Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Ending with so

Unrelated apple sliced by UFO.

Home Improvement. Nothing of universal significance really happened today although I wasn't maintaining complete attention at all times, I may have missed a bit of detail or hot action. The chicken salad worked for me and on me but that's another story. Once there were two breakfast yogurts, then none, the flavours were modern and vague. In the background a radio played and it felt cold outside but I learned a lot about Scottish Islam Week, it's on this week all across Glasgow with a series of gritty events being run. I won't be bothering attending much this year as I am without the appropriate head gear or any meaningful religious values whatsoever.

I wore a jumper straight from the hot tumble dryer and noted that it took a short but fuzzy car journey to work to uncrease the creases. Ironing is so 20th century I told myself. Later I visited the Post Office to collect two parcels. The journey was marked by the buzzing of an irritating VW Golf that seemed to latch itself onto my rear bumper. It's driver was a complete stranger.

Once there I managed to pass myself of as both myself and my wife and still got away with one electronic signature and a wink from the girl behind the counter. We've yet to open the mysterious packages and why oh why did they send me a text message to tell me a parcel was coming, then not deliver it but just leave a red and white card with scribbles on it? Then they sent me a text message to tell me they've left me a red and white card and I cannot reply to the no-reply text number they use. It happened twice (?). So that's why I have to drive 7.5 miles through road works and pot holes and traffic lights and back again to get to the Post Office pickup counter where I park badly in protest.

In general and without malice I blame the road-men and the dead weather for the general non-delivery of things and what I like to call their “happiness sabotage”. So I can't even be bothered to turn on the telly but if I did I now have a smart SKY connector to connect the stupid TV to the slow-witted wi-fi, if only I could get around to opening up the package. I think I may have left it in the boot. Tomorrow it's an airport tea for me and though you can't start a proper sentence with so you can end a badly constructed sentence with so.

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