Teeth on edge

Needs more work...

My teeth have been on perpetual edge today, a likely product of the mustard mackerel and noodle diet combination mixed with pre-ice age temperatures, frozen Volvos and failing footwear. Anyway it's lucky for the entire world that even the almost bitter, bitter weather, the media frenzy over royal pregnancies and George Osborne's stream of curious measures and facial expressions doesn't stop me having a steady succession of ideas, some of which are better than the others and don't themselves require described in complete or well constructed sentences. They are out there.

So I'm feeling sorry for the cats. They are being driven mad by the intense cold, the itchy carpets and anything made of cane or rattan. These materials seem to provoke them into ripping the hell out of the poor, innocent stuff. It's full on claws and a kind of pent up feline aggression released that's desperate to rip the reeds to shreds. It makes a lot of unpleasant noise and it's not the best thing to wake up to. I may to take the edge of a blunt Black and Decker to them - that's either the cat's claws or the rattan.