Dreaded blue gloves

Back in the day I'd worry that somehow I'd manage to do something criminal and end up in the slammer on porridge (which incidentally I quite like but maybe the prison fare is less than perfect). My main fear however, apart from slopping out and social contact was the prospect of dropping the soap in the shower. That potential scenario and it's consequences terrified me. So as it happens, modern medical science has recently allowed me to at least deal with and almost overcome that particular fear. Yes, there's nothing quite like having a series of regular prostate examinations once you're in your early sixties. Being rooted around with lubricated mobile devices, butt cameras and ultrasound sensors not to mention the dreaded jellied blue gloved finger can now be struck off my bucket list of bad experiences, those that I never want to repeat. 

Yes that's the special list of awkward things you want to avoid at all costs, like throwing up on a bus, losing your wallet, scraping an expensive car, being publicly bawled out by somebody from your past, nearly drowning in a water park and various things involving animals, women, toilets and buckets of tar, etc etc. So whilst I'm not looking at any likely jail term at the moment (I'm pretty much free of any possible misdemeanors that might take me there), at least one particular  fear has diminished just a little. Thank you life.