Thirty Seven Minutes After Sushi

I hear there's an election coming.

I'm just not feeling it.

They say it's general.

But not genial.

Pay for coffee.

Paper coffee.

Pay per coffee.

With no typing errors.

Everything is serious.

Nobody listens.

Or learns from history.

None of that makes you a victim.

Unless you choose to be one.

So.

Buy a T shirt.

Bridge Too Far

Guitar bridge modifications heading in reverse: Nobody told me that the bridge set up on (probably all regardless of make) LP Juniors was a complete bugger of a thing. This bridge is non standard and promises a bit more than it delivers, however the one I was planning to replace this one with turns out to be even worse despite seemingly offering better adjustments. One more time and I'm another eBay "special" victim. I should be used to this by now.

So one size does not fit all. Outside dimensions, however similar they may be don't mean something will fit. So I had a bit of a swear fest over this. In the end I compromised with some new and old bits making up a "better" solution. I'm not sure if it is, but I'll tell myself it is. 

So to sum up; to put on new strings, set up the action and then set the intonation just involves too much faffing about and repeatedly taking things apart, detuning and putting things back together with fiddly Allan keys. It's fine once it's set up but basically it's a bad piece of design and impractical for regular use. End of lesson. 

P.S. Some guys in Memphis have invented a compensating bridge for Juniors - a clever idea but it's over $100 plus postage so I'll get by just fine without it.

Cat Day Afternoon

Cats: Mostly just cats being cats in the home and garden wonderland. Every so often they need to rescued from some mighty hedge that threatens to imprison them or they become hypnotized by bees, birds and floating specs of dust (from some long demolished outer planet). Then they climb up into complicated or flimsy trees that lead to other dimensions. We summon them back down and in for meals using cat treat bribery and promises and lies about exotic cat food. One of these days they'll see through the charade. 

They are getting a fair bit of vitamin C and occasional exercise learning the skills of stalking and hunting. I've kept the grass long and spindly in places so they have a jungle to explore. We're just getting tense and extra watchful. They know that we know that they can jump a seven foot gate or fence so it's set at a kind of escape stalemate at the moment. One good thing is that they dislike the rain and noisy people.

God of the Practical Joke

 

Images captured at the Ludwig Gallery.

Thoughts about art galleries.

Fake silence and respect.

The public are under constant observation.

There's an air of distrust.

I stand, I shuffle.

For how long should you stand looking?

Ignoring certain works.

Forgotten space.

Say the artist's name out loud.

Read the small print.

No need to look at or even understand everything.

A sliver of wood holds you back.

I admire the floor.

The wrong kind of information.

Perhaps we don't belong here?

Everyday, a Deja Vu.

A collapse of light.

"Perhaps we can't belong here?"

The God of the practical joke speaks.

Cologne Daily Photo Part 2

A very stylish fruit and vegetable smoothie shop. A vibrant and colourful handmade drink is about 10 Euros.

No trip to Cologne is complete without finding a shop that sells old open reel tape decks. The control system on this old Grundig model looks complicated but is still clean and robust after all those years of use. Incredible machines. Most people under 50 would not know how to operate one of these, maybe even not know what it is for.

Gardens of paving outside the Ludwig Gallery.

Please do not open? That's asking for it.

Street scene, early evening; my secure but unspectacular hotel is up on the right side. 

Cologne Daily Photo

Spent a few days in Cologne earlier in the week. The footie teams will soon be there preparing for and competing in the Euros. Any day/week now it's all kicking off. It's actually a great and welcoming city and I'm sure the Scottish fans will benefit from the many parks, fast food joints and corner kiosks scattered across town. Each kiosk is fitted with a handy bottle opener on a string.

This local car share club might not operate so easily were it based in Scotland. Don't ask me why, I just have an awkward feeling about it.

When you're all done with your old bike stick it in a frame and put it up on wall in a close (Scottish vernacular). Good Idea.

Some imaginative cafe's see their toilet roll stock pile as a useful opportunity to create interesting artworks. More Cologne stuff tomorrow...

Life Gives You Lemons

Life gives, life takes away: Here are a couple pics of lemons provided by life, in a fairly complicated but pleasant enough way. Never underestimate their super power. It's called being a lemon. They mean business.

Alternative Glasto

As we're unable to get to Glastonbreeeh this year because of systematic computer rejection I decided to create my own mini pyramid stage that's also doubling as a small pea plantation. The Force is strong in the middle of the string pentagram. However the cats were unimpressed by the new structure ignoring it as they passed by. Only peas will be performing there and a few parasites and insects.

It's not the same as the real mccoy but who cares? Possibly better, all things considered and quite a lot cheaper. It's also wonky but so are most things around here. Wabi Sabi. Perhaps our festival attending, mud scratching and toilet trip planning days are over. Probably not.

Sunny Saturday in South Queensferry

The sound of rushing water albeit there's no sound on this clip, it's just a pretty little garden image. You have to imagine the restful plink plonk of the water and the birdsong in the trees and the regular zap and brap of over weight old guys keenly revving their large motorcycle engines at the biker's cafe somewhere in the distance. Life can be good.

Dance of the 3D Printers

Non human entertainment aimed mostly at non humans: An exciting new creative dance venture from the people who gave you "Things That Might Enhance Your Fiscal Repertoire", "Failing Upwards" and "Movements Through Sludge". They/we are pleased to announce that "The Dance Of The 3D Printers" will premiere on a screen or device (using assorted pixels) located near to you, or possibly in the residence next door or thereabouts, quite soon. 

We'll set an exact date as soon as the legal wrangles are resolved and when we can level the printer decks correctly and free up the blocked hot plastic tubes. Working with real artists who are also unreal can be a bit of a technical challenge but with God's help and a strong Southerly breeze we will surely succeed. Please note that we are no longer funded by unwanted or unclaimed Conservative Party donations. It was in fact a lie.

Alien

Not many people know that the inspiration for the design of the alien eggs in the Ridley Scott* movie "Alien" came from the production team's late night, marathon encounters with tequila and Ferrero Rochet chocolates set in their unique cradle/box container. I for one certainly did not know this until I made the whole story up yesterday at lunch time.

*Let's not forget Dan O'Bannon who wrote script.

Suggested by Amazon

 

I'm not sure what I've bought or searched for on Amazon that made this item a suggested purchase for me. A scaffolding tower, seven metres high, hmm, that's not any kind of risky at all for a man of my age and ability. I'll take two. One for the front of the house and one for the rear.

Below: Cats looking out of the window as I teeter along in a strong wind on top of the handy, DIY enabling, Amazon sourced tower outside. Killing off those high level odd jobs one shaky hammer blow at a time.

Happened the Other Day(s)

On Saturday night the Capital Models gig at Leith Docker's Club went down well. A decent crowd of revelers attended, most up for a singalong and some dancing and hopefully they all enjoyed themselves and will return for more, but the question is will we?  All our commitments have been settled for gigs so will we be asked back for more mayhem and more either too loud or too quiet music (you can never tell)? There's a lot of uncertainty in this world of  live music and where and when it can be fitted in - and your set content needs to be deemed "popular" though nobody seems to know what that actually means. Audience demographics being hard to predict in times of austerity. In the end you just do what can and do what you know and enjoy it. (Photo credit: AR).

Ali and I returned to LDC on Sunday for more live music; basically an afternoon birthday jam. The overall standard of performance was pretty high and we were happy to take part. We also scoffed a lot of birthday food and enjoyed more singalongs and catch ups and avoided the rain. A very pleasant and (for me) quite emotional afternoon - some performances were off the scale, top notch. I also am wondering about the possibility of a tiny LDC curse of some sort bearing down on me, I seem to break guitar strings there on a regular basis.

Happening Tomorrow

For deeply religious reasons I am unable to post posts on a Saturday. Divine retribution of some terrible kind would befall me, no doubt. There would be blood. Also unspeakable horror and torment etc. So I'm posting this small but well formed reminder today (Friday) thereby avoiding the curse of the weird weekend and the Sabbath and all those sort of things. So at around eight o'clock tomorrow evening (Saturday 25th), our brand of genuine rock music will be unleashed at Leith Docker's Club in the fine but somewhat dilapidated city of Edinburgh. Capital Models are alive and kicking along with the occasional stumble or moment of absent mindedness. Don't miss it. Free entry and cheap alcohol. 

AI Cat in the Spinach Patch

 

In a garden where secrets lie,

Beyond the human’s watchful eye,

An AI cat, so silent, roams,

In the spinach patch, he calls his home.

Among the greens, cat moves unseen,

A digital ghost, swift and keen,

Whispering to the leaves he finds,

The coded dreams of human minds.

Digitized feline, sharp and sly,

With algorithmic, knowing eye,

You bridge the worlds, now near and far,

Those tales of tech and green memoir.

In shadows cast by starlit sky,

You ponder life and so do I,

In the spinach patch, in everything,

A silent hero, an unseen King.

"AI lyric possibly in the style of Leonard Cohen"

                             Well that's what it said on the side of the packet.

                              Some human intervention may have occurred.

We actually have a real cat (three in fact) and a fairly real spinach patch (all the rage these days amongst the chattering classes). Now dead poet's names are quietly exploited on a whim by cheap AI.

Go Away!

Today's news: Cold War Steve nails the moment yet again. Our so called leader is, as we might say up here in Scotlandshire, a complete fanny. The problem is ... well we all know how this goes. Ho hum.

Capital Models v Leith

Capital Models: We're back in town this Saturday (May 25th) playing live at Leith Docker's Club. 20:00 start time, finishing around 23:45. We're temporarily reduced to a four piece this time but will still make plenty of noise running through a dose of hits and floor fillers from err... the past, or recent history as some folks like to describe it. Free entry and a reasonably priced bar. Ignore the headphones.

Tales From The Looper

 

I bought this loop pedal in Manny's Guitars in New York about 15 years ago. It cost me $100 and I've not regretted the purchase. Sadly it seems it's days of looping and layering are done as it's not really working and does produce some odd and unplanned "Echos" era Pink Floyd noises from time to time. It screams at me mainly and I find that disturbing. It's been used successfully on a number of recordings and I've tried it in live situations but ... obviously I'm no K T Tunstall so that never went too well. For practice though a looper is a great tool and this one has been useful. Now a life in other pastures beckon via the services of Mr eBay. Some erstwhile screwdriver jockey just might know a fix. Clearly I don't. 

Cat Nativity

Despite the fact that it's May or thereabouts the cats still went ahead with their project to create a Christmas Nativity scene from some used boxes and their favourite small toys. Overall I think they're quite pleased with the end result. Not sure it'll last until the real Christmas bun fight starts but it's a good effort, hearts in the right place etc. Above features the construction team, below is the end result.

Dragonfly

Rare seeing a dragonfly in the garden. Ali captured a shot of this one today (that well might be yesterday by the time ...). I was momentarily reminded of the Jimi Hendrix lyric; Spanish Castle Magic.

"It's very far away

It takes about a half a day to get there

If we travel by my dragonfly
No it's not in Spain
But all the same you know, it's a groovy name
And the wind's just right."