Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Stop the yawns
I'm not sure that it can be effectively policed but still I fully support the Scottish Parliament's new proposal to make yawning illegal whilst driving a motor car. This bold move will not only save lives but will promote a healthier lifestyle, cut out obesity and encourage a far more focused attitude towards that most hazardous of pastimes, driving. It might encourage upright Scots to spend less time fiddling with pointless video games, listening to accordion music and downloading late night porn on their phones as they'll have to get a decent early night now and again. In an additional piece of legislation listening to "soft" or so called classical music will also be banned mainly because of it's medically proven soporific and growth stunting effects. Also up for prohibition is daydreaming (in colour only) and thinking about things other than driving or the current atrocious traffic conditions. Chewing gum will also be banned because we all know that it's just plain dirty. An unnamed spokesman for the SNP regime later said in a limited release press statement, "we're up for sorting you lazy bastards out."