship InnThe Shiresthe voidtheaterTheresaTheresa Maythickthin manthingsthings in generalthings matteredthirdsthis weekthornsthoughtsthree figuresThursdaytideTiggertighttilestillsTim Hortintimetime.treestintinkeringtinnitustinytiny mindtitlesTLCto dotoadtodaytoestoilettoilet rollstoiletstomatotomatoestomorrowtoneTongatonsTony Blairtool boxtop deckToriestortureToryTory PartyTotestouch screentoughtouriststown centretown planstoxic UKtoy micetracktractortraffictraintraptraumatraveltravelersTravoltaTreadwellTreasuretreetreestremolotrialtribute bandstrickletrimtrophytrugsTrumptruthTSBTShirtTuesdaytummytunestunnelTurkishTVtwaddletweetstwilightTwinkTwittertwotwo sidestwo typestyposU-BoatUFOsughugh!ugly buildingsUKUlster fryundergroundundergrowthunderstandunexpected outcomesunexplainedunfairunfunnyunicornuniverseuniversity challengeunknownunknown itemunnoticedunseasonalunseenuntidyupdateupgradeuploadupside downupstairsupwardsurineUSAUsher HallutopiaVV BombersV&AvacuumvanVandAvanity platesvapourVatican CityveganvegansvegetablesVelvetVenusvespersvetsvibratovictimsVictorvideoviewsVikingVikingsvillagevillagesvilliansvinylvirginvirtualvisitvoicevoicesvolcanovoodoovoteW1AwaitingwalkwalkerswalkingwallWalled gardenwalletswallpaperWalter BeckerwarWarholwarmwarm milkwarm weatherwarmingwarmthWarpaintwashed upwashingwaspswastewaste of timewatchingwaterwater bombwater melonwaterfallwateringWatfordwear and tearweatherweather financeweb sharingwebsweddingwee blue carweedweedsweightweird soundswelcomewellWendysWEPWes AndersonwestWestminsterwetwetwallwhalesWhangwheelie binwheelswhimsywhiskywhiteWhite Housewhite paintwhite walkersWhytewildwild birdswild flowerswildernesswillWill SelfwindwindfallwindowWindowswindows 10windscreenwinnerswinterwisdomwish listWishbone AshwomenwonwonderswoodwoodenwoodswoollyWordwordsworkworkersworldWorld Cupworlds endworm holewrapwritewritingwrongWW2XYannisYardbirdsyearyearsyellowYesyesterdayyogurtyoungstersyouthYouTubezzanyZappazenZombiezoomzulu

Monday, March 25, 2019

The Manual


The simple truth is that the Manual is not worth £87.50 as far as I'm concerned. Others will no doubt disagree. Maybe it's a bargain at that price, as a collectible perhaps; as an actual reference or self help book, I doubt it.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

The truth about OREOs


It's pretty simple really, all those crumbly, dunky, irritating biscuits that claim to be OREOs are in fact imposters, fakes, charlatans etc. The real, true and only 100% OREOs are those that are covered in chocolate thereby achieving the lofty status of an actual chocolate biscuit. Not sure why they are marketed as "enrobed", maybe the imposters should be marketed as "naked". 

P.S. I can't make my mind up as to whether or not imposter should be impostor or imposter. I wish I'd never used the term.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Mysterious Ways




The elite moves in mysterious ways. In the week that Brexit has shown itself to be a full blown national humiliation. Where patronizing speeches by the PM have reverberated around the airwaves and where, in frustration and despair millions have logged onto a Government petition site to register their disapproval and where EU leaders have shown they can quickly and effectively meet up and decide on an issue far more quickly than their UK counterparts; where the fuck are we? If you feel powerless and ignored, even more than usual then where will the hope and the good sense actually come from? Westminster? Maybe, maybe eventually. But only after a cull of the political class and the toxic mess of party politics than ignores good sense, good ideas and truth. The current crop are mostly unfit to lead, rule or decide. We are politically bankrupt. I'm ashamed of May, Corbyn and the rest, an embarrassment. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst, not sure what we'll get. The feelings expressed in the #Revokearticle50March and the social media flurry going with it need to be taken seriously for a change. Can the elite cope with this?

Friday, March 22, 2019

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Hedgehog eating catfood



Here's an injured hedgehog that I rescued chomping away at some catfood (nice chomping noises included so turn up the sound). Now he's on the road to recovery and being cared for by the SSPCA.

Nuclear Option

Another precise piece of social commentary from the artist known as ColdWarSteve.
The toxic Westminster shit show is now even more dangerously out of control. Europe is quite rightly fed up and frustrated with Britain's failure to either agree or even understand any workable Brexit solution. Of course there isn't one, it's a man made disaster that doesn't need to happen but now, thanks to poor leadership and high level corruption and manipulation a No-deal Brexit looks very likely (to me anyway). Most informed opinion tells us that this would be a disaster for the country and the economy. What are we to do?

So after thinking long and hard for at least two minutes on a drive home from St Andrews last night I came up with this idea. It may well already be out there but if so no one's dared to mention it publicly so far.

So the idea is that the SNP do a deal with Theresa May (and the rest of them) to grant her what may be crucial voting numbers to finalize her stupid Brexit deal. They will add their votes for the "deal" but only on condition that they get the following:

1. Clear approval to hold an independence referendum soon after Brexit. 

2. Assuming there is a YES result then Scotland gains independence and the freedom to rejoin the EU shortly thereafter.*


3. Scotland negotiates cast iron guarantees (?) regarding our new independence/divorce deal on finance, industry, farming, oil and fishing rights, trade, defence etc.


The deal is to be 100% transparent, the EU will be fully aware and hopefully quickly approve of Scotland rejoining as an independent nation. Would such an idea ever be taken seriously by Westminster as a means to an end for both the Government and the SNP equally?

After that we can leave the remains of the UK to stew in their own Brexit-based juices or maybe even prosper without us, who knows?

*If the referendum vote goes ahead and returns a big fat NO then at least we've tried. It's either Bannockburn or Flodden so surely worth a pop.

What could possibly go wrong?

#doevilthatgoodmaycome

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Telly this week


Watching TV isn't a regular pastime anymore, there are only about three or four shows I'm likely to be watching these days (on any regular basis). That's not really to do with taste or quality, it's more that my appetite for TV and (doing) other things has changed for whatever reason. Anyway, what's on the box that's actually worth taking in?

This Time with Alan Partridge is both a hoot and downright awkward. This week's CPR with a sex toy and Alan's Irish Republican doppelganger were comedic gems. Both equally hilarious and excruciating, two words used by everybody to describe most of  Steve Coogan's Frankenstein creation's misadventures. If I say much more I'll likely descend into some form of Partridge speak so that's it.

Shetland: God this is awful but compulsive. So bad in every department that it's nearly good. Filmed occasionally in Shetland but mostly in Ayrshire it's BBC's crime drama output at it's most ridiculous and economical. It's penny pinching art of a kind and it's a hymn to the power of CCTV clue gathering, Volvos and the 1000 yard stare set in the strangely small and incestuous world of a fictional Shetland. Islanders and locals must be embarrassed by this.

Fleabag: Strictly speaking Fleabag is not actual Cooncil TV as it's roots are in BBC3, a barren telly dumping ground where few viewers seem to stray, shame. It's very funny and irritating in a posh way, maybe too smug and too irreverent with the fourth wall collapsing with every one of Fleabag's  winks and side eye glances. Now it's released out onto a  wider network to the chattering classes to make what they will of it. The Gogglebox guys should feature it, lots of potential strong reactions. Funny how the best TV straddles the contradictions of the unbearable duplicity of a public and a private life where laughs are not enough nowadays, you need the added depths of tragedy and pathos to stretch comedy drama into a wider universe.

University Challenge: The older I get the more incomprehensible the questions become, the students become more annoying and stereotypical and Paxman more careless and impatient. I sit there hoping for the music and picture rounds knowing I've a half chance of landing on an answer with a wild, pathetic guess. Everything else, every other topic is just me waiting.