I awoke this morning from a strange dream. It was my funeral (sometime in the distant future obviously), anyway it was in the "North Korean" style. Lots of military types surrounded the extravagant coffin, all wearing those big daft hats as I was paraded through the desolate streets of Dunfermline. Even the charity and coffee shops were closed as a mark of respect and the buskers held back, stopping their tuneless clarinet music as we passed by. In it's own strange way it was a dignified though unusual send off, the driving snow adding a chilling and appropriate lack of colour to the day. Obscure pieces of psychedelic music from the 60s and 70s were played loudly from large army vehicles carrying larger sound systems. In a fitting climax as we approached the place (Communist Party HQ or East End Park?) of the actual service Frank Zappa's Peaches in Regalia was blaring out, deafening and silencing the assembled masses. After that it's all a bit of a blur. I'm guessing most folks headed either to the pub, Tony Macaronis or back to jail depending on their recent behaviour or how they were regarded by our grim faced lords and masters. Of course I've no idea what turn of events led to me getting such a send off...I just hope you all can make it come the day.
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