Saturday, April 21, 2012

Not another cat related post!

The spoils go to the victor.

Missie's Diary: Sympathy for the rabbit.

“Jesus, these people are stupid, they don't even understand the basic game of small animal juggling. It's a Friday night, they're all drinking red stuff and sitting on couches in the warm room looking half dead. Why wouldn't I do them a favour and try to liven things up? So all I do is bring in a baby rabbit and drop it on the kitchen floor. You'd have thought I'd brought in an improvised explosives device, talk about over react, I was just giving them the opportunity to play some indoor sports and socialise a bit. So what do they do? They shout at each other, chase me out of the house and then corner the poor rabbit, attacking it with kitchen implements, broom handles and mops. No wonder it dives under the cupboard and refuses to come out, that's a nice welcome to give a visitor. It's like some scene from a Frankenstein movie with the ignorant peasants going nuts with torches and pitchforks. They seem to have only two settings, asleep and angry mob, pathetic really, I don’t think they'll ever amount to much. Anyway I don't know what happened next I went back out and enjoyed some night time smells, overheard owl tales and did some strutting. I wonder when they'll jack up the nerve to try to apply some more of that Savlon stuff to me again?”

Clint's Diary: WTF.

“Things are getting worse, I'm upstairs, trying to sleep on my bed, the one they sometimes borrow and she comes running in and picks up that annoying plastic hair dryer thing. Then she goes downstairs, so I follow, just to take a peek. God Almighty, she's firing it off at a poor stunned baby rabbit that's hiding under a cupboard like she's Dog the Bounty Hunter, WTF? How's the rabbit supposed to react to that? Don't humans understand the innocent fun of animal blood sports and the related normal social niceties? This place is screwy, I'm going back to bed.”

Anna's Diary: Stoned again.

“I fell off that bloody couch arm again or did that bitch push me? No zero tolerance around here. I don't remember much about anything really, those drugs they keep slipping me in the prawns are really messing with my head but they've got me well hooked now. Still it's five star bed and board with endless narcotics for free and those other two dummies keep them distracted most of the time bringing in their little furries and feathers. It means I can enjoy my sweet dreams, sniff the radiator and silently dribble anywhere I like. Nice.”

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