Take a normal sized (?) Mars Bar, douse it in batter and deep fry it in bubbling, yellow deep fat for about five minutes, then sell it to tourists for £1.50 as a Scottish delicacy. Then tell everybody you invented it and that it was William Wallace's favourite treat anytime he was passing through Stonehaven in his Hillman Imp. Tourists will flock in wide eyed and slavering, the world will beat a path to your doorstep and the locals will wonder what all the fuss about whilst whispering "we never eat any of that shite round here". Then along comes Aberdeen Council or somebody and they want to demolish your shop in the name of healthy eating and put the catering staff into stocks on the village green...aye, that sounds about right to me.
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