Saturday, December 02, 2023
Pretend Snow in a Real Country
The pale winter of discontent arrived as we slept. The yellow warnings were real, but up to a point only. That point was an icy mixture of frosted surfaces and fake snow that failed to deal any serious blow to movements and fixtures. In any other time it would be classed as a normal December day. The first snow of the year and now it's downhill all the way into a season of peculiar customs, a mish-mash of ideology and tinsel coated forced sentimentality which we are all expected to enjoy. I'll get over this eventually.
Friday, December 01, 2023
A Nice Pair
Thursday, November 30, 2023
Yellow Weather
An elevated state of paranoia and anxiety is to be encouraged. Spread fear and control the mindless activities of the common people. Let's make every day a "Yellow Weather Warning" day, even if it's just a bit windy and rainy. Stick it up on websites, on the news instead of actual news, tweet it and plaster it across motorway warning signs. Basically it's not safe to be outside and moving about but also if you're at home you're likely to be flooded out or have a tree fall onto your conservatory or perhaps be struck by lightning. That'll fucken' sort them. Don't forget to buy a lottery ticket either.
I liked it better in the 60s when we were simply afraid of nuclear devastation. We were taught to take cover under our school desks or hide below the stairs if the sirens sounded or the maroons were fired (who remembers maroons?). We never even considered the futility of acting on any of this "practical" advice. Imminent white hot death from the heavens could happen on any day at any time but we respected the fact that various VIPs would be able to use exclusive bomb shelters. Meanwhile rain, high winds, snow and ice were just seen as normal, shitty weather conditions and schools and railway lines were not going to close because of any of that bollocks. Get back to work the lot of you!
In many ways nowadays it would make a lot more sense if the actual warnings were targeted towards global warming and climate control messages. Motorway signs could declare "Don't be so smug drivers, you're all fucked, change your ways!" instead of check your tyres and phone conduct drivel. Weather forecasts should include the bad smells, contamination and fumes caused by sewage outfalls, chemical processing, industrial and plastic waste and landfill sites. Consumers should be encouraged to stop buying crap on line that ends up being binned ten minutes after delivery (kids "toys" being the worst offenders here). Package holidays into the bleached and unforgiving sun could have cancer warnings. And so on ...
So we're staying in today for safeties sake, piling on the logs and filling hot water bottles, it's going to go down to at least -3 at about four in the morning. There may be a light breeze, sleet even. Occasionally we'll peer outside using the Ring doorbell camera via our phones. Stay safe.
Tuesday, November 28, 2023
Soupable
SOUPABLE Adjective. [ soo - pa -bell ] *
Able to be made into soup. Has all of the qualities necessary, after going through a preparation and/or cooking process, to become soup. The completed soup is assumed to be edible i.e. fit for consumption.
Relatable to all matters involving the creation of some kind of soup using any relevant recipe.
- In his opinion the chicken stock and vegetables were soupable.
- She went to the supermarket in order to purchase some soupable ingredients.
- The chef declared his creation to be both soupable (soup) and suppable (supped with a spoon).
- Have a look in the cupboard and see if there is anything that might be considered suitable to be soupable.
- We may be in for some soupable weather (soup needed).
- A shopping list of soupables.
Also:
soupable vegetables,
duck soupable,
bird's nest soupable,
mock turtle soupable,
cosmic soupable.
*Just taking the occasional opportunity to increase and enrich the vocabulary of all you ignorant plebs out there. If the cap fits wear it. Consider yourselves lucky. This is a test broadcast.
Greensleeves
Sunday, November 26, 2023
Unrelated Media
If you're practicing guitar then it's consistency you need or so the gurus might say. I've never been so good at that. Too many other things to do, too many distractions. Maybe I'm just not so keen on music. I can't be bothered. There's a cat asleep on my lap so I'm stuck. Repetition and exercise kills creativity. Old dogs, new tricks. Been tinkering on the margins too long. YouTube experts that kill the joy. Where am I even going with this? Is there a good film on somewhere?
Merry Christmas
One of more peculiar sights in South Queensferry is that there is a private residence in the High Street flanked by two of the rarest things you'll see in any Scottish town these days; two public conveniences. The Gents and the Ladies are bookends to this house's front door. I don't I've ever seen that anywhere else, albeit it's not a topic I've ever researched. I guess everyone around here takes this feature as quite a normal thing because it's been this way for a while. The bright Christmas sign above is I think a part of the town's seasonal decoration, it adds a surreal dimension to the scene.
Friday, November 24, 2023
Rude Index
Thursday, November 23, 2023
No.3 and No.4
Every guitarist has a No1. and presumably a No2. instrument. Their most usable and playable guitars and obviously many more beyond that, certainly for live work. My first two* are the light maple topped Les Paul "120" and a red Washburn 335 semi. The guitars in the picture however are currently vying for positions 3 and 4 in a relatively small field. Three being the Sunburst Partscaster and four being the highly modified Les Paul DIY effort.
These are both pretty comfortable and playable but naturally they have issues, common problems with Frankenstein guitars. Mostly the problems are about set-up and intonation, things that by degrees I'm slowly solving. The Les Paul, now that I've played it again after about a year's hibernation, certainly needs new machine heads - that could be a pricey improvement. There's no point in skimping and pussyfooting around. Then there's the bigger question, do I really need number three and four at all?
*Not counting acoustics here either.
Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Goblin Golden Hour
The golden hour arrives at South Queensferry whenever the great and powerful goblins who rule the universe turn on their spectral filtering system so all us poor wee humans can be momentarily distracted and puzzled by these suddenly visible heavenly events. It's a treat for the bored pensioners too. Usually it's the northern lights they turn on because that gets everyone's attention and all the snappers come out and swamp Instagram with their greeny weirdy photos from somewhere up by Dundee or down by Berwick upon Tweed. We don't have a northern lights experience here as we're continually bathed in light pollution and astral sewage. Edinburgh Council have also banned them as they might distract cyclists. So as some compensation for our pleasurable misfortunes the space goblins give us the odd daytime golden hour just to keep us happy. (Photo taken from a Canberra.)
Monday, November 20, 2023
A Predictable Outcome
Saturday, November 18, 2023
Everybody
Everybody these days does the same shit really. We're all carbon copies. If you're lucky enough to have Netflix (?) then you binge on The Crown. You can't avoid the reviews and criticism or whatever else is bouncing about. So you sit on the couch, wine/coffee/beer/tea at the ready and absorb this version of the shared experience that being a "subject" is. Whatever your opinions or views on the royals might be, if you're a certain age it all rings true as part the fabric or backdrop to years of your life. The common national memory clinks and snaps into action as fierce as some animal instinct. I think for us all on this scabby island that's really what it's about; the collateral damage done by the relentless pushing of the royal narrative and enforced flag shagging and standing to attention for people that you're actually better than.
There's little in the way of revelation or novelty in the story line, you've heard it all before, you've just not seen it this way with all the big money production values air brushing across your own feeble memory and recollections. Now it's this version of the truth that prevails until another comes along in 20 years time. Life didn't quite seem this way when you were living through it with all it's painful and often bleak reality buffeting you. The old BBC footage, grainy tabloid photos, interviews and snippets all of which were unavoidable at the time even for the most desperate of republicans have been overwritten and buried by the bright spectacle this provides. God no ... but yes. There's still another six episodes to go.
Friday, November 17, 2023
Typical Guardian Readers
I'm firmly in their woolly pullovered demographic but that was never my intention: Grown up family, three cats, retired, to the left of centre, quizzical and critical, watch Netflix now and then, concerned about the future, a bit hypocritical, try to eat right but don't, weary of politics and human idiocy, bored with any arty or theatrical stuff. I still check the news most days because I've a need to feel I'm keeping up. The Guardian on-line being more entertaining than most media sources but I don't agree with a few of the editorials, some featured material or the positioning of news.
Thursday, November 16, 2023
Two Restarts
Two restarts and a cold, cold heart: Living with an aging laptop is, I presume a bit like living with an aging relative of some sort. The grumpy soul who you feed with soup, small talk and AC/DC on the headphones while trying to ignore the numerous slip-ups they make. So as my laptop is too old for an upgrade to the lofty heights of Windows 11 we struggle along together through the maze of regular Windows updates, administered like the bedside drip of drugs or fluids plumbed into the limp arm of some terminally ill patient. There is a real buzz of satisfaction when it's done and knowing that Windows is smooth to use for a while.
Without these regular clinical boosts and the ever lengthening restarts that accompany them it would all be over in seconds as the Windows 10 mechanism and it's aging processors slowly slip away into a numb coma of flickering chips and failing connections. Then total shutdown and onwards into the pile in that special place where old laptops are stacked awaiting ... a fate nobody quite knows anything about. They are simply there like the old phones, chargers and connectors that we have no more use for but can't quite face the treacherous act of disposing of them.
But it's not dead yet. I see it as being a bit like a classic car, overtaken and made obsolete by bland looking EVs, bristling with screens and apps, fancy door handles, distinctly iffy build quality and a pitiful range. All the faithful laptop needs is that odd jump start to get going again to get back to wagging a finger at you and crunching a few of your files. It's not as if I'm asking much of it either, it's hardly pulling a caravan, nope, just a few documents to tweak, editing photos and routine browsing mainly. It's in a permanent and sedate retirement place really but for those bullies at Microsoft shoving down our throats the fairly obvious news that it can never be compatible with Windows 11, oh no, never and that's their final word. We're living the twilight life of the cancelled.
I recall Apple doing the same over their operating systems in my Mac Book days. Just keep churning out the devices and make sure everybody has to keep up, all appliances are cash cows. Obviously they're right in as much as the systems move on but it just riles the gristle filled, stubborn part of me that admires 40 year old fridges, real books, cassette decks and the odd German built sports car from the last century. Whatever happened to those ridiculous ideas of sustainability and continuous improvement that might consider the end user as possibly being important?
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
When We Got Older
Tuesday, November 14, 2023
Octopus Curiosity
Sunday, November 12, 2023
The Persistence of Paper
Dr Who: Return From the Bin
Doctor Who is already lost in a world of AI and heritage based confusion, with over exposure and over blown attempts to remain relevant, as some might quite reasonably say. I know I don't watch it anymore, but I do like the breaking news story of BBC employees who, rather than throw away original 1960s Dr Who filmed episodes, took it upon themselves to save the precious classic TV series by taking them home and simply hoarding them rather than dump them in the bin as ordered. You have to wonder what the fuck was going on at the BBC in the 1960s, too mean to pay for storage space?
The hoarders must have known that a day of reckoning would come and lived in fear of it, as if criminals who'd committed a massive but unreported robbery. Now older and afraid of the establishment's retribution and presumed white hot wrath they are conflicted and as frozen in inaction as the films they possess.
Dear unemployed script writers everywhere, here's your new drama series (or at least a decent 60 minute playlet) to batter out of your greasy Mac-books. The punchline is that many, not all, of these almost mythical but rescued and now theoretically available episodes are pretty much artistic shit and completely unwatchable for any modern audience (but there may be a big market in the care home industry).
Saturday, November 11, 2023
Um
Growing old in and around social media: One thing I notice is the slow degradation in the comments and postings of those "peripheral" friends we all have. Folks you met a couple of times along the way maybe (if at all) or through some second hand contact and they just stayed in the margins of that unreal slice of life. As they grow older and you observe but don't interact with their comments and output, there's often an gradual element of craziness that emerges.
Friday, November 10, 2023
Touched by the Hand of EVH
This Van Halen "stage played" Kramer is expected to go for $60k or so. Not my thing but it'll eventually hang on some Hard Rock Cafe or investment manager's wall I guess, awaiting the next auction and further projected profit. Hard to imagine what future music stars might auction; the phone it was all recorded on, a sticker covered Mac-book, used VIP vapes, the WhatsApp message tree where the lyrics were written or the passwords for the AI platform that composed the tune?