Monday, September 07, 2020

Fruits of no labour


An unsung modern hymn with neither tune nor verses: "When you didn't clear the ground, you didn't turn the soil, you didn't plant the seeds or saplings, you didn't feed and nurture, you didn't prune and protect, you didn't stand back and admire the growth and shape. All you did was come along and pick the fruit. Unfortunately the fruits on this tree are pears and they are like some giant mutation of lead shot. You're all going to Hell or at the very least somewhere pretty unpleasant. Amen."

For some reason I can imagine Coldplay doing a reasonable version of this and getting away with it. In concert the fans would be enthusiastically singing along to "you didn't feed and nurture". They hold up their glowing phones, waving their arms in the air as Chris Martin holds his mic out into the audience to signal that it's time for them to join in which they do with gusto.  It's all happening right now in a Covid free parallel universe near to you.

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