Wednesday, August 05, 2020

Boys - Black Stuff

It's all over the local Bookface pages like a sticky rash, there are yellow signs popping up in the street and a pamphlet has arrived through our letterbox. We are being warned. Cheap, cheerful and invariably messy road upgrading technology will be imposed upon our worn out street. Using state of the art technology invented about two hundred years ago and inspired by the Romans and the Flintstones, hot tar and cold chips will once again coat our road surface. The big day is Thursday, weather and Edinburgh City Council's Budget permitting. 

I'm less than excited about this so called "improvement". A summer time tar parade of black goo and scary thoughts of loose chips ricocheting like bullets across car windscreens and the sweaty temples of bald headed old men isn't wonderful. The blocked drains, the tar coated shoes, the petrol heads screwing up the virgin surface with Fiesta powered burn-outs, the glued up bicycles. Ugh. A bleak and terrifying weekend lies ahead with WD40 and elbow grease at the ready to clean up all comers, all goers, all animals and various parts of once pristine car bodies. It's murder if it gets into your teeth or the water supply they tell me.

Cat reacts to news of imminent local road repairs.

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